COMMENTS OF THE WEEK
09.15.08Sorry I have no actual prizes to give the winners this week, folks. You’ll just have to settle for the right to brag to the boss who’d fire you if he knew what you did all day. As always, nominate your favorite comments for next week’s comments of the week in the comments section of this post.
Choosing a winner this week was tough, but I had to go with Rotwangchung and Michelle07′s justice-related one-two punch from the International trailer post:
Michelle07 says, “I went outside the system of Justice once, just to pee though.”
Rotwangchung says, “I’d fight for Justice, but only because every time they make a statue of her, she’s got a boob out.”
Then there was The Mighty Feklahr, who beat me to a bunch of LOLcat jokes in the Hugging Lion thread.
The Mighty Feklahr says, “CABLE INSTALLED, MOAR AMINAL PLANET, PLZ”
The Mighty Feklahr says, “U NEEDZ CONVERTER BOX BY FEBRARY 2009″
From The Fresh Prince of Egypt thread:
Michelle07 says, “The license plate says Ra and it had goat in the mirror.”
From the Black Captain America thread:
JHC says, “Black Captain America’s shield is 24″, chrome, and continues to spin after he catches it.
The Puerto Rican Christmas trifecta:
Burnsy says, “On Datsun, on Hyundai, on Geo, on Escort!”
Michelle07 says, “They all put their shoes out the night before Christmas so the Chupacabra will come and leave presents in them (he craps in them).”
Pauly Dangerously says, “The only thing Mexicans unwrap on Christmas are tamales.”
In the Disturbia Gets Sued thread, Mark It Zero confuses D.J. Caruso (Disturbia director) and David Caruso (CSI Miami), but I was willing to overlook it because everyone loves making fun of CSI Miami.
Mark It Zero says, “I don’t understand why D.J. Caruso has to be so greedy. He’s got a good thing going with CSI: Miami.
*Standing over dead clown with a balloon animal stuck in his ass*
‘This guy became the butt of his own joke. But murder is no laughing matter.’” [Editor adds: *Blasts opening riff of "I Won't Get Fooled Again"*]
In The Changeling trailer thread, Pauly Dangerously points out that I overlooked the obvious joke.
Pauly Dangerously says, “Angelina would never turn down a kid.”
The Kirk Cameron one-two punch:
Donkey Hodey says, “I hear the scene in which the gay town resident is saved from certain death by staying in the closet while God burns his house of sin around him is especially powerful.”
chodin says, “You think God and J.R.R. Tolkien are up in heaven right now, sharing a beer and saying to one another, ‘Man, they really f*cked my book up’?”
And from the guys who brought you the Kirk Cameron one-two punch, the Transformers 2 thread one-two punch:
Donkey Hodey says, “I’d be the UPS van recon-bot, Brown-Eye.”
chodin says, “Every time my truck shakes and acts like it’s about to die, I always shout, ‘Not right now Cassettestereobot!’. Chicks f*cking love that shit.”
Thank you and good night. Please tip your waitresses and be sure to not clog this comments section with anything besides comment nominations or I will murder your family.
[Banner picture source = boners.com]


Hey Michelle, I got a prize for you.
*points at crotch, winks, changes Turden avatar to a chick’s boobs*
Seriously, if we don’t start getting some readers on the East Coast who have to work at 8 am everyday I’m going to throw a hissy fit.
Go to the new post, jackass.
3399 (box office) erswi nails it:
jokerswild says:
Nobody respects the gun
*flips erswi the bird*
Anywho, GenePoolParty cures my funny bone cancer in 3404 (Siskel & Kneebert) with:
Dumbass brought a knee to a binder fight.
3404 (critics be beefin’) JHC incites a rap battle.
“[Lumenick] hit him so hard everybody could hear it,” a source told the Daily News.
If they had done this shit at the Tyler Perry film, nobody would’ve heard a damn thing.
3404, my hetero-life partner Donk sets the wiffle ball on the tee and The Merovingian hits it with his dick-
“Donkey Hodey says:
Harry Knowles hid behind the jukebox the entire time.”
Harry Knowles couldn’t hide behind a juke joint never mind a jukebox.
3413-if you don’t get why this is funny, you don’t belong here!
Stone Soup says:
Dr. Parnassus has mastered the ability to silently remove his rubber glove at the very last second.
Stone Soup in 3432 blows my mind like I’m Bill Brady;
Later that day, John Hinkley called Michael Bay to say that it was over between him and Jodi Foster.
Chodin in the Coke thread
SLOGAN-
Coke Zero: Because James Bond isn’t named ‘Agent Fat Fuck’.
Cracked me up
Donk pulls my sweettooth without novacaine in 3427 with:
Vince: You got chocolate in my peanut butter!
Reese: You got dick in my brother!
3418
Stinky Peet says:
So technically it’s not a spoiler if I tell you they play Chicago’s “Hard Habit to Break” under the closing credits, right?
KeyHo on 3418, proving brevity is the soul of wit:
Alternate title: ‘Nun The Wiser’
3424 Gene Pool Party says:
Final score: Pepsi One, Coke Zero.
3413 Burnsy says:
I’d like to see a movie in which Colin Farrell and Colin Hanks take turns playing Colin Firth and it’s called Colinoscopy.
3481 – Burnsy
When I was a kid, my family was poor so we could only afford the imitation tortillas with Carlos Mencia’s face.
Second Burnsy in 3481
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3481#comments
Marky Mark it Zero-
Thats nothing. My last order at Taco Bell had a complete still shot of Cheech oustide the Tittie Twister in “From Dusk Til Dawn. I thought it was a sign, but it turned out the kid with the sour cream gun was autistic.
3481
Stone Soup says:
Cheech Marin makes my taco pop!
In 3481, Burnsy validates my condiment paranoia with:
Burnsy: “Waiter, Salma Hayek’s face is on my tortilla.”
Waiter: “Oh my, it sure is. And you also asked for no sour cream, yet it’s smothered.”
Burnsy: “Yes… sour cream.”
3481 – Stone Soup
Mexican Dave Thomas was relieve to learn that the redhead girl wasn’t his daughter. His wife broke down crying and yelled “It’s nacho baby”
Nothing to do with the post, but for Erswi’s kids names, Stinky Peet made everyone around me know I’m obiously not working.
I’d call them Layla and Eric, but I’m a big fan of ironic foreshadowing.
^ that was 3486
3486
Burnsy says:
Barack if it’s a boy. Baracka if it has knives for fingers.
Seconding
3481 – Stone Soup
Mexican Dave Thomas was relieve to learn that the redhead girl wasn’t his daughter. His wife broke down crying and yelled “It’s nacho baby”
3497
Michelle07 says:
I find it odd that none of those ‘afters’ include a sex swing.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3520#comments
Stinky Peet-
Tag line: Eats. Shoots. Leaves
3520 Stone Soup for the win – I once worked for a 6-foot tall dog. He was goofy.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3404 (Ebert fight)
Donkey Hodey says:
The overall critical reception of the altercation was fairly negative. Phrases like “run-of-the-mill”, “lacked character development”, “No clear-cut protagonist”, and “Anti-climactic” were thrown about. One critic did proclaim “That was fuckin’ awesome! Fight fight fight!”, but it turns out he was from MTV and was summarily ignored.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3455
Stone Soup says:
Vince – components that scene is clearly lacking:
1. A tiger
2. xXx having sex with some hot accomplice/spy/enemy
3. Three consecutive explosions
4. Bullet-time
5. Another tiger
6. Creating a diversion by clapping chalk board erasers together
7. The phrase “Class Dismissed”
Maybe a third tiger – I don’t want to overdo it.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3497
Rotwangchung says:
“Twi_mom”?
Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle. “T”
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3512
chodin says:
At this point, the longest lasting impression Cuba Gooding Jr. could make would be against the front end of my car.
Aimless Leon
1. I thought the whole “crossing paths” thing was very realistic in Crash. There’s only 20 people living in Los Angeles, right?
I knew you guys would have fun with this one.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3537
Burnsy says:
Kilmer’s campaign slogan: “This state ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
Donkey Hodey says:
Kilmer’s spent a lot of time in Alamogordo, just helping the city live up to its name.
Burnsy says:
Governor Kilmer promises to finally make Chaco Canyon live up to its name.
Mark It Zero says:
He doesn’t look like he’s considered running at all for the last 8 years.
Stone Soup says:
I’ve read about Kilmer’s platform. It is triple-reinforced.
3537
Vince Mancini says:
I refuse to vote for any actor who hasn’t uttered the phrase “slack-jawed faggots” in any of his movies.
3540
GenePoolParty says:
I’d rather read the VIN on my car than watch a Vin Diesel movie.
3571
Rotwangchung. Wow. Just wow.
All this talk of Jews reminds me of my last girlfriend. She was Jewish, and when I casually remarked that I had gas in the shower, she totally freaked out.
3573 (That naked chick from ‘Weeds’) Rotty again, having fun with words:
Unfortunately, in this scene, “Weed” is a past tense verb.
3573
Rotwangchung says:
Sure, that looks sexy….until the water starts bubbling.
3599 (Jason Statham) Fek explains the tattoo on Statham’s shoulder:
That screen door must have been REALLY hot!
For some reason this amused the shit out of me. I couldn’t stop laughing.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3599
reluctantflux says:
My brain just shit into my mouth.
3599 (Treasure of The Statham Madre). I can’t believe I overlooked this gem by Charlie Br0nze at first:
Boiges? We ain’t got nah stinkin’ boiges.
3599
Burnsy says:
I think last night’s main ingredient on Iron Chef was fuckweed.
Second Burnsy’s tasty post.
After many hours of hatred, my tribute to Kids in the Hall was turned on me in 3599.
Eibmoz says:
KITH is a 70s metal cover band started by those with facial deformities and speech problems
I swear to God I wish I could bake cakes with Michelle on a daily basis. Could you imagine working with someone like this?
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3395
I got a bitching Hello Kitty protective cover for my zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod
Donk scrambles my green eggs and blue balls-
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3615#comments
I’m the Dr. Seuss of phone sex operators
I’ll give it to you in the grass, I’ll give it to you in your ass. My wangle, my doodle, my schnoodle, my rod, by the time I am finished you’ll be screaming ‘oh god!’
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3615
Donkey Hodey says:
I’m the Dr. Seuss of phone sex operators
I’ll give it to you in the grass, I’ll give it to you in your ass. My wangle, my doodle, my schnoodle, my rod, by the time I am finished you’ll be screaming ‘oh god!’
Wow. Third the sexy Dr. Seuss talk.
3634
Burnsy says:
Lexi Alexander will direct Saw VI. Jigsaw will employ death by chocolate.
3599 – yeah I know it’s not funny, yet GenePoolParty has Comment of the Year right here and I wanted to make sure everyone re-visits it (do n00bs check out this thread? I’m looking specifically at that fag Vinyard and that fucktard Misssoultaker):
Seriously, though. Here’s my advice to you new fuckers:
Choose and upload a non-repulsive avatar before posting. Wait for it to appear in your logged in section. When you first start commenting, choose wisely and choose funny. Be self-deprecating and lurk long enough to realize who the backbone of this site is and give them respect. Preview your comments for spelling, punctuation and capitalization or you are going to look like a moron. You can cut corners later, but when you’re new we don’t yet know if you are one of our kind of idiots.
Or not. Try it your way. I don’t give a shit. I love a fight. And I’m smarter than you (except for you guys).
3638 Fek makes me LOL
The Mighty Feklahr says:
Good job, Casper the Mouthy Retard!
Al-forgive me for saying so (and in such a blunt manner, but I don’t want to completely foul up Vinny’s precious nomination thread), but I say “Fuck lurking”.
I have never fucking lurked in my life, and I never will. If I go somewhere and I feel like I have something to fucking say, I just up and out with it. Granted, I have pissed off plenty of people and have been jumped like Vinyard got on more than one occasion.
But that is just part of the fucking territory, if you step in on a fucking clique you gotta expect to be resisted.
Truthfully, though, why should the “n00bs” conform to OUR fucking standards? Shit, new life brings new ideas. Brings something fresh. How many motherfuckers do we need here making dead hooker jokes?
It’s funny, back when we had PM capability here, I would get a different lurker almost every month PM and ask, “How should I Filmdrunk?” I tell them all basically the same thing: Just put it the fuck out there and be yourself.
However, I normally add the caveat that people that make good funnies will garner more attention from the regulars.
Well, so much for keeping this short and sweet. Al, Gene, I hope you guys don’t feel like I singled you out. I am just a crazy fucking Klingon that plays the game balls to the wall, full throttle, with His dick in His hand.
I don’t feel like you singled me out, and I disagree. If you want to “join” a blog, you should join one that you agree with the standards, humour and topic of, not for the sake of “having something to say” – no one cares what you have to say here unless you add something of value (funny).
So there. Vince will delete these two comments shortly, I’m sure. Fek, e me on FB if you want.
Fek, I respect you more than you probably deserve, but let me explain. After I stumbled on the Old FilmDrunk, I lurked for about a month laughing my ass off at the wit and the flow of comments feeding off each other. You regulars all knew each other and how to push each other’s buttons. I felt I had to catch up to a certain extent to be able to comment in a way that didn’t disrupt what you guys were doing.
What I see with most noobs recently is a complete lack of fitting in with our zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are absolutely correct that neither you or I set any “standards”, but I just wish that a little more thought and effort went into their initial posts. When you regulars are rockin the FilmDrunk van, it sucks when someone with nothing to say comes-a-knockin’.
I have no problem agreeing to disagree, Fek. Peace to Him and His species.
FYI-I am totally cool with agree to disagree. I weren’t trying to write no laws, ROFLKOTAL! It’s just a Klingon thing, I have always hated the advice, “Lurk for a while at first.” It just rubs me the wrong way.
HEY! Take it to the Fine Drunkard’s Society, people. Leave this area open for people to agree how fucking funny MISSSOULTAKER is.
Bruns let’s us know just what the f is goin’ on on Dateline NBC with this “Freudian Slip”:
3663
Kids with aren’t cute. They’re sexy.
“with lisps”
*loathes self*
Diremutt(Crapbasketastic if you’re nasty)-
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3670
Brett Ratner’s Conan, doesn’t punch camels, he suck then off.
Don’t let the fact that he can’t spell deter you, Vince. He’s my special boy!!!
3670 – The Mighty Feklahr (he’ll always be Fek’lhr to me):
IT’S NOT A RUMAH!
If that doesn’t make it onto the list, then I am SO done with this place.
Proofreading (10 word comments)is for nerds!
3670 – Throw a dart at anything Jacktion!, Crapmastertasticbasketmutt or Chodin posted.
Any one of them are CoTWorthy.
3670? I think? Damn, it was funny (pretty sure it was Beek):
“Rhett Butler’s Conan doesn’t give a damn, frankly.”
3701 (Blood Brothers)
JHC says:
To be fair, the sequel will be called “Crip Crackahs”, to appease Mr. Lee.
Going for 2 weeks in a row is Michelle07 from 3701 Vampire Buddy Comedy –
Gene Shallot is O+ that you’ll wish this movie could live forever.
As soon as erswi posts it, The Mighty Feklahr seconds elleo’s O+ joke.
Turd Me Shell’s blood joke.
3706
Rotwangchung says:
I get it, that pic is the hound of the Baskervilles, right?
Holmes: Dammit, the dog ate my bag of coke. Has he crapped it out yet?
Watson: No shit, Sherlock.
Holmes: Well, it’s alimentary by dear Watson.
witty nickname, 3694 (condom PSA):
The Catholic version of this PSA just features a bunch of dudes dancing naked.
with children.
Three from http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3537
Burnsy says:
Current state nickname: “Land of Enchantment”
Kilmer’s state nickname: “Land of Enchiladas”
Michelle07 says:
Potential Post Headlines:
IceMan melts at the Polls
Kilmer Rouge in NM
Gov. Val Devours Local Chupacabras
Burnsy says:
When asked how he planned to solve the state’s homeless problem, Kilmer responded, “CA-OOOOOOOOOOKIE CRISP!”
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3587
witty nickname says:
My wife gave me the “Dane Cook” last night. Right as I was about to come, she screamed at me incoherently and said things I stopped caring about a long time ago.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=3685
Donkey Hodey says:
I usually walk around topless with “Jason Statham’s Shirt” written on my chest in permanent marker.