CAINE SPREADS BATMAN LIES ABOUT DEPP
09.09.08
As far as anyone official is concerned, Chris Nolan is expected but not confirmed for a Dark Knight sequel. Of course, that doesn’t stop people from printing ridiculous casting rumors, the worst of which probably being that Cher was in the running for Catwoman. And now, Michael Caine has “confirmed” the most pervasive of those rumors to MTV:
“They’ve already got them in mind,” said Caine. “It’s Johnny Depp as The Riddler. And The Penguin is Philip Seymour Hoffman. I read it in the paper.”
“When Christopher [Nolan] said we were going to do ‘The Dark Knight’ next, I didn’t what that meant in Batman terms,” related Caine. “I said, ‘What’s the story?’ and he said The Joker. I said, ‘Oh, s–t! How are you going to top Jack [Nicholson]?’ He said, ‘Well, I’ve cast Heath Ledger. And I went ‘Ha! I couldn’t top Jack, but if anyone could, maybe Heath could.’ And he did.
“I was with [a Warner Bros.] executive and I said, ‘Are we going to make another one?’ They said yeah. I said, ‘How the hell are we going to top Heath? And he says ‘I’ll tell you how you top Heath — Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.’ I said, ‘S–t, they’ve done it again!’” [Laughs]
Anyone reporting this as fact is a moron. You can’t cast huge stars when you don’t have a director, a script, or a timeframe for shooting yet. Clearly Caine was just being sarcastic or droll or ribald or one of those other words old British people use.

Is senile a word old British people use?
What a randy bugger!
Caine went on to discuss Hoffman as the Penguin and stated “I don’t want no bird’s respect – I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
BOLLOCKS!
Val Kilmer as Killer Croc. You heard it here first!
See? Then we can call him “Kilmer Croc”! Boy, He thinks of everything!
Amy Winehouse as Zsasz!
Caine is a cheeky fuckah!
Although, that would be pretty fuckin’ gnarly.
jumps into silver Delorean and goes back to 1985
I’m not so sure Johnny Depp would sign on for The Riddler. That character just doesn’t wear enough make-up for his taste.
Yeah we use senile.
I’m sick of telling stupid people I work with that none of the rumours they hear are true. I may just start hitting them around the face to save my voice.
Michael Caine was amazing in ‘JAWS: The Revenge’ this weekend. But, he wasn’t smart enough to notice that a shark wouldn’t fucking ROAR, so his opinion on what-tops-what will be restricted to the topping of female cannibis plants so they branch out and get more yield.
*thump thump thump*
Is this thing on?
*chodin enters FilmDrunk video store*
Good morning, um- I’d like to rent every copy you have of ‘Tootsie’.
This whole “interview” occurred as a result of some dipshit fan walking up and saying “What’s it all about Alfie?”…and Caine actually thinking anyone cared to listen to his answer.
jumps into silver Delorean and goes back to 1985
When you get there, do me a favor and stop by my house. Tell me not to marry the Southern whore I’ll meet in college. Then, kick me in the nuts just to drive the point home.
Oh, and don’t forget to give me that ’08 sports almanac.
Fek, I think it’s on vibrate.
I’m feeling rather ribald myself. Anyway, fuck Batman, when do we get a new Daredevil movie?
Michael Caine went on to mention, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m meeting a friend for some marmalade sandwiches and Paddington Bear hates it when I’m late.”
No problem Soup. Matter of fact, if you point out the loose women in your neighborhood while I’m there, I may just kill that chick for ya. That way she can’t sweet talk you into marriage with “I’ll let you put it in my ass” and “I love to swallow” and the like.
Gene travels back to 1985 in his mind
Always carry a condom. Ask for a blowjob if they won’t fuck you. Stay away from gin. Invest in Microsoft, then sell it to buy Dell, then sell it to buy Cisco, Amazon, Google, etc. Stay away from the family business.
Gene ends daydream, puts gun to mouth
New Up!
That way she can’t sweet talk you into marriage with “I’ll let you put it in my ass” and “I love to swallow” and the like.
Well, let’s not be hasty – I might still be married to her had she spoken that language. To me. And not the stock boys at Macys. And the Gap. And my friends.
Nah, just go for it.
Michael Caine finished his interview by exclaiming, “Oh, and hey MTV: homeboy Freeman drives like an asshole! I’M OUT!”.
Since when did we ask old British guys for breaking news on cool shit?
If I need to know the inner workings of a grandfather clock, the subtleties of cricket, or how to hide the body of a Jewish girl I “accidentally killed” after I “accidentally held her down while raping her” upon rescuing the victims of Treblinka, then I’ll ask somebody like Michael Caine. For Batman movie news, I’ll ask a Warner executive or that Michael-Moore-only-fugly (wait, what?) looking guy over at Ain’t It Cool.
Harry Knowles’ wife is pretty damn hot. maybe it’s because i don’t see many fat Asian chicks, but i’ve definitely got a huge crush on her.
I think Jim Carey is the best candidate for the Riddler. I know he was in the crummy version and why would he play the same role, but I find it hard to believe he couldn’t do a darker/better version of the Riddler.