Airplane! Director David Zucker, who most recently directed Scary Movie 3 and 4, converted to Republicanism in 2004, which probably explains why the trailer for his An American Carol is premiering on Bill O’Reilly’s show.
An anti-American filmmaker who’s out to abolish the July Fourth holiday is visited by three ghosts who try to show him the country’s good sides.
The trailer describes the main character as “America’s Most Infamous Filmmaker,” and is played by Kevin Farley, Chris Farley’s most unfamous sibling. Put down that noose, Frank Stallone, there’s hope for you yet.
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He converted to Republican? That explains the loss of humor.
Complete this comparision:
Scary Movie 3 is to Comedy as Hacksaw is to ________
a) Genitalia
b) Wood
c) Kim Kardashian
Man remember when Zucker was good. Yeah that was some thing.
The irony is that even though he’s a Republican, he still wouldn’t support the death penalty for Seltzer and Friedberg.
Republicans give The Mighty One gah durchfall.
Keeping with the style of the story in which the plot is based, the Ghost of America’s Future is fucking terrifying.
The ghost of 4th of July past is missing three fingers.
The warning that he’ll be visited by the three spirits comes from Oliver Stone.
The ghost of America’s past is wearing white robes because…uhhh… he wants to look more ghost-like. Yeah, that’s it.
If you don’t watch this movie, the terrorists win.
Let’s hope America’s past isn’t black, native american, mexican, or non-christian. Cause then they’re going to be all pissy.
An anti-American filmmaker who’s out to abolish the July Fourth holiday is visited by three ghosts who try to show him the country’s good sides.
You gotta be fucking kidding me. This sounds about as good as getting a blow job from a wood chipper. If I made shadow puppets with my penis it would be more entertaining.
When reached for comment, the Ghost of America’s Future was quoted as saying, "H0ll4 @ yo boi! WOOT WOOT!!!11!1".
Is Trace Adkins the guy who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart?
The ghost of 4th of July present was late because he had to cross the border to get the hardcore illegal shit.
Bill O’Reilly in a port-a-john?
Seems about right.
The only American Carol I want to hear about is bringing up three very lovely girls, doesn’t have a job, and needs a live-in maid for some reason.
Kirk Cameron has a cameo as the firefighter who puts out the ghost of 4th of July present’s lawn inferno.
I’d like to point out that Zucker is quoted in his own trailer as saying he is the "master of movie satire". Thats like Chodin calling himself the "master of filmdrunk one liners", I mean…maybe its true. But it means more coming from Lance on a weekly basis.
The Ghost of America’s past somehow can remember anything before 1700.
The ghost of America past wishes the ghost of America future would get off his goddamn lawn.
Friedberg and Seltzer think this looks fucking sweet.
The ghost of the past has one of those Geroge Washington white wigs on and the ghost of the future has a mohawk and sunglasses.
If Kelsey Grammar thought he was only getting shitty roles from a Pro-Democrat Hollywood before…..
Friedberg and Seltzer think this looks fucking sweet.
Yeah dude, and Kevin Farley is fuckin PSYCHED!!!
"I laughed so hard that warm diarrhea leaked down my trousers and onto my GAP stars and stripes cotton socks."
-Peter Travers
The future looks so bright I want to shoot myself in the face
This is the cinematic equivalent of one of those magnetic yellow ribbons people put on their cars. Only less funny.
Unbeknownst to him, Bill O’Reilly had wrote "Meet Bill here on 7/4 at 2:30 pm for some good ol’ fashioned Choke-Fucking" on the inside of the Port-o-john wall.
This ought to teach a lesson to the literally tens of Americans who hate getting a long weekend in the middle of the summer!
My Stepdad loved Patton almost as much as he loved Top Gun. Almost.
I saw a preview for this in front of Beer for my Horses. I wasn’t impressed.
… for all those Americans who have to work on or around the 4th of July and hate that, well then all I can say is "sucks to be you"
In related news, the Google percentage for "What the fuck is a Trace Adkins" is up 938%
While we’re on that subject, who the fuck thought that Thanksgiving should be on a fucking Thursday, not a Friday? That’s fucking dumb.
Sean Hannity is going to debut the trailer for his own film, "I Love Hitler."
It’s good to see David Allen Greer clawed his way out of mediocrity just to end up taking it up the ass from 3 ghosts with enormous porn star dicks. Either way, DAG is fuckin PSYCHED!!!!!
Speaking of DAG, did anyone else see the commercial for his new Comedy Central show, Chocolate News? Like there wouldn’t be 100 black comedians I would give this to before him?
Chocolate News is original.
Sincerely,
Ass Balls
I saw a preview for this in front of Beer for my Horses. I wasn’t impressed.
I’m so disapointed in you Dr. Moose Knuckle. Being a doctor, you shouldn’t have to stoop to such levels.
Zucker converted to Republicanism because of the dream he had one night where Jive became the new official language of the U.S.
Every time a bell rings, a Republican gets a handjob in an airport bathroom stall.
Is anyone else getting a popup asking you to save a file, //presentsantivirusxp08.net when they look at the recent comments page?
Frank Stallones major obstacle is that his brother is still alive.
Shit like this makes me miss The Arsenio Hall show.
*pumps fist*
WHOOT! WHOOT! WHOOT!
J, I got a bar that told me that a download was being blocked for my protection.
The only reason Kevin Farley got this job is because David Zucker thought he was partly responsible for There’s Something About Mary.
It’s really going to pain my to burn my Exclusive Twentieth Anniversary Edition Airplane! Airplane 2! double DVD set then ram the ashes up the ass of a corpse buried for three days, rape it’s mouth with petrified shit, cut the body into four pieces and throw them off a cliff into a landfill.
Really.
This is exactly the kind of blunt, inelegant story telling that made America great! I mean they got the gays, the Muslims, and the fat Liberal guy who makes movies. All that’s missing is someone taking a chainsaw to the midsections of some hippy tree huggers who chained themselves to a forest of redwoods.
He converted to Republicanism? Not too smart there, Mr. Zucker. Let’s see if you can convert to millimeters. Oh wait, I’m just asking to be called unamerican, aren’t I?
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life".
— Dean Vernon Wormer.
Did that really have a quote by the director himself touting that he is "the master of movie satire"? That’s awfully arrogant considering this movie looks like a steaming pile of shit.