VALKYRIE RELEASE BUMPED AGAIN
08.14.08
Remember Valkyrie, that movie about the guy who tried to kill Hitler where all the Germans speak in English accents except for Tom Cruise? It was originally supposed to open last week, then got bumped to President’s Day weekend in February. Recently its release has been moved up to December 26th, based on "the strength of recent test screenings." I don’t know much about December 26th, but the funny talkers call it "Boxing Day."
Boxing Day is a traditional celebration dating back to the Middle Ages, of which the primary practice is the giving of gifts to employees or to people in a lower social class.
Well there you go. Hope you like Tom Cruise movies you fucking poor ass losers. Consider this your Christmas bonus.
[AICN]
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Hey I hear Tom Cruise looks hot in a fat suit…naw really ask Black Face
RDJTom Cruise wears an eyepatch in this movie because scientology teaches that Pirates were actually responsible for the holocaust.
I think it’s time for Cocktail 2.
Why does he have a portrait of Alex Trebek hanging in his office?
Didn’t Lewis and Clark sing a song about him? Want to hear it? Here it goes.
Know what they were cooking in those ovens? Hair gel. Hair gel and shaving cream.
It’s really ridiculous how a room full of half tards end up controlling a films final edit and release date.
Um, get off my lawn
The strength of recent test screenings*
*Last ditch effort to draw the "non-Christmas celebrating Jewish movie goer demographic"
what can you expect from a jewish
piratenazi who supports mind control?Michelle, imagine if it was a half a room of full tards!
My release date in every night.
Why in the fuck would you release a date?
What you don’t see in the banner pic is the tighty whiteys and tube socks he’s wearing.
If this movie was in 3-D, you’d be pretty much fucked if you wore an eye patch.
Shoulda called it All the Reich Moves.
Or Achtail.
I really hope this movie brings back that whole "attempted assassination" craze.
I wonder if the fact that this guy only had one eye, and that hitler only had one testicle, are at all related. That’s a pretty big coincidence, and plenty of people have been executed for much less.
The release date has been extended to allow time for editors to digitally remove the parrot Cruise insisted he wear on his shoulder in every scene.
new up!
Because nothing says Christmas like queer Nazis.
Did anyone here bring up the fact that they’ve supposedly found Bigfoot, and there will be a press conference tomorrow to show off all the evidence?
http://tinyurl.com/5vl6e9
Stoney, you think it’s the same people with the Montauk monster?
I’m hoping it’s real. At the same time, a Texas Sherrif supposedly filmed the Chupacabra:
http://tinyurl.com/6dsv9v
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.
That’s one Nazi i wouldn’t mind being sodomized by, only because i’m sure he has a little cock.