This isn’t strictly film related, but it’s too good not to pass on. So Matthew McConaughey’s mom Kay recently wrote a self-published book titled (un-ironically, apparently) I Amaze Myself! In promoting the book to UsWeekly, she related this story of her husband’s passing:

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened.

“I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go!”

Kinda gross, but whatever. Just old people boning. Something we’d always feared, but we’ll live with it. Of course, she wasn’t done. She still had to explain how she insisted on him being removed from the house naked.

“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift.”

Ah yes, your husband has just died, what a perfect time to show off his huge dong. Ooooh weee! Look at the size of that thing! Climb on, grandma! Hell, everybody take a turn! Call the neighbors! We’ll have ourselves a good ol fashioned big dead horse cock rodeo!  Before we bury him six feet under let’s get him buried balls deep.  Yee ha!

[Us via PopMachine via RopeofSilicon]

In this new publicity still from Crank 2, Jason Statham has to wear a shirt, and as you can see, he’s pretty pissed about it.  Oy, wot da fock ees aw dis den? I think he might gnaw it off at any second. We may have to get the vet to put a big cone-shaped thing around his head to keep him from ruining it.

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This is the review portion of FilmDrunk. It’s a lot more wordy and not as funny as regular FilmDrunk, but then… so’s your face.

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden was released on DVD yesterday, and I watched it. Hooray for me! Just like in his hit debut, Super Size Me, director Morgan Spurlock uses the gimmick implied by the title as a jumping off point. However, Super Size Me‘s premise has a little more power. We expected to see a guy suffer through month’s worth of junk food, and the movie delivered. In Osama, anyone with half a brain understands at the outset that this guy isn’t actually going to find Bin Laden (no groundbreaking news story was ever delivered with a question mark at the end). What Spurlock does find turns out to be compelling, but it also makes you wonder if he needed the gimmick in the first place.

Spurlock spends the first 15-20 minutes of the movie basically justifying the premise, that he knows from watching Jerry Bruckheimer movies that it’s always one lonely guy who saves the world, and blah blah blah. He goes to a survival school to prepare and there’s even a Spurlock vs. Osama video game parody interlude, all set to some puketastically literal background music. It’s all very cute. Morgan Spurlock is cute. I mean, his name’s Morgan for Christ’s sakes. You want to wrap a blankey around his rosey little cheeks and stick him in your bike basket. That said, this is just filler. We know you’re not going to find Bin Laden. Get to the point. Read the rest of this entry »

So remember Rain of Madness, that whole “making of” mockumentary on Tropic Thunder? I mean, not about, like, the actual Tropic Thunder, but the movie within the movie, which is also called Tropic Thunder? If that didn’t give you an aneurysm, today’s news is that you can watch Rain of Madness free on iTunes. All you have to do is register with iTunes and promise to sign your name on the devil’s cock with baby tears or whatever else is in their terms and conditions that no one reads.

The fake director is a German guy named Jan Jürgen, a cutesy parody of Werner Herzog and his intense existential voice overs in Grizzly Man. Jürgen is played by Thunder co-writer Justin Theroux (who’s also been hired to write Iron Man 2). I haven’t watched the whole thing, but it looks like it could be interesting. Or maybe Tom Cruise just dicks around in a fat suit and everyone raves about his ability to wear makeup. Find out for yourself!  Spin the magic wheel of chance!  *speeds away on unicycle*

At this point, it’s pretty much official that any Dark Knight sequel rumors you’ve heard are total bullshit.  Especially that Cher one.  Come on, she’s like a hundred years old.  Tucked away at the end of a Hollywood Reporter article about The Dark Knight, we get the real story about the status of a sequel:

“There are a lot of us who emotionally would love to do it,” [Producer Chuck] Roven says. “But it’s really Chris’ call. Chris is the kind of filmmaker who just doesn’t think about the next movie before he has completely finished the movie he is working on.”

For now, Nolan is taking a well-earned vacation.

Says Roven, “When he comes back, we will see how he feels.”

So basically, Nolan hasn’t even decided on a sequel yet, let alone who’ll play the villains.  The next step for the studio is pushing Heath Ledger in a major awards-season campaign.

He is almost certain to win a Golden Globe nomination — and might well be up for an Oscar.

“Yeah, thanks for the award, assholes.  I’ll put it right in my coffin, next to the espresso machine. ” said Ledger, when reached for comment.