FACEBOOK THE MOVIE
08.28.08Famous movie and TV writer guy Aaron Sorkin recently announced his plans to make a Facebook movie. It may sound like a crazy idea, but not to the billion people who’ve already uploaded videos on YouTube titled “Facebook: The Movie”. Sorkin, who last wrote Charlie Wilson’s War, released the statement via, what else, Facebook:
I’ve just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about how Facebook was invented. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I’ve started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she’s been dead for 33 years.
And that joke’s been dead for 10.
I honestly don’t know how this works, which is why I’m here. If anyone has any questions I’d be happy to answer them as best I can. If anyone has any comments I’m glad to listen. And if anyone has any Facebook stories I think they might be helpful.
So there you have it, a Facebook movie. I guess the writing is on the wall! Get it? Writing on the wall? You know, because on Facebook… … Whatever, I was leaving anyway.
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I’d like to hit Aaron Sorkin’s face with a book. Wait, no, a brick.
I’m guessing Knighthood is like “A Knight’s Tale” but with an up to date Heath Ledger.
Sorkin has been dead to me since he left as Exec. Producer of The West Wing.
The first time Aaron Sorkin asked what Facebook was, someone should have picked up a copy of the Manhattan yellow pages and used it to shatter his orbital bone.
…. or, you know, what GenePoolParty said.
See kids? Cocaine is bad, it makes you an idiot
“I’ve just agreed to be paid a fuckton of money to do something. I figured my first step would be to know what that something is.” This is a brilliant strategy. This only works with a lot of money.
“I’ve just been hired to manage a McDonalds. My first step is to find out what a McDonalds is.” See? that doesn’t make sense.
When is “Myspace, the Musical” gonna get picked up?
I really hope he gets poked in the process. By a large black guy with a PCP problem.
I can’t wait to see a movie about some fucking kid half my age who is now a bajillionaire for ripping off someone else’s idea.
*** Earthquakes put me in a foul mood ***
I will ignore this app.
“Welcome Aaron! Rotwangchung sent a ‘Go Fuck Yourself’ invitation.”
Reminds me of Obama running for President.
I’d be more interested if this movie was called “Facefuck”.
In related news, I’m working on a script for the “Adult Friend Finder” movie.
I think I just joined the “Never going to see this movie” group.
Breaking News: Upon learning what Facebook is, Aaron Sorkin has left placed himself in a human canon aimed at the sun.
I’d be curious to know what the Guy_Who_Yells_Fuck_At_Shitty_Movies says about this film.
“Yeah yeah, we fuckin’ met Tom!”
You know who has a good Facebook? Hannibal Lecter.
Kevin Costner heard of this concept and is now making a documentary about geographical linguistic differences.
Aaron Sorkin’s current list of user-submitted facebook stories:
- I got drunk and peed myself
- I banged this chick, then she got an abortion and we don’t talk anymore
- I’m 12 and going to me “sexkat5″ tonight at his house to drink hard cider
- I only have 2 facebook friends, and I cut myself when I’m alone at night
I imagine Myspace: The Movie would be just like walking through Amsterdam’s Red Light district. “Yeah, sure I wanna be your friend!”
So should I have not added Aaron Sorkin as a friend on the FilmDrunk fan page?
meet “sexkat5″… fucking kebrd
Yet, the story of Craigslist’s “Casual Encounters” goes unheard.
The movie status is: In production, but it’s complicated.
The more I think about it, the more this makes sense. Facebook is just like The West Wing – filled with fake people making proclamations that they pretend are important.
I submitted the following Facebook story: STUPID PRIVATE PROFILES! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE A GIRL’S PRIVATE PHOTOS YOU FUCKS?
I can’t wait until the first photos from the set come out and all the asshat gossip reporters out there use the headline “Facebook: the Movie Has Been Tagged in a Photo!
And coming soon, Facebook 2 – Jailbait
This movie’s status message is “suckS”.
I’ll be writing the script for Ashley Madison: The Movie under a pseudonym, of course.
Friends’ Updates: Facebook: The Movie has just joined the group “Movies That Suck.”
George Lucas has been hired as a co-exec producer and decided that widgets are actually furry alien creatures that inhabit the world of Applicatia and shoot lasers from their seven nipples.
Facebook: the Movie and Disaster Movie are now friends via the “Movies that Make me Wanna Kill People” tool.
I want to learn more about the Hot Christian Singles.
Pauly, is that Donkey Lips in your avatar?
Yes, it is. Maybe I should switch to Budnick and let you have it….
Nah, he and I had a falling out. He refused to salute my shorts.
New up, forshak-hut dwelling yIntaghs!
Facebook: the Movie has stolen $10 and 2 hours from you! Slap, Throw a Sheep at, or Tickle Facebook: the Movie.
Does this movie have an official website yet?
Aaron Sorkin should go ‘poke’ himself in the gut with a sword. In Japan they call it sepuku.
“Aaron Sorkin is out of good ideas.”