08.06.08 MOVIE PITCHES: GUIDO BEACH

Burnsy, that was no forehead. That was another knee.

BTK, the mammoth in the leather vest is Cro Bagnon, for those of you who visit Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

Burnsy,
I think he meant he blew a knee-grow.

Does the beach have to be closed down once every couple of weeks to allow the oil slick to dissipate?

If there are any Al Qaeda operatives reading this site, listen up: I know we have our problems, and we’ll never be able to forgive you for 9/11. But maybe the first step in rebuilding this bridge would be a few strategically placed dirty bombs on the Jersey shore.

Pauly,
WebMD has an article on when you should start controlling your cholesterol.
Thought you’d want to know.

Dude, I know it’s long, but the ending is the best part.

I’ve been in prison, I’m not falling for that line twice. 

Is it too much to ask for some hypodermic needles to wash up on shore with enough force to hit this crowd of douchebags?

Burnsy, I asked for a dirty bomb once in Wildwood and all I received was an absinthe and Red Bull.

It took clean up crews months to remove the hair gel from the wild life and surrounding shores.

TW, there is enough hair grease in that video to clog an elephant’s aorta.

Couldn’t Democrats and Republicans use these people as a reason to unite for once?

That dude with the funny beard must be a really big fan of Labrynth or something.
Why didn’t he just carve words into his face?
Or advertising: "Reo Diner. New breakfast Specials All Summer!"

Pauly, no shit, amn. Except for one thing. Most of these douches don’t go into the water.
For a few reasons, it’s really cold and you’ll end up with shrinkage; and, if they get their hair wet, they all look like hairy nutsack-faced ethnic types.

*chodin strolls into thread*

EYYYYYYYYYYYY, MUDDA’ FUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s no way that I could work on the set for ‘Guido Beach’, unless producers let me walk around with a bucket all day, jacking off into it from fits of laughter.

BTK, while twelvehead claims to have had two threeways in one weekend, he conveniently left out the fact that it was two dudes and one really passed out broad. GABBAGOO!!!

Erswi, what wrong with watching The Chin on Burn Notice?

You wanna fight me?

When I first moved to NY  I let one of deese guys take me out from sheer boredom. He picked me up in his camaro in Manhattan and drove me to Jersey to watch his pick up basketball game. He did not get laid, the super hot icee man on the corner did though. Heyoooooh

Twelvehead looks like a Jeremy Piven stunt-double.

I only bang dudes who chug beer on one knee and then slam their red party cups at the earth. Looks like that very last dude is in fucking luck.

Wildwood is 90% French Canadians in the summertime.

 I cant watch the video, it crashed my internets.  I think I may be better off, as its hard to clean grease and hair gel off a hard drive

New up, more bad hair.

Speaking of Democrats and Republicans- I think I’m gonna call my congressman. I want them to pass a bill to have the bible changed to instead of reading "Adam and Eve", reading "Atom and Eve". If the Kansas School Board wants to let idiots change the science books, then I get to change stuff in that bible.