THE JAPANESE HATE THE DARK KNIGHT
08.29.08
It’s recently come to the attention of the movie blog world that for all its success, The Dark Knight isn’t doing very well in Japan. In two weeks it has made just $8.7 million, and in it’s second week got beaten by The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and What Happens in Vegas. Explains Japanese film critic Chika Minagawa:
“The story is very pessimistic. It has a dark and gloomy texture that Japanese movie fans do not find appealing in a ‘comic hero’ film… Japanese movie fans expect such films to be fun and action packed, for the hero to be attractive, for the villain to be loud and outrageous, and for the movie itself to be easy to understand and light.”
Minagawa later added, no tentacle rape? No robots? No schoolgirls lactating blood? It just doesn’t seem very realistic.
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When they stop eating Fido, I’ll give a fuck about what Dinks think. Fuckin’ Zipperheads……
So, for some reason, I find myself surprised that the Japanese like everything to be easily labeled and with as few layers as possible.
“The story is very pessimistic. It has a dark and gloomy texture that Japanese movie fans do not find appealing in a ‘comic hero’ film…”
So say the people who put octopi in orifices.
Fek, the only way that could’ve been better would be if it had the audio of the skinhead crying like a little bitch as he left. Awesome.
EASY TO UNDERSTAND??? Does no one remember Pokemon, Dragonballzzz, Eggroll, Toyota, Akira, Sushi, Honda, Hello Kitty, I could keep going until I run out of Japanese words here.
The Japanese did agree that Heath Redgel did a fine job acting in it though.
J-that guy officially counts as a Klingon Accountant!
Also, Lince, uh Minagawa is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian American please.
The scene in the hospital where the Joker is talking to Harvey Dent tested well with Japanese audiences.
Me no rikey Gihrenhawr.
A piture popped up in my mind of Japanese people walking out of a theater with a confused look on their faces saying “Me no rikey.”
I’ll get you next time, Donk. IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!
Minagawa has a Tenchi Muyo! themed blog. Fucking asshole.
(and yes, I hate myself for knowing what Tenchi is…)
They were so pissed, they promptly got into their modded cars and drove straight into the American Embassy. Ben Affleck could not be reached for comment.
This one friend of mine was telling me once how Tenchi was so much cooler than Fist of the North Star. He also has a Mac and is obsessed with ninjas and GI Joe.
I don’t see him much any more (unless I dig up the yard!).
In Japan, a disappearing pencil is a harbinger of bad luck.
“However, Minagawa did praise the character of the Joker, saying he was ‘kabu-kooky’.”
So the Nips prefer the rising sun to the dark knight? Whodaguessed?
Rot-I was glad that you weren’t the pervy UofI prof that killed himself.
(You are a different pervy prof)
Perhaps we could offer them some oranges to make up for this.
You know, I can’t really blame the Japs. If I showed up expecting to see “Duck Light” I’d be fucking pissed too.
Fist of the North Star was awesome.
GRRR…..FINGERHOLES IN YO’ CHEST!!!!
Hey Pauly, is dat’ da’ gay from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle?
They don’t think Christian Bale is attractive? WTF? i’d suck him off in a heartbeat! i mean, only if i were drunk and he asked, you know?
So, have they screened Batman 1966 for these assclowns, or what? DOR SHO GHA!
You gays, I’m gonna’ throw this out there: I’m fucking drunk this morning…at work.
FUCK MIKE!!!! AND FUCK PEARL HARBOR!!!! (the movie)
No surprise, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has grossed more than $46 million in Japan.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/intl/japan/?yr=2008&wk=30&p=.htm
HOLY SPAZZFUCKHATERAPE, BATMAN!
qoVlpath Him running!!! That’s is, we need to nuke the fucking schoolgirl-obsessed-slants. (Again.)
Actually, The Mighty Fek’lhr feels we should nuke ‘em every 50 years or so…just to remind them “Who’s boss.”
Are they still into disco over there?
Tony Danza?
Donk, stop being a fag and making your information conducive to the topic.
The Japanese are probably just afraid of the ginat scenes shot in IMAX.
“Ahhhhhhh, giant BATMAN!!!! FUCK!!!!”
Chodski, if being in girl scouts taught me anything it’s that their screams make it feel even better.
Archimedes had a good week on the Uproxx network.
The Japs probably loved the fuck out of “Orgazmo”.
They may not like the movie, but the Japanese hope to see “Hear Dedger” in more projects.
Do you think the Gooks went apeshit crazy when the Cracken fucked up the Black Pearl in POTC2?
Well, if they didn’t like this one, they’re going to hate Batman 3: Attack of the Liddleah, Attack of the Lildlel, Attack of the Lidllweah, awww, FRUCK IT!
Basically, what I think Minagawa is saying is that the perfect movie to the Japanese is a Brawny commercial.
New post, you retarded F5ers.
HAS ANYONE EVER SEE A FILM CALLED “AUDITION” WHERE A JAPANESE OR CHINESE (LIKE IT MATTERS) GIRL TORTURES A GUY LIKE YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE. IF YOU HAVE, THEN YOU WOULD KNOW THAT THE DARK KNIGHT ISNT ANYWHERE NEAR AS TWISTED AS THAT. MAYBE THE JAPS AND THE CHINKS SHOULD WATCH THEIR OWN MOVIES AND MAYBE OUR MOVIES WOULDNT SEEM SO DARK. BECAUSE THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH MORE SHIT THAN WE CAN. AND FOR THE CONFUSION OF THE PLOT, AS ANYONE SEEN “INFERNAL AFFAIRS” (THE FILM THE DEPARTED WAS BASED ON) YOU CAN WATCH IT IN SLOW MOTION AND IT’LL STILL ZOOOOOM BY TOO FAST FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND IT. BUT I GUESS “AUDITION” IS A LITTLE EASIER TO UNDERSTAND THAN THE DARK KNIGHT, SINCE ALL IT IS IS A GIRL TORTURING SOME GUY FOR NO REASON. BUT THATS ME.
OR MAYBE THEY DIDNT LIKE IT BECAUSE OF THE CHARACTER LAU. WAS IT BECAUSE HES A BAD GUY OR ‘CAUSE THE JOKER SETS HIM ON FIRE. I JUST CANT KNOW.
“AND AS FAR AS THE TELEVISIONS SO-CALLED PLAN, BATMAN HAS NO JURISDICTION. HE’LL FIND HIM AND MAKE HIM SQUEAL. I KNOW A SQEALER WHEN I SEE ONE AND…”
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TYPE LOUDER?