08.05.08 SEAN FARIS PLAYS RUGBY. PRISON RUGBY.

If this asshole shows up in a Windows 2000 Minesweeper movie I will personally beat his ass.

The script was originally written as a drama about a rag-tag Badmitton team, but they thought Faris looked too macho.

My own rugby movie would be called ‘For A Half Hour, tops, Strong’.

DoucheCock!

Annnnnnd Sean. 

By the way, Lance – to non-Rugby players, the sport looks extremely gay.  Violent, but extremely gay.

The Mighty Fek’lhr used to cyber guys like Sean Faris on The Sims: Ryker’s Island!

In jail, wouldn’t they call it Rear the Queer?

By the way, Lance – to non-Rugby players, the sport looks extremely gay.  Violent, but extremely gay.

Don’t worry, we’re fully aware.  Wanna wrassle? 

"Higher numbers are reserves."

Yeah Vince, but ol’ number 96 still knew how to tackle some pussy!!!
*chodin sticks out hand to slap five. goes unnoticed*

Wanna wrassle?

Yes.

I played rugby with the boys down the street when I was in elementary school. That’s how I got this scar and this scar. KISS THEM YOU FUCKING PANSY KISS THEM NOW!

Sean Faris is the poor man’s Freddie Prinze Jr. .

Yeah, that’s right: FUCK YOU SEAN!

I used to bartend and that was seriously the shittiest day of the month when the fucking rugby teams would come and sing The fields of athenry 300 times.

I’ll pass on the wrasslin.  I’m not sure if I’m more afraid of rugby players because they could easily kick my ass, or because it would almost assuredly move from getting punched to a make out session that I couldn’t escape from.

I would watch this movie if it was called "Smear the Queer".

I don’t so much want to "tackle" Sean Faris, as much as I would like to hit him with a "tackle box".

Sucks to be you Vince *cough* fag *cough*. I’m just glad that I’ve played Soccer my whole life and we have such badass movies to support us!

GRRRRRRRRRR, THE BIG GREEN!!!!!!!!!!

Hy! Y am from the Mydwest!

The Mighty Fek’lhr wonders if anyone out there even gets close to understanding what He is arriving at

…

Dor sho gha! Where the fuck is Al????

Grrrrr The Ladybugs!

Just once I’d like to see a movie where Sean Faris has to do something difficult to redeem himself and at first he can’t do it, but then he learns how to. 

You are a cruel, unintelligible God.

Sean Faris has accepted a job as writer and producer for G.L.O.W.

I used to bartend and that was seriously the shittiest day of the month when the fucking rugby teams would come and sing The fields of athenry 300 times.

Understandable. "Jesus Can’t Play Rugby (Because He’s Got Illegal Headgear)" is a much better song. 

Take it in the bum scrum!

Never Back Down actually taught me a very valuable lesson: next time a girlfriend tries to drag me to a movie against my will, I should guillotine choke that twat.

Take out a bum scrum!

I use to make fuck of the wet-back kids for wearing soccer cleats to school, but then when recess came around, those taco-folding fuckers would run circles around me on the soccer field like I was the sombrero in a high speed Mexican hat dance.

Sean Faris has accepted a job as [a Jamba Juice employee].

Pauly-intense.

I’ve got a role for Sean Faris: he plays a kid who tries to suck his own dick and we call it ‘Nearly Almost There’.

Sean Faris and Anna Faris must be the same person, right? I mean, it would at least explain why I’d fuck them both.

*chodin watches trailer*

Oh yeah, look! It’s that one guy who plays the bad guy in all those movies I’ve never seen.

chod-Whenever The Mighty One has a dream that He can suck His own dick, it’s always like gritty and sandy and stuff. WTF?

*Michelle runs in with her purple Umbro shorts pulled all the way up and her red and white striped St. Rita Rams soccer jersey on and one stripey tube sock.

Alright, who’s got my other sock down their pants?

I’m not watching the trailer, can one of you tell me if this movie includes a magical black man that teaches the out-of-control white boy how to focus all his angst into something productive?

Fek – a buddy of mine told us all about this dream he had where he had a giant dick (like eight feet long), but the entire thing had the consistency of a Cheeto.

My friends and I have since stopped smoking PCP, eating Cheetos and then fucking.

Forever Strong producer: "Hello, Nickelback? I was wondering if you had a song we could use for this movie we’re making."

Nickelback asshole: "What’s this movie aboot?"

Forever Strong producer: "Well, it’s about rugby and it stars Sean Faris."

(dialtone)

Forever Strong producer: "Does anyone have the number for 3 Doors Down?" 

Donkey, it looks really good, like "I think Faris may even win another MTV Movie Award" good.

Also, if it’s still the same way today as it was in the late 80s and early 90s (and why the fuck wouldn’t it be?) I challenge any of you fuckers to play kids soccer on a military base an then call it a faggy sport.  If you flopped there like they flop on the big boys’ field, you’d get beaten unconscious with that big jug of water you’re carrying, then wake up smelling like oranges and trying to remember why there are cleat marks all over your ass. 

I really wish Sean Faris would show up at my doorstep, so that I could shoot him in the fucking chest with semen.

Huh-? Haha, you asshole, you fuckers tricked me into saying that! Haha, where’s Ashton? Haha…

Donk, I totally played Army youth soccer and Jesus Christ, nothing scares the shit out of you like bleachers full of officers telling you to hustle your ass.

Rugby and prison?

Why don’t they just show dudes fucking and get it over with already?

Richard Harris is spinning in his fucking grave!

Pauly, it’s the producers idea of foreplay.

Donkey, you totally made me all nostalgic for pizza hut and gatorade. Who’s up for a game? I got goal.

The only thing scarier than prison yard rugby is Sean Faris forgetting to favor my balls.

New awesome post.

where did they get the Kiwi team from? they look a little lackluster to say the least.

 and i think every New Zealander (including myself) will winch when they watch (should say "IF" they watch) Sean Faris attempt a Haka in the Jail Cell.

and i also loved the no arms tackels that were going on. 

Suggested subtitle:  The Longest Tard

I’ll play defense Michelle, anybody comes into the box and they’re gettin’ an elbow.