FILM TITLES GLORIOUSLY TRANSLATED
08.01.08
Today USA Today has an article about a subject I’ve always been interested in: the re-titling of films for the foreign market. The Dark Knight, Get Smart, and The Happening became The Knight of the Night, Super Agent 86, and The End of Time in Mexico, for instance.
Titles are often tweaked to sound better in the local language, or to provide a hint of the plot to audiences who might be skeptical of what is, to them, a foreign film. That’s why Steve Carell’s Get Smart is playing variously as Max the Menace (France), Agent Smart: Casino Totale (Italy), Is the Spy Capable or Not? (Taiwan), and Confused Spy (China).
Local customs are also taken into account. Last year’s comedy hit Knocked Up was given the gentler title Slightly Pregnant in Roman Catholic Peru and the gloriously blunt One Night, Big Belly in China. [USA Today]
Ah the Chinese, so delightfully literal. Strangely, re-titling isn’t limited to non-English speaking countries, as I discovered in Australia, where Saving Silverman became Evil Woman (did someone think the Aussies wouldn’t see a movie with a Jewish name in the title?) and Joy Ride became Road Kill (no idea why what got changed). But my all-time favorite for strangely translated movie titles is The Phillipines’ version of The Pacifier, Gnome. If any Filipinos are reading this, I would love to hear an explanation of that. And, uh, sorry about all those ladyboy jokes.
In Asia, I imagine Wicker Man is known as Why is the Bear Man Yelling?
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No, Wicker Man was known as "4 Head-ings and a Funeral"
Paris Hilton pukes up her meals into little glass jars. Little glass jars? Yes, little glass jars.
She doesn’t want her mom to find out, so she hides them in her closet. Hides them in her closet? Yes, hides them in her closet.
In South America, Mama Mia is known as Slut Mother.
The Chinese also translate Mark Wahlberg’s name as "Tellibur Actol".
Titles are also often altered from US state to US state. For instance:
For audiences in West Virginia, Alabama, and Mississippi, Knocked Up was changed to See, You’re Not Limited To Your Sister.
In Soviet Russia, The Mighty Fek’lhr’s snuff film is called: Capitalist American Pig Dresses As Cartoon Feline Animal and Makes Small Boys as Girls Die.
Of course, in the USA, it is just known as "Garfield Scoutmaster".
in the hood, Ice Cubes hit Are We There Yet? is called…Uncle Tom Takes a Vacation.
In Saudi Arabia, World Trade Center is known as Try Harder Next Time.
In Mexico, bootlegged copies of Alien were sold with the title Citizen.
In Saudi Arabia, World Trade Center is known as Try Harder Next Time.
Which was actually their second choice, as Japan had re-titled ‘Pearl Harbor‘ as Never Send A Boy To Do A Man’s Job.
In Mexico, Se7en is known as Si3te.
In Japan, Cloverfield was re-titled American Too Cheap To Buy Sony SteadyCam, Monster Teach Lesson.
Si3te? Way to go new guy!
In the hood, The Godfather is known as The Godbabydaddy.
In Germany, Titanic was re-titled Hindenberg of the Sea.
Thanks erswi.
In Afghanistan, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is known as 4 Infidel Women Dogs We Burn to Death for Not Wearing Burqa. Personally, I feel something is lost in the translation.
In the UK live free or die hard was called Die hard 4.0
That’s not funny, it’s just a fact.
In Japan, Lost in Translation was retitled How To Am Properly Program VCR In Manner of Recording Devices.
In China, Legally Blonde was re-titled Vapid Blonde Smarter Than You, and used as a training film for six year olds studying advanced calculus.
In the Middle East, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas is known as How Americans Look at you on your Vacation.
In Germany, Valkyrie will never be known as anything.
In China, Iron Man was retitled "American Job Opportunity".
I only hope those red bastards get it right next time and title M. Night’s next release "Chinese for Shit."
…or maybe just integrate their population control tactics into the film industry.
In Armenia, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was released as Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
I have no idea what that means.
In Saudi Arabia, Disaster Movie is called Just in Case You Needed Another Reason.
in the interweb, Blue Thunder is called Rofflecopter
In England, Braveheart was known as Bulshit.
At our house An American Tail became known as White Hot Piece of Mouse Ass.
you know how we roll. awwww yeah.
Die Hard 4.0 might actually be a better title.
In every theater I’ve seen playing it "The Happening" was retitled by people walking out through the lobby as "What the fuck was that? I want a refund."
At least that was my pet name for it.
In Poland, most American movies are given the generic title "You’ll Need To Watch This Again."
’cause they’re dumb, get it? That’s right – all Polish people. Dumb. I went there.
In Korea, Beverly Hills Chihuahua is called Dinner Talks.
In Vietnam, Lassie was renamed "Breakfast at Trong and Ngy’s".
White Hot Piece of Mouse Ass
ROFLMAOANLKOTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In Africa, UHF is called WTF!
In China, Boogie Nights was re-titled It Fake! It Fake!
It’s no fucking wonder that we keep winning Peabody Awards for Excellence in radio broadcasting Donk.
::hetero ass slaps Donk::
That is what He was trying to say the other day, Stoney…there is no way a human penis really looks like that!
3" is like average, right? Or did He say 4 last time…
Donk & J in the morning will be right back, after we tie up C-Dog for handing us both copies of the same script.
In Soviet Russia, Get Shorty was re-titled Shorty Get YOU!
In Rome, it’s known as The Ten Files: I Want To Believe.
In Compton, Flags of Our Fathers is known as Cracka-ass Crackas doin Cracka-Ass Shit.
Vince, do you think the tag ONE NIGHT BIG BELLY is really going to get another entry?
On the Navajo Reservation in the Black Hills, Dances With Wolves was re-titled, "Gimme a fuckin’ break".
In Russia, Miracle is known as We Only Lost Once, You Assholes.
I thought the Japanese translation of Pearl Harbor was All of their Aircraft Carriers are Missing.
Vince, do you think the tag ONE NIGHT BIG BELLY is really going to get another entry?
He’ll know in three to four weeks when the mouth swab results come back from the lab.
In China, Live and Let Die was renamed "It depends on your gender".
In Louisianna, Roots is still referred to as Good Times, Good Times.
In Holland, it’s Mr. American’s Opus.
In Botswana, Jurrasic Park was known as Botswana.
In New York, Top Gun was retitled, The Ambiguously Gay Duo!
Dammit Stoney! The Fuck are you doing giving our secrets away. Just cuz you were married to a coon-ass doesn’t give you the freedom to go blabbing all our shit all over this here new-fangled com puter box thingamabob!
In Morocco, Casablanca was just called Here.
My mother in law heard a promo on tv for Mr. Holland’s Opus and she said "Mr. Hole is Open?"
If I was a porn director I would have been all over that.
Also, in Louisiana A Few Good Men was re-titled What’s Wrong With Beating a Man To Death For Dragging The Whole Damned Platoon Down? Fucker Deserved What He Got.
> I thought the Japanese translation of Pearl Harbor was All of their Aircraft Carriers are Missing.
I thought it was All Your Base Are Belong to Us.
In China, Tank Girl was renamed "Tiennamine Square 2- Erectlic Boogaroo",
In China, The Empire Strikes Back was retitled Robot Dog Ice Fight
Due to a bit of a translation mix-up, not many people in England went to see The Fucky Dog.
In urban areas Anaconda was called DAMN! THATS A BIG FUCKIN SNAKE! and I believe shortly after Snakes on a Plane came out it was retitled, THERE’S MUTHA FUCKIN SNAKES ON THAT MUTHA FUCKIN PLANE!
New ballzey post.
In Kazakhstan, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was re-titled We Don’t Have An Annual Running Of The Jew. It’s Bi-Annual.
> I thought the Japanese translation of Pearl Harbor was All of their Aircraft Carriers are Missing.
I thought it was All Your Base Are Belong to Us.
HAHA thats perfect! love it
In North Korea, 101 Dalmations was known as The Man With the Golden Gun, which was very confusing for Roger Moore fans.
In China "The Manchurian Candidate" was called "All Candidate." Then it got remade and retitled "We no rikey brack man intelfeling with all candidate."
In my head License to Drive was retitled, Mothfucking Corey Haim is an Insufferable Brown Rod Sniffer.
In Denmark "Die Hard: With a Vengeance" was retitled "Die Hard – Mega Hard"
No joke… :-(