I’ve often speculated that Quentin Tarantino’s apparent cocaine habit may have finally gotten the best of him (see also: the script that grammar forgot), and today the Telegraph seems to confirm my suspicions. They’re reporting that Tarantino has cast Britney Spears in his remake of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She’s delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around. "It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She’s playing the most important character.
Yup, not a cameo, they’re claiming she’ll be playing the lead role. Luckily, if the British papers have taught me anything, it’s that English people constantly lie. Quentin Tarantino is rightfully known for his ability to resurrect the careers of those previously left for dead like John Travolta, Robert Forster, Pam Grier, and David Carridine. But giving a forgotten or mediocre actor a second chance is one thing. This is like teaching a horse to play the fiddle.
-Thanks to Sicksauce for the tip
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Call me kooky, but this bitch owes us some full frontal. Even if it looks like a goalie’s mitt.
Close the thread, Brunsy nailed it.
I got nothing after that.
Luckily, if the British papers have taught me anything, it’s that English people constantly lie
Hey I resent that. I’m no liar. I’m totaly the head of a big corporation like I said. I am 6’5 and 250lbs of pure muscle. I’m not bullshitting man, these are just the facts.
I also screw really fucking eye wateringly hot women every night.
I would like to cast Britney Spears as well. And by cast, I mean a full body cast revealing only her vagina and mouth.
Is eye wateringly the Queen’s English? You bastards sure have some weird slang.
Now I can’t tell what British people are worse at, lying or photography.
I don’t know who’s english it is. we do have some strange sayings. Pillock is a good one. kind of means an idiot. "Oi you fucking pillock."
Also fun fact of the day, the Queen is actually German.
Now I can’t tell what British people are worse at, lying or photography.
Dental Hygiene, except for Affleck.
A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant."
Remember what He said the other day about Pulp Fiction being "One and done."?
Really Affy? Ummm, Sieg Heil?!
Well, this only makes sense. The Spears sisters excel at producing inglorious bastards.
Funny you should say that Jokes, I was also born in Germany.
Dad was in the army and I was born in a UK military hostpital so I was kind of born on UK land.
man I bet you’re all enthralled by these revelations.
Tell you what though, they’re really fucking good at putting gravy on stuff.
The other two strippers will be played by Dana Plato and Mindy Cohn.
Do you mean the sheer amount of things we can eat with gravy or the actual physical act of putting gravy on things. Do you know a brit who is an expert Gravy pourer?
Native Americans ain’t got shit on the English about eating every part of a fucking animal. Some of the shit you guys eat is just plain fucked up. It’s no wonder you put gravy on everything.
Britney’s a good choice for a single-mon, tubby/doughy, white trash stripper. It’s such a stretch for her. Her acting ability will certainly be tested.
OMG, Affleck, I was made on a military base in Germany and I’m eye watering! Mostly because I’m eye pokey but whatever.
I’m having a Homer Simpson moment right now where I’m picturing the fiddle-playing horse in my head. I am amused. Coming up: the "Slave 4 U" video.
you have me to thank for Tarantino’s mind-blowingly expensive habit.
meanwhile, what’s going on with his picture? he hooks like Dan Akroyd in that NASA testing machine in Spies Like Us.
new up
The guy who took that photo of Britney – assuming he’s still alive and not befallen the same fate as the victims in the Ring movies - deserves some kind of medal for displaying conspicuous courage in circumstances of extreme danger. That has to be one of the iconic images of the decade.
hmm, something really stinks here…oh its that dead squirrel in Britney’s pussy.
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE. YOU BITCHES.