DOC HOLIDAY FOR GOVERNOR?
09.17.08
Recently it was rumored that Val Kilmer has been considering a break from his day job as a Women’s Studies professor in order to run for governor of New Mexico in 2010.
Gov. Bill Richardson helped fuel speculation about the actor possibly running for governor when he told television reporters last week, “I like the idea.” Richardson’s term ends in 2010.
Richardson acknowledged he hasn’t talked with Kilmer and doesn’t know whether he’s seriously considering a bid for the governorship, but said, “if he jumps in a race he’s got name ID, so it can’t be discounted.”
Kilmer, who lives in San Miguel County, has never cast a ballot in New Mexico since registering to vote in 1992, according to registration records. [Fox News]
Outside of club promoters and people who write websites, actors are probably the least qualified people for running anything ever, but then again this is New Mexico so hey why not. Little is known about Kilmer’s campaign platform, but the candidate is said to be staunchly “pro cupcake.”
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Kilmer’s campaign slogan: “This state ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
Current state nickname: “Land of Enchantment”
Kilmer’s state nickname: “Land of Enchiladas”
Kilmer thinks he’s popular in in New Mexico because people keep calling him “Santa Feo”. He believes it’s because he represents the state well. They really do it because he’s gotten weird looking since he last starred in a movie with Elisabeth Shue.
Sexy commenter, Charlie Bronze, helped fuel speculation about the possibility of time travel when he told no one of consequence last week, “I like the idea.” I like how things get done in America.
Kilmer’s spent a lot of time in Alamogordo, just helping the city live up to its name.
Governor Kilmer promises to finally make Chaco Canyon live up to its name.
Kilmer’s waist is known as Area 51.
Why does America think actors can run states or cities?
I don’t want to be too harsh to my American friends here(you out number me too, i don’t want to be bullied) but is it purely that people regognize the face and so feel safe or do these actors actually have a clue?
He doesn’t look like he’s considered running at all for the last 8 years.
Kilmer’s platform should be “What the hell is this thing on my elbow? If we come together as a community, we can figure this issue out. Oh, and change or something.”
I’m on board wiff MIZ’s “thing on my elbow” campaign! Who’s wiff me?
Philip Seymour Hoffman may find running for political office a struggle, what with him being the go to guy when there’s a creepy sex case role to be cast. I’d vote for him though.
Kilmer’s vice governemor will be a quesadilla with Cheech Marin’s face on it.
No, really. I first saw that thing in “Heat” and was trying to figure out what scene he injured it in, and if it was part of the story. I was pissed they never brought it up. Now I think he uses it to store Milk Duds.
I got two voter registration cards, one for each of ya.
I’m your Huckabee…
I’ve read about Kilmer’s platform. It is triple-reinforced.
Making fun of Kilmer’s weight problem is a part of my balanced breakfast.
That picture looks like John Ritter in a fat suit.
Potential Post Headlines:
IceMan melts at the Polls
Kilmer Rouge in NM
Gov. Val Devours Local Chupacabras
Kilmer: You can be my wingman, anytime.
Richardson: Bullshit! That’s what Hooters Waitresses are for.
If Jesse The Body Ventura could be a governor, then why couldn’t another overweight has-been be one too?
I refuse to vote for any actor who hasn’t uttered the phrase “slack-jawed faggots” in any of his movies.
I see your point Vincenzo, but if RDJ was running, you’d reconsider. Especially if he was in black face.
if he jumps in a race he’s got name ID, so it can’t be discounted.
That name? Richter.
Kilmer’s campaign staff is Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale.
Juan’s Red Hankie Shop is very nervous about this.
New Mexico: Fatter than old Mexico.
Kilmers’ first lady is Mrs. Butterworth.
Hi affair with Mrs. Fields will be highly publicized in the next few months.
Val Kilmer will donate a mesh belt to stop Mexicans from crossing the Rio Grande.
Kilmer’s most successful lobbyists include Otis Spunkmeyer and Little Debbie.
He’s already got a proven track record of taking our most powerful weapons and converting them into popcorn making machines, so that will win the hippie crowd.
Guy’cha! In 70 years this yIntagh will look like Orville Redenbacher!
Burnsy – I was going to make a Cookie Puss joke the other day, but I was sure no one outside of the tri-state area would get it.
Fascinating, The Mighty Feklahr can
fantasize aboutactually see Kilmer’s nipples jutting out of this suit, too!When asked how he planned to solve the state’s homeless problem, Kilmer responded, “CA-OOOOOOOOOOKIE CRISP!”
Stone, you can thank Family Guy for propagating that one. I’d never heard of Cookie Puss or Fudgie the Whale before FG referenced them.
Us left-coasters will get it if we’re familiar with Patton Oswalt.
Kilmer will vehemently deny Nazi ties when it is exposed that he is a big contributor to a German sounding company, Haagen something or other.
Stoney, we had Carvel down here when I was a kid and sometime around my 7th birthday the Fudgies stopped showing up. I think that was the first time I became cynical of the economy.
Us non-coasters like to drink beer, make racist jokes, and burn fags.
We are really big into tobacco.
Stoney, Patton enlightened us easterners about the beauty of ice cream cakes and gravel voiced pitchmen.
And the thumb beat me…
Wow, apparently this Cookie Puss conspiracy is further reaching than I’d at first believed. I’m shocked.
I think he reappropriated those glasses from the set of Tombstone. Kind of like that craft service table “incident” they don’t speak of.
I think he’s going for the Chinese-American vote with all those Chins.
EVERY WEDNESDAY IS SUNDAY AT CAAAVEL
Kilmer’s slogan:
A Taco Bell on every corner and a Rascal under every ass!
In Detroit, we don’t have Carvel. But the Stroh’s Ice Cream Cookie Vadge is pretty clearly a knock-off.
Val’s still rolling in cash from his appearance in the new Star Wars films. He wasn’t technically in them, but he was the model for the motion capture of the Hutt characters.
When Baskin Robbins has its baseball helmet promotion, Kilmer’s friendship with Barry Bonds finally pays off.
I went to school out in Ohio. A local ice cream shop had Chummy the Tuna. It wasn’t a big seller.
New Up!
If a woman can run for Vice President of the US, then this lesbian can run for Governor of New Mexico.
This just in: Congress has voted to install a razor wire fence around Hollywood. When asked for comment Speaker of the House Nancy Pilosi said “Theykeeptaakingouurjjjjobbbbs.”
This fat prick definitely rides a segway
He’s about one snicker doodle away from losing a foot to diabetes.