WEEKEND PREVIEW: AVOID THEATERS
08.29.08This is the time of year when studios dump the crap they know no one will see anyway. Don’t believe me? Opening this weekend (click titles to watch trailer):
Babylon A.D.
Even the director says this sucks. I do not disagree, sir.
College (up top)
Ugh. That is all.
Disaster Movie
You know it’s good because Kim Kardashian’s in it.
Traitor
An action movie starring Don Cheadle based on an idea by Steve Martin. If this was any good we would’ve heard a lot more about it. The best thing I can say about it is that it looks like something I’d watch on an airplane.
There you have it, folks. This three-day weekend is a great time to be outside.
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I’m hanging out at the theater and injecting anybody with a ticket to Disaster Movie with Thalydimide.
I plan on spending it inside. Inside your Moms.
If you play that clip on mute and listen to Mr. Krinkle instead, it’s not half bad.
Chino, that also means it’s not half good, too. Is it kinda like the adage, “there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob”?
Hey, you know what sucks (besides your moms)?
1. No recent comments link
2. No nomination thread
3. No PMs
I just thought I would make it blatantly obvious to the powers that be what it is I, at least, would like back, because I’m still drunk from lunch and have no fear.
However, I also have no pull, so that was a pointless bout of bitchiness and unrest.
Don Cheadle the shit!
I forgot Point 4…
…Thanks for reminding me, MST.
Al, the good news is, the people in the know know how to get messages to each other, should the need arise.
::ties 3.5inch floppy disc to Al’s homing pigeon::
Al: Point 3…since when does no PMS suck?
JHC, I’ve been sending you hemp smoke signals for three days now. When the hell are you returning my Nickleback CD?
I think Robo has it. He’s the gay one. Geesh….
I’m going to spend each day of the 3-day weekend admiring each one of my testicles.
{Looks under soda cup on desk}
Uh… nope, not it. Definitely not it.
Nope.
What is the deal with that clip. Everytime I fuck, my dad watches.
Stupidity is conatgious.
Point 5: not being able to view the wonderfully ironic Last 20 words of wisdom of every commenter anymore. It at least served the purpose of allowing late arrivals a chance to unravel the riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma of what the fuck everyone was talking shit about.
Being that Kim K is in “Disaster Movie”, opening on the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, AND fucking Reggie Bush, New Orleans is getting DP’d.
Between Crappy’s and Charlie’s avatars, I’m going to get fucking fired, and I’m a co-owner in this joint. I keep hearing their posts in my head with their respective avatar’s tone, pitch and decibel level.
Pauly, that would, hands down, have been next weeks winner if anyone gave a fuck anymore. Well done you dirty spic, you.
One day, J. One day.
I honestly wish I was ethnic just so someone could slur me. Being white sucks. Unathletic, terrible dancing, small dicked white.
Cracka-ass, Cracka!
Thanks Homie!!
Thank me with a piss boot, Hombre.
Topic #6: HTML codes are awesome a pain in the ass.
FUCK!
::shakes the dew of his lily into a mink skinned Tony Llama, slides it to P. Diggity
Thanks again Mang.
WTF? no strikeout!?
Unless Manny Ramirez in batting, Crap.
Swing and a miss….
::stabs anus for making a Joe “Cardinal cocksucker” Buck reference::
BOOSH!
…on my team…
or, Andruw Jones, or Russel Martin, or Mark Sweeney, or Matt Kemp, or…
Swept by the NATIONALS?!?! AAARARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
{hammers pencil into ear canal with Rafael Furcal bobblehead}
Did you misplace your strikeout, Crap?
(Should try harder to remember to refresh before commenting)
I will be checking out the D-Backs play against the Dodgers Saturday, Crap.
Unless HTML has been changed and >s/s< ain’t it anymore these fuckers also took away one of the longest running commenter gags in the inter tubes, the strikeout FIXED.
Cunt nugget raping yagoffs!
I’m thinking about a LAD/AZ game in LA next wknd, if things go better between now and then and there is still a battle for the division. If not, then I’ll hold out for SF and a possible win.
I think the Sportscenter fucks purposely say “D-Bags” just to see if anyone catches it. Fuck the D-bags too, btk.
I get a game a month in and I am 5 for 5 with victories at Dodger Stadium and Angle Stadium, so I’m due for a loss.
FUCK DA D-BAGS!!!
Have a good weekend people. I trust I don’t need to check your beds to make sure you didn’t sneak out. Again.
Bye, bye.
Angle is a better name than the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, so fuck you.
Later broham!
THE FAT KID IN COLLEGE SAYS, “ALRIGHTY THEN” LIKE JIM CARREY!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Burnsy, take a chill pill suppository.
May of 2007 was fucking LAME!
?
Donk’s tumbleweed stand is now open for business!
Come one; come all! Just don’t come on the merchandise unless it’s already paid for!
This is the weakest CJC meating ever!
How much is that tumbleweed in the window?
For you? Well hell, I like the looks a-yer avatar. I’ll give it to ya fer a piss boot an’a song!
Wow, RT has Disaster Movie at 0%. Fucking sweet!
Babylon AD at 6%.
I’m hittin the theaters for sure.
I am a strikethrough. Or not, if that doesn’t work.
It didn’t work. Sigh.
test(Wonders if this will work)HA! DAMN YOU DONKEY!
For all the commenters out there who want their strikethrough back, just put the whole word “strike” in-between the symbols
like soI still beat your ass in Scramble. Jerk.
DEAL!
*Stuffs tumbleweed in fanny pack, drops down a piss boot, and takes off mask to reveal: Stevie B*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_5CRnzZWMQ
Pleasa doin’ bidness.
Pauly, y’all come on back now y’ear!
Al, if you wanna compare dick sizes, step up to the plate.
Quote function works. Whee!
Having to type all of strike to
strikeoutis giving me anal spasms.{Does epic one handed hand stand jerk off to try and impress Beeks}
Ta DAH!!
Eh?
But… but it’s a CJC classic!!
Fail
I so wanna shoot my load in C-Dog’s Av’s mouth.
Wait, don’t shoot Donk. Use it as a skit for the radio show.
When these guys (Disaster Movie twerps) make movies it just reminds me of the unfunny guys that work as day traders and quote movies all day long. They made a movie of not funny guys quoting movies.
Maybe they’re some kind of meta-geniuses that we will think are funny in twenty years. Like how Mexican comedy is still like pie-throwing and fat dudes in little kid clothes.
Maybe I’m Mexican, but that shit actually is pretty fucking funny.
I’m not Mexican.
My avi looks like it’s already coming.
Careful voodoo, Al just might pull your y chromosome out through your dickhole if you counter her funnybone.
Or has the lunch drunk worn off?
Dammit, this is why I HATE the new FilmDrunk. I read a comment by someone named ‘voodoo’, which I thought was pretty funny, but can’t take a chance and say so without first checking out his credentials. Used to be that we could click on the name and see how many comments they had and how long ago they showed up. Don’t you all see that an Undercover Cop could infiltrate our society IN NO TIME FLAT?
Don’t you all see that we all HAVE to stick together? Do you see that each other is all we have? Don’t you see…what? Muthafucka, WHO YOU CALLIN’ A BITCH?!!!
you in eye tea whyyyyyyyyyy
you in eye tea why that’s a Unity
*Hands Nom a piss boot*
Stick around, we’re all gonna sing Cum-Boo-Yeah! later on.
Donkey, you just reminded me….either last night or this morning, on Oprah Winfrey’s break from man-hating, she had on Bill Cosby and some doctor, who were talking about their new book they co-authored. The point of all this is what the title of the book is.
Come On America
No comma after ‘on’. You’d think book publishers or anyone who knows english would have picked up on the absent comma and it’s potential meaning. I’m glad idiots run the world.
That book sounds like some really good avice.
Wait, it wasn’t “Come On America”. It’s “Come On People”. I guess that is more politically correct. In america, we don’t discriminate. And we only incriminate other criminals because they are moving in on our territory. I only drop dime if it’s a business decision.
Cosby doesn’t think we should discriminate about those who we inseminate. Or would it be ‘Onseminate’? Fuck it, I’m right about everything I say, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. I took a page from the bible. I ran out of zigzags.
Garçon, I’ll have what he’s having.
Nom, meet us at the CKT.
u2 Robo
Anybody wanna buy some heads?
Is this the pentquel to a Joe Pesci movie??
Robo, ask your av. Say that reminds me, I’m amused that most of our avs are screaming. Possibly at each other.
My av doesn’t need to yell. And you best be hopin’ he’s not pointing at YOU. Right now he’s pointing at Uproxx because it took 5 f’ing attempts to log in.
Maybe the avs are screaming at Uproxx, then. I know mine is.
<== WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, I GOTTA LOG BACK IN?!? I WAS JUST HERE!!!
Everything i know about Mexico i’ve learned from Sergio Leone (even though his were shot in Spain) and Robert Rodriguez movies. Seems like they were toning things down. What’s the world coming to when Mexican drug cartels can’t get along?
My avatar is just trying to be down wiff da uproxx