Our official movie reviewer Sexman has an official announcement: he got braces. So enjoy your Sexman-has-bad-teeth jokes while you can, you haters. It won’t be so funny once the Canadian dental health system takes over.
All that shit is finally behind me. And I can barely talk right, this sucks. But anyway, I’ll get used to them and I can finally feel normal.
Aw, his youthful naivety brings back memories, doesn’t it? I mean, not because I was ever like him, because my ex-girlfriend is about his age. And she also had braces. On her legs. I didn’t mind though. She was like that when I bought her.

Full metal jacket.
It’s like a farsighted Chinaman laying rail.
It’ll take more than braces to get your ass close to normal. Look at that HAIR!!
<Sexman bolts for corner Fantastic Sam’s>
" Next simple fix is getting a normal haircut, then a tan. "
"You bet! Sexman will be the wet dream envy of the CP girl down the street!"
"We’ll be right back to Full Retard Makeover after this! "
Anybody wanna take odd on Sexman getting a pube stuck in those braces?
And no, one of his own doesn’t count.
The entirety of the Northwest Territories are without electricity due to Sexman’s Dentist using all of the power lines to bridge the gaps.
*Pauly peruses through every Sexman post on Filmdrunk*
I take back everything I said about your teeth, Sexman.
Good luck in a lightning storm dude.
Dentists used the same schematics used to build the Channel Tunnel connecting UK to France.
I understand they’ve hired decendents of John Roebling to get involved with the cabling process.
Once the teeth are fixed, how about a fucking voice coach? "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Arrrrrrrrrrraaaahhhhhhh"
I just found this copy of Sexman’s to-do list:
1. Fix teeth2. Get tan a la C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man
3. Romance a bitch
As if the price of steel wasn’t high enough already.
You could fly a 747 between those gaps.
Somewhere erswi is shaking his fist at Lince for hijacking his braces joke.
You can straighten teeth, but Tey Ghey is permanent.
Teeth => Hair => Lazik => Post Pubecent Voice => Personality => Fail to get dick sucked even by the fat chick that really believes that spoo will make you thin.
BTK ladies, spoo really does make you thin and pretty.
This is like re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
Polio.
oboPa! where ya been? we miss you.
The Brazilian twins are back over on WL and can i log on? Can i fuck. My god, my god, why have you forsaken me? It’s a good job they don’t have boobs otherwise i’d be getting very frustrated about now.
There’s Robo. All is well now.
Beeker is looking down my shirt!
Sexman’s teeth are now an alternate landing site for carrier based Navy jets.
His parents would have to mortgage the house to get him a grill for one toof.
Sexman is still allowed to chew gum for the next 2 years.
He’d probably have better luck getting those Chiclet’s knocked out and replaced with dentures.
Seriously, he’s going to get an entire hot pocket caught in there.
Instead of rubber bands, Sexman’s dentist recommends he use two come-alongs.
http://www.lug-all.com/pages/webstrapsmall.php
He can’t wait until he gets them taken off in 2032.
BRACES?!?! next thing ya know sexman will have a finger in his butt looking for the cancer that made him so ugly
I will contact this lad and get him in touch with my dentist. He is a wonderful man.
My dentist, not this kid. I don’t know him, the kid, not my dentist.
I bet it took the entire Chicago Bears 1973 starting line to get those braces on him.
Is Lance talking about naivete or a nativity scene? Must be one of those funky American spellings.
Someone send him a case of Goobers for his next review. Gooberd teeth and annoying nasally voice will get him a couple new viewers.
Sexman: I bet all of you haters didn’t know that if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer, did you?
Wow. So sexman got braces? That should cut down on the fun making. Although now his grill does resemble some of the power-grids they have in India. Hang on a minute, I’ll show you what I mean…….. …. ……ah, found it! http://www.wark.csiro.au/library/gifs/powerlines.png
My favorite part is the Andrew Dice Clay allusion, "This is to the haters.. OH! OH!"
"Fuckin’ jerk-off Clearsil pads, OH!"
thats right sexman tell all those haters to go fuck themselves, this kids a real hero i tells ya
The Mighty Fek’lhr will say this, He wishes He was Sexman. :(