Clive Owen: The thinking man’s Jason Statham
After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for The International, starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts.
Interpol Agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) and Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) are determined to bring to justice one of the world’s most powerful banks. Uncovering myriad and reprehensible illegal activities, Salinger and Whitman follow the money from Berlin to Milan to New York to Istanbul. Finding themselves in a high-stakes chase across the globe, their relentless tenacity puts their own lives at risk as their targets will stop at nothing – even murder – to continue financing terror and war. Directed by Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run) from an original screenplay written by Eric Warren Singer, The International is being shot on location in Germany and throughout Europe. [Apple]
That was quite the synopsis for a movie whose plot is basically “What if your bank was… evil.” Look man, you don’t have to tell me the bank supports terrorism to make me hate it. One $28 overdraft fee and I’m already praying for a motherf-cker to die in a fire. Especially that 20-year-old Korean teller. There was something suspicious about her, I’m telling you.
Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip
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Eee nah mai faw yoo hab noh muhnee Lince!
“There’s no free checking where you’re going.”
“I’ve got another direct deposit… AT THE MORGUE.”
I got upset when I learned the bank uses my savings account money to fund free coffee and donuts for those assholes that go inside. I can’t imagine how upset I’d be to learn they funded terrorism.
WHAT ABOUT THOSE FLOATING WORDS? AIEEEEEEE THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!
I went outside the system of Justice once, just to pee though.
their targets will stop at nothing – even murder
Thank God for synopsis writers. My next question after somebody tells me somebody will stop at nothing is “even murder?” I usually ask it with wide eyes, a dropped jaw, and a subtle wanking motion, just to get my point across.
“My pen! That man has my pen!”
Clive Owen = The Thinking Man’s Jason Statham
Hugh Jackman = The Gay Man’s Clive Owen
Therefore…
Hugh Jackman = James McAvoy. I knew it!
Don LaFontaine: In a world where ATM fees fund IEDs…
I’d fight for Justice, but only because every time they make a statue of her, she’s got a boob out.
I think we’ve finally uncovered the bank that runs the ATM network responsible for telling perfectly sane and innocent citizens to feed them a stray cat.
Suspicious? Yes.
Nice nipples? Also yes.
Clive Owen should have been the choice for The Punisher.
I’m working on a film called The Nigerian about these bankers who keep offering me money but haven’t shown me dime one yet.
I’d take all my money out of the bank and stuff it in my mattress, but I’m afraid the monster under my bed would go on a shopping spree if I did that.
their targets will stop at nothing – even karaoke
$28? Washington Mutual actually makes me come in and give the manager a blowjob.
I told them I don’t remember reading that clause in the contract when I opened the account, but then they pull it out and show me and there it is, written in crayon right there in the margin. Check and mate.
Burnsy, You’re just asking for Spike Lee to mouth off with that title.
Banner Pic: No, for the last fucking time, I don’t want a free t-shirt or beer coozy, you asshole. I’m not signing up for a fucking credit card.
Burnsy,
That’s actually not a bad premise for a movie:
What if the 419 scam thing was true for once?
“I wanted Bugs Bunny playing sports on my checks, not kittens wearing hats! I want this fixed NOW!”
Way to go Donk! That fuckin ATM said “I CAN HAZ CATBURGER?”
I had a beer coozy once. Luckily, I was able to get out of her dorm room before she regained consciousness.
You mean that the estat of late Mr John Burnsee, the industrealis of America who die in plane accedent and leave behindd sum of $10 milion American could really be mine?
Where’s that guy at? You know the one. He only ever says one thing.
New Up!