ROBERT DE NIRO IN WHAT JUST HAPPENED
08.01.08
Not many people saw the trailer for What Just Happened the first time I posted it because the studio took it down about five minutes later. But today it’s back, so here it is again. Get excited.
Anyway, the story is that Hollywood producer Art Linson wrote a tell-all sort of memoir in which he named names of actors and talked about the problems with specific movies – kind of the way Allan Weisbecker did in some of the excerpts I published here. So then they made a movie out of the book, only they switched around the stars (Bruce Willis plays himself in the movie, but the scene is based on something Alec Baldwin did on The Edge), and made most of it fictional.
It’s like if WWTDD reported the gossip news like normal, but changed all the celebrity names to imaginary people. Call it a gentle-hitting exposé, or a gumming satire.
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deniro is becoming a big whore
So is Britney still with that Isreali guy?
that pic is great cuz it looks like deniro farted and shit a little in his pants and said, "What just happened!??"
Brendan Fraser.
More like
"…he told me 4:30. So when I went to pick it up, he said it’s not ready. So I say What the Fuck! And he threw me out of his place. I got shit to do, you know?! When that Cialis kicks in, you best watch yourself, missy…".
I think I could pretty much wrap this up in a short film titled "Hollywood is Full of Self-Indulgent Ego-maniacal Less-than-intelligent Taint-lickers Who Would Sell Their Grandmother into White Slavery and Ship Her Off to an S&M Brothel in Kurdistan Just for the Chance to Get a Speaking Part on Law & Order: Seriously, We Just Stopped Giving a Fuck."
Actually, the film would just be me reciting the title and crapping on an Us Weekly.
JHC, yup, but because of…
UUUPPPRRROOOOOXXXXXX!!!!!!!
…I can’t change it.
the bitch in the pick looks like she’s trying to wave the shit smell into her nostrals
Who’s playing DeNiro’s mole?
<=== Just heard that Hollytardland is full of vacuous self absorbed cunt trumpets who act like children with fetal alchohol syndrome, and is shocked.
Banner pic:Deniro shows how to really karate-fucking-chop a pillow in half.
I like the scene where short-statured movie star, Tim Crews, has his buddies from his non-denominational church show up and hassle the head of a major picture studio.
DeNiro "Seriously, that rail of coke on that striper was this fucking long. Believe it!"
That sucks Crap. Just thinking about that avatar makes me pee a little.
Who’s Playing DeNiro’s mole?
the answer: Brian Doyle-Murray
DeNiro: "Look, I can’t control the fact that my neck was removed during surgery".
I like to get hammered drunk, try to stick my dick up my wife’s ass, then when she leaps away, I look at her and say "What just happened?" like I had an alcohol blackout. It hasn’t worked out like I had planned yet.
::crosses fingers::
Maybe I’ll try again this weekend. You know what they say? 37th times a charm.
Banner Pic: AAAAAAAAA!
Go back to the COTW page when Vinncylance used it for a pic. I have the picture and look at it whenever I feel down.
It’s sort of how I see about half of the people reacting when they stumble on this site and start reading comments.
DeNiro: Then, once I’m balls-deep, I start slappin’
"Spaz finger" is the new "Jazz hands."
DeNiro: "I know it’s pretty but I didn’t bring it out for air sweet thang."
DeNiro is doing his "retard clapping" routine that’s always a big hit at the Make-a-Wish fund raisers.
Crap, I played Cunt Trumpet in the marching band in high school. Now I have to notify the police when I change residences.
DeNiro: Lemme show you somethin’ I learned on one of the movies I did a while back.
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta dis hat.
Dialogue in the banner:
"So the peyote was really strong and all I could hear were voices singing a song about how garden gnomes killed Jesus (to the music played in ice cream trucks) and I just say ‘You talkin’ to me?’ because, seriously, I couldn’t hear shit…and the next thing you know, bam, I’ve got a career. Go figure. Now, hurry up and blow me, I’ve got squintin’ practice in twenty minutes."
she’s snaping along to Deniro Playing "Oh! Susanna" on his knees
Pictured – DeNiro doing his best Fred Willard impression – "WAA HAPPENED?"
Pic Cap: "Sure, her ass was this wide, but she could suck start a Harley."
Deniro is playing the air-accordion.
LOL donkey hangs out on this site all day. Must be out of a job.
Friggin’ dipshit.
It’s funny that someone who uses LOL would be making fun of someone else about anything.
Fucking keyHo! Where’d you get that troll? Target was out and Wal-Mart wasn’t going to stock them because they’re to fucking stupid even for Wal-Mart.
Donk! – your ex girlfriend’s back, and she’s got some dead roses and a rabbit boiling in a pot – should we put them with the others?
Donk, you’re a two timing bitch. Next thing you know, Crap and I will be sucking Burnsy’s dick so we can be part of No Poon Afternoon’s with him.
Girl: What just happened?
Pauly: We made fuck.
Girl: Who the fuck are you, and why are you in my room?
Crap, I got mine for free. All I had to do was call out some pedantic asshole who posted in a dead thread.
Radio is a tough business J, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get
ahead.DeNiro: "I like big butts. And I cannot lie."
You avatar could give head to a fuckin’ rhino Crap.
J, it’s not like that. You gotta believe me baby.
<=== Blowing invisible rhino
Whats with all the craziness today? who are all these people? I am so confused
Pendantic – word of the week.
Donkey, I told you: Allways use a fake name when picking up queers at Bed Bath and Beyond. otherwise they follow you everywhere, even on the interwebs.
We’ve got the banner pic all wrong. DeNiro is doing one of those dumbassed spoken word things like Mike Myers did at the beginning of Axe Murderer and she’s snapping the to the beat for him.
It’s been a strange week.
DeNiro: So I called de guy pedantic and he reared his hand back to slap me like dis!
I the feel like the using the the word a few extra the times today. You gotta problem with the that?
::hangs head in shame::
Wait, Donkey told me he was picking up gay day laborers to decorate his new apartment. Why would he have to use a fake name?
Shame is me walking into the boys locker room the first time in high school
No – I’ve got it… DeNiro is saying "Uproxx?"
if by decorate his new apartment you mean destroy his colon. Then you’ve answerd your own question.
I figured that with the fake name I was using, they’d think I got deported back to Spain when I didn’t call back.
This is why you don’t dump ‘em in the river until you’re sure they’re already dead.
Very true
Very true
You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you had me decorate for free instead. I’d totally decorate your house. WITH BLOOD.
Did I mention that parrot tastes a lot like spotted owl, but with more ‘WHY!?!?!’ than ‘who?’?
New post.