08.29.08 FRIDAY FREE: FAKE BAS RUTTEN IS FUNNY

Cherry Bitch

I know what I’d do with the holes. Plug ‘em.

I’m going to paint my dick with your blood.

2 coats.

Bring it on you bastard. Give me your worst.

You were talking to me, right? Wright? Write?

The sad this is, Bas Rutten thinks he actually killed him.

Last clip: he’s just pissed because he got out his pink stroller and he can’t find his fucking Kitty Carryall anywhere!

more WHY!?!?!? than WHO?

POLIO!!!

“See people?”

Like dead people or people of the shiny-happy variety?

HAAHAAhahha ah ha ha
(pretending to know what the jokes are about because he can’t watch vid at work)
Ooooh BOY! That’s just rich!

“Why you mother grabbin’ bastard!”

So this blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a three foot salami under the other…

Dor sho gha! File this one under the “NO SHIT!” category! (From TheSmokingGun):

A Wisconsin man who broke into a number of women’s homes to steal their bras and underwear was charged Tuesday with five counts of felony burglary. According to an affidavit filed in Winnebago Circuit Court, Christopher Sullivan illegally entered the residences and took undergarments and photographs from at least five women. Later he would superimpose the women’s images onto pictures taken from pornographic magazines and mail them to the women along with other creepy pictures that used Barbie dolls as props. Sullivan, 43, told officers from the Oshkosh Police Department that the mailings were “intended to scare his victims.” One of his alleged victims received an envelope with two Polaroids, one with “three Barbie dolls upside down, naked with their heads cut off” and the other with the woman’s head next to a decapitated Barbie and the message “your head will be cut off, skinned, boiled, baked, we will have your skull on our table of sacrifice” written next to the picture.

So this blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a three foot salami under the other…

By Kahless’ Beard, The Mighty Feklahr hates you sometimes!!!

But only when you won’t cuddle afterwards.

Hey lieBro mirror your avi, and it will look like Gny. Srgt. Hartman is yelling your comments.

That dude would be a perfect publicist for the Rader Nation!

Bah! Forgive me for showing my compassionate and progressive side of my nature, but this little “article” pissed me off to no end:

http://fstdt.com/fundies/Default.aspx?archive=1

Listen, if a girl cannot ask her father or other male relative/friends and/or the male in question is too chickenshit to do it, that is just fucked up. Only fucking fundies would try to make a fucking issue out of this.

/rant

DM-The Mighty One likes the part about boiling decapitated heads. Do you still add the dash of salt?

Good idea, boss.

“Stabbing the anus. Stabbing the anus.”

That sounds too much like one of my dates.

Fek, I’m not sure what kind of site that is but I only got past the first few comments before I had to slam my desk drawer on my hand to make sure I was still living in the real world. Who are these people?

< AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
See, like that.

Bas thinks College looks awesome.

Kick to da balls, kick to da balls.

Sounds like one of my dates, Pauly.

smooches, Fek.

Absolutely true story from my ER Doctor friend.

A man came in with abdominal pain. He claimed not to know what the cause may be. X-Rays/Ultrasounds revealed several objects in his intestines. A procedure was done to remove one that was causing an obstruction.

It was a Barbie head. In fact, there were several in his digestive system. The man could not believe that this was the cause of his discomfort, as he had been ritualistically ingesting, passing, washing, and re-ingesting these Barbie heads for quite some time without issue.

He would decapitate a Barbie doll, somehow swallow the head (with hair), shit it out, pick it out of the toilet, put it in the dishwasher, and eat it again.

My friend says the heads she saw (once removed) had been practically worn down to the point that the facial features were totally gone.

{reads oneSo’s comment}
…

They’re all hilarious, and all less than two minutes long

Well Vance, we can agree on 50% of that statement, at least. Turns out our idea of “hilarious” differs VASTLY. I’m blaming it on your useless Y chromosome, the one that also still thinks fart jokes are funny.

I can only assume you’re all driving to WalMart to buy some Barbie dolls…

And dishwasher detergent.

fek No salt. High blood pressure. But some Mrs. Dash would rock that skull.
Also,
Fundies are fucking mental and should all be sterilized, or sent to one of those reeducation camps called colleges.

{FART}
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Does it require prior knowledge of Bas Rutten? Maybe that’s it. They still crack me up. This is the same guy resonsible for the Batman and Joker PSAs I put up a while back.

{shakes fist menacingly at Y chromosome}

I mean, he stabbed the fuckin’ moile!

I had Barbie doll heads for lunch yeterday, but thanks fro offering, Soup.

I knew some dudes in a thrash metal band called Has Brutten, does that help?

Careful Al Cuntress sLeisa may come over here from over there and BAN YOU!!!!

A guy walks into a hospital with a banana stuck up his ass. The doctor comes in, takes a look, and says “You need to chew your food better.”

I’d like to think that Bas Rutten talks like that during sex.

And I like to think that while ‘bating.

I wonder if those guys knew that Has Brutten loosly translates to “angry hat”?

Well I’m pleased to see that Canada has finally turned out something the rest of you consider “funny”, so there’s that.

** Hangs head in shame over Mike Myers and Jim Carey**

Careful Al Cuntress sLeisa may come over here from over there and BAN YOU!!!!

Why, because I offended her Y chromosome?

1st: Don’t forget Martin Short

2nd: BOOSH!!

Al with the BOOSH!

We gave you Canucks Dane Cook though, sooo, call it even?

Out of my mind mongrel dog!

Did you not also inflict Brittany, Kim K, Lindsay, Paris, Nicole, and countless other vacuous fucktards on Canada and the rest of the world? I’d say you have a lot more than Dane Cook to apologize for. In fact, I’d say you’re lucky we haven’t sent our army down there yet to… oh yeah, nevermind.

But, we have David Milch.

Seriously, when I get home, I’m gonna punch my milk into a hole in the ground.

Your army? We wouldn’t let your hourses cross our bourders.

Is that how Dirt Pipe Milkshakes are made, Crap?