Good news on the Morgan Freeman front as various outlets report that he has no life-threatening injuries, but a couple broken bones.
Freeman, 71, suffered a broken shoulder and a broken arm in the accident and elected to have surgery immediately on his arm, friends said. Business partner Bill Luckett of Clarksdale said Freeman was in good spirits. “He’s worried about his golf swing,” Luckett said [while winking and shooting the reporter with a finger pistol while biting a cigar, I imagine -Ed.]
Information about Freeman’s female passenger, Demaris Meyer of Memphis, was not available. Freeman and Meyer were airlifted to Regional Medical Center at Memphis for treatment. [Clarion-Ledger]
Can you break a shoulder? I was under the impression that the shoulder was a joint, not a bone. But I’m not a doctor, I just play one with the neighborhood children. Anyway, it appears he’s going to be okay, and with any luck, ready to star in the series of motivational videos I just finished writing, Morgan Freeman Gives You Life Lessons While Sitting on the Crapper.
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I guess breaking your shoulder would be breaking it high up on the humerous (which sounds hilarious!) otherwise it’s tearing/rupturing your rotator cuff. Which hurts like a motherfucker. Either way, he’s going to have crazy looking hair for a while. Ever try to do your hair all pretty with a torn rotator cuff. You can’t you big pansy.
Morgan Freeman, getting set to star in Broken-Winged Creatures.
of course he’s ok. he’s morgan ‘fuckn’ freeman.
Oh thank goodness. Now he can be in the third Batman movie: "March of the Penguin."
These are the dangers of Road Head.
Morgan Freeman is such a good teacher, he used his car to teach his lovely female passenger how the concept of curving bullets is hardly feasible.
Luckily, Nurse Betty was on the scene.
Nice Mauser, Morgan.
As long as we’re splitting hairs, the arm isn’t a bone either.
<== Seriously, now my regular crappy account won’t let me log
I’m pretty sure that if they said he suffered a broken scapula and a broken humerus, people would think somebody went apeshit in his kitchen.
What a fag. Real men attack curbs with their brain cases. Dedication is a sign of inner strength.
<== Seriously, now my regular crappy account won’t let me log
Sometimes it does weird stuff if you don’t have all the fields filled in – your account had a username but no email address, first or last name. I fiddled with it. Try logging on now.
HEY!!! LOOK OVER HERE!!!
what a guy
I think what really makes the motivational videos stick is the line "Why the fuck are you watching me on the crapper? Go out and live a little you lazy shit."
…ok…
I’d just like to point out that after briefly perusing the posts from today and Friday that not one of you gaving a flying skidmark where I’ve been since early Thursday.
Well done. Because I don’t give a shit about any of you either.
…no luck………….
…..Enough of that shit.
No luck. My other accounts work, and I ran through all my possible password variations.
Wierd thing, it won’t send me the password if I request it. I tested this on the other accounts and it worked, but not for the Craptastic account.
I even did a hard refresh and dumped the cookies/history.
I just assumed you were dead in a ditch with a vacuum cleaner stuck to your dick Burnsy, so see, I was thinking about you at least.
dont worry burnsy, ive been gone for 1+ month and no one cared.
8==D~~ :-(
Ya but dubs, you’re like on of those wierd cats that takes off for a month and then shows back up to piss on the car rims. After a few time you just figure it will come back when it feels like it and don’t worry.
I cared you guys!!!
Now I have a PM but if I click it I get;
Not a valid user
YOU ONLY HAVE 1 MESSAGE IN YOUR MAILBOX AND HERE IT IS. N00BS DO NOT GET MESSAGES!!! YOU NEED TO SIGN UP OR LOG-IN FIRST M’KAY
I’m getting fucked with, right?
I assume you guys think I’m dead on facebook, but am alive on here. This of course doesn’t stop you bastards from challenging me to games on facebook though. Sure, challenge the dead guy to a game of scramble, it’ll make you feel big.
The only person who doesn’t care if I show up is name "Alex A". Seriously, I’ve tried to sabotage this site by not coming here for a day, and the ratings don’t drop one bit. Sometimes, it goes up for some reason. Really makes you think.
<door explodes inward as crappy flies across room and slams against far wall with horrifing crash. gets up dusting of assorted detritus>
I can change avis on this account!
*Blank Beavis stare.*
Hell, one Drunkette knew I was in her town and she evacuated. I’d at least like that kind of respect out of the rest of you.
BTK, watched Gone Baby Gone on the plane and would’ve been upset if Morgan was dead. That F-ing kidnapper.
w00t!
VaLince saves the day!
Snatch!!! You fuckin kill me dude.
OMG you just spoiled Gone Baby Gone I’m never going to read this site again who knew the internet was so full of spoilers wahn wahn wahn
His performance kidnapped my heart, is obviously what I meant. I mean, me? Spoil a movie? That’d be rather Schindler saving the Jews of me.
P.S., Nom, sorry I lost you on Knighthood. If you had bothered to install the game perhaps the loss of your services in my kingdom would have been felt more strongly. Instead I feel compelled to leave you to fend for yourself instead of rescuing you. Also I ran out of money and soldiers.
P.P.S. Nerd nerd, nerd nerd? Nerd! Facebook nerdy nerd nerdity.
*chodin shows up to the Filmdrunk monkey bars. pulls down pants, hangs upside down and pisses straight into face*
nigga chode!
What do you mean you lost me on Knighthood? I mean, what, I don’t need to play the game to be traded around on there like some kind of baseball card you get in a box of sugarfree cereal? Or did you just ditch me? Goddammit BK, whatever you did completely sucks. You’re an unreliable friend, you know that, don’t you?
DUB DUB!!!! Look at these fucking traps!!!!
*chodin flexes so hard that he shit-piss-cums himself*
Now that I know Morgan Freeman is going to be fine, I feel even shittier about the fact that I missed the opportunity to make fun of him earlier this morning.
“He’s worried about his golf swing,” Luckett said.
When asked to comment on the condition of Demaris Meyer, Luckett mentioned, "Mr. Morgan would like to focus more on his golf swing right now".
What happened, Nom, is that I thought you were a big boy and could rape and pillage someone else’s castle in order to gain money and whores. Instead, you wandered in there like a bitch (and let me just say that the dude we were attacking was some fuckwit with a Batman avatar, so he deserved a good pillaging) and got yourself caught. I have, however, offered a ransom to your captor, because I’m just goddamn generous like that. You don’t even play the game and yet I am loathe to lose you.
P.S. The status update for that was something like "Knight Douchebag invaded the wall region of Pink Taco and seized Squire [Nominus]," because I named the castle in a creatively obscene way.
A witness to the crash revealed, "…they were driving and then all of a sudden, bam! There were fucking freckles everywhere!!!".
A pre-emptive fuck you to everyone who’s about to point out that I’ve brought the Knighthood nerdiness into the threads. Verily thou shall sucketh the loins of a thousand wildabeasts.
Well, I hope you take the ransom, cuz I just clicked on your link to add it, and I’m some sort of vassal for some fuckwad named "Murray". I don’t know him, but I’m sure he sucks. Marray is a last name. Anyone who has it for a first name is the type to get their big toe caught in the fucking shower drain.
What’s white and black and red all over?
No seriously, what is it?
" Information about Freeman’s female passenger, Demaris Meyer of Memphis, was not available [ but she's not famous, so the AP encourages you to stop giving a fuck] ."
reading about how much you guys care about eachother makes me wish that i had time to sit around all day and post with you guys.
unfortunately, quality films like this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343603/
don’t just make themselves.
If Morgan Freeman were to die, that’d be one less person for me to confuse with Danny Glover…Are you listening Ernie Hudson?
When asked to describe the crash, Freeman was quoted saying, "Well I was driving, but then i started to think about ‘Bruce Almighty’ and pretty soon just felt like crashing my car."
Morgan Freeman wouldn’t be shit if Louis Gossett Jr. hadn’t opened the door for uptight lame black men to start acting. Hey Morgan Freeman, where the fuck is your "Iron Eagle"?
so I’ve been gone for a good six months or so. Not that anyone cared. but is CKT still up and running? have I been kicked out for not paying my dues? should I care?
Officers first to the scene reported an unruly Mr. Freeman as "unwilling to accept responsibility", claiming the 71-year-old actor was busy walking around pretending to be Uncle Ben the rice guy.
cocaine…I’m with you.
An eyewitness offered little insight to the crash as he told reporters, "I couldn’t tell if Mr. Freeman was injured or not. He always looks so goddman sad anyways".
This crash marks the last time that Morgan Freeman will ever try to find Creed on his iPod while driving.
Speaking of incredible actors, I’ve been nominated for a Perry Award for my performance in Oklahoma! this past April.
YAY Jack! I don’t even know what a Perry award is but it sounds delicious.
Perry Awards are like Tony Awards for people who do theatre in New Jersey instead of Broadway.
I was hoping it was like a Joe Perry or a Steve Perry award, but I still hope you win!
It is now being reported that this whole story was a big misunderstanding. It turns out that Morgan Freeman was involved in a serious car wash over the weekend and suffered a broken antennae.
I don’t even care what it is, I am calling it the Steve Perry Award.
And it better be shaped like the Wheel in the Sky.
It had better be a battery operating award, then, cuz the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’.
or operated
whatever
You guys are pussies. Not one Bucket List or Driving Miss Daisy Joke ? Damn you…. damn you all to hell……
When asked to comment about his "Iron Eagle," Luckett reportedly said that Morgan would settle for a birdie.