If there’s one thing Dane Cook and I can agree on, it’s how much the poster for his new movie My Best Friend’s Girl sucks. Recently, Dane even devoted an entire Myspace blog to the subject – OMG, I’m gonna give him so many Kudos for this! 3====> – - – (|)
I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.
-Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with 3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations.
-The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ vagina.
-My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.
-Hair: It’s actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin’.
-Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching. [Source - and I recommend reading the comments]
I agree on all points. What I think happened was that the people making the poster decided to make it deliberately bad in order to warn others away from watching it, and that way they could morally justify their collaboration on such a shitty project. "Hell yeah we made bullets for Hitler, you couldn’t hit a Jew from three feet away with those crooked pieces of shit," they seem to be saying.
UPDATE: As commenter Donkey Hodey discovered, a Dane fan known as "The Art of Punk" went ahead and made a corrected poster. Very clever, I’m sure you’ll agree.
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/only-god-forgives-poster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/star-trek-into-darkness-alice-eve-chris-pine-150x150.jpg)
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Personally, I think what makes the poster shitty is the fact that of all the elements of the poster, the plant has the most acting chops.
Dane goes on to say "I suggested a 3/4 profile of my face, shot in black and white with a tag line scribed on my cheek. THIS is something we haven’t seen before."
hahahaha, A britney Spears Vagina joke. This guy is SO on the ball.
How does he come up with this shit so quick?
We sold crooked bullets to the nazis, and in return we got Van Braun. We’re a fucking ripoff.
It’s good to finally see Dane Cook admitting that he looks like a vagina.
I would pay $8.50 to see the left side of Dane Cook’s face melting off of his skull.
Dane thinks his face looks like it’s sagging, but that’s how he actually looks. His problem stems from the fact that being retarded, his head is naturally tilted to the right and whenever he looks in a mirror, it appears to him that his face is normal.
Alec Baldwin thinks Dane Cook is a thoughtless little pig.
@Gene: That’s all you would pay? I might be willing to go into the $20-$30 range. Maybe more if it was an auction for the last ticket.
…and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.
Yeah, you’re an artist, Dane. Seriously, fuck him and fuck 21-23 year old me for encouraging him.
Someone would have to pay me to watch anything other than a snuff film with Kate Hudson in it. God, she’s an awful actress, takes horrible roles, and has smaller boobs than I do.
Times are tight here in Detroit.
VaLince, how could you leave out the first paragraph of his blog? He explains everything — it’s an edgy comedy with a dash of romance and it’s the funniest film he’s done! Sign me up twice.
Have some spagetti you’re very rude.
Fuck Burnsy!
i didn’t mean that
Filmdrunk comments > MySpace comments
You guys want to know why I hate my name so much? Read his blog comments.
Kate Hudson’s best acting job was when she pretended to be upset that Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide.
Although "Dana" does serve up a wicked burn on "[|] Ashleighhh"
Did anyone else see Mr. Brooks? Oh God, it was actually pretty good.
Don’t get me wrong, we should still BTK him.
Unlike ViLance, I don’t hate all of you and definitely would NOT suggest reading the comments on Dane’s Blog. I think I’ve found the one comment that best sums them all up by <3 Lexi:
wow. i am def going to go see that movie now lol. as u probably figured, im a big fan. (not literally ofcourse) =] im actually normal, or average size. i love ur work, and especially ur movies. it wud b soooo awesome if u left me a pic cmnt or something (i kno fans probably ask u that kind of stuff al the time) but since im the frist cmnt on ur blog, i shud b rewarded lol. dont u think. god bless u. (i think of ur skit on the athiest everytime i say that now btw) and good luck in the future. <3 Lexi. Vero Beach Florida.
Damnit, you have to subscribe to his blog to comment and I just can’t have that stink on me.
I am clearly posting on the wrong site. There is some serious dumb pussy on that site just waiting to be harvested. By which I mean, I need to go prep my thresher.
Edgy comedy would be when we get to stab him
Dane Cook fans=Cunts
I think Commenter tracey has the best profile pic.
Seeing as I may never have kids because of my inevitable chemical castration, I implore the Drunkards with L’il Drunklings to raise your kids with the greatest of care and compassionate discipline. Don’t let them become Dane Cook fans like I once was.
I don’t remember girls being quite that dumb 20 years ago. Does the MySpace suck your brain?
also looking for self confidence using a Myspace crowd is fucking sad.
fleckwa, Tracy and Devyn make my balls quiver.
But seriously, **Daniellelee** should get her shit together, otherwise I won’t call her the next day.
Jason Biggs looks like a guy I work with at the Olive Garden. Dane Cook is the obnoxious douchefuck who we would ignore as he pleads for more endless breadsticks. Jason and I would probably spill our semen into Kate Hudson’s chicken alfredo.
Who gives a shit what some one on Myspace says.
Apparently this movie will sell 788 tickets.
My fucking head is pounding from trying to decypher that Myspace word scramble. What the fuck is wrong with people? Or should I say, "WTF iz wrng w/p30p13? lolololololol". Fuck me in the goat ass.
/crusty old fuddy duddy
Ashlee went ahead and corrected the poster for Dane. After seeing this, I’m pretty sure she’s a FDer. I mean, how could she NOT be with comedy chops like that?
[i22.photobucket.com]
JHC, if by goat ass you mean M1n-E MeDat3ra3n D0nkE
$TizzA$$-R.I.P.mY HoMEE $qu33ZeboXX
Doc, I swear to Christ I can’t read what the fuck that says. Vince, Squeez was fucking magical on the tables, brah.
$TizzA$$-R.I.P.mY HoMEE $qu33ZeboXXThanks for pasting that in here. Made my day. Squeezeboxx. Yeah, that’s fucking awesome.
It’s all gravy. Think of my comment as the Alec Baldwin of this thread.
JHC is my HoMEE.
Who’s down with JHC? Every last HoMEE!
Jason Biggs’ MySpace name is *$*B1gG$DaDDEE~DOLLAZZ$$$MaKe$UHOLLA!*$*
No wait, it’s Cocksucker McGoo.
So THAT’S what McG is short for.
I’m so lost in this thread.
I think everyone’s funny ran out. Vince…..
Yeah, Dane Cook will do that to you.
Does this count as the daily retard update? I’m hoping not.
On that note, we can rejoice because Tropic Thunder opens today. Hear that? That is the sound of Peter Travers ripping out his ass hair from the hilarity.
Do you think Squeezeboxx knew that his handle was a nickname for the accordion? I like to think he did. You know, trying to bring some polka culture to the hood.
::spills amaretto laced coffee on ground::
Tracy has "something of the night" about her. I call dibs.
This is how he performs it though:
-The left side of my FACE seems to be MELTING OFF MY SKULL. I guess I am looking directly into the ARK OF THE COVENANT (exasperated look)??? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here???? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ VAGINA!
-My character is sporting a VERY high collar I mean DAMN they should be SNOW CAPPED at that altitude! (crazy gesture) It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe (rolls eyes with a sarcastic glance at camera 2). An OLYMPIC POLE VAULTER would have a tough go clearing that collar!! I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls (half-laugh, self-satisfied grin).
-Hair: It’s actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin!!(at this point DC shits himself).
New Up!
Jennie says: "too funny…oh how u tickle me!!! in the lil places where one can’t physically be tickled! lol whatever the movie is, i’m sure it’s gonna rock! hey somebody has to get a break somewhere to get out there! whoever did it is pobably crying now! we, ur fans look forward to some new work from ya! take care!"
~Sandi~ says: "OMG!
you really are friggin’ hysterical!!!
thanks for making me laugh so hard i can barely type now…tears and all!
you rock!!!
mwah!!!!
;-)"
*LEONARD* says: "OMG that is fucking funny. i agree when did you began the love affair with hair? lol lookin foward to watchin it looks GREAT!!!!"
once again I have to wonder how it is that China hasn’t taken over the country yet.
So Dane is pissed because they made him look like a droopy snatch to cover up his fucking Bostonian dipshit baby rapist look?
Dane Cook . . . Myspace blog . . .
That’s retarded.
Narcissism = you know what; i.e., Dane Cook is so gay.
For anyone who didn’t heed the advice to read the comment on Douche Cook’s myspace, here’s what you missed out on:
"I cant believe how one person could be so Halarious, over the littlest things.
My friends and I dont even listen to the Radio in the Car we have all your cd’s and we just Roll out listening to Dane Cook So the WHOLE world can hear! :]
Again, I absolutley love your work as a comedian and an actor, I Cannot wait for this film to come out! Did you ever think you would Everr get this far as an Actor??
We think your a Amazing Dane! Keep it up..♥ Your Favorite West Georgia college Girls."
Posted by Ashleighhh on Aug 12, 2008 4:20 AM
Jesus. Herbert. Christ.
Good to know they’s keepin’ up’ them edjumacation standardsis prackteesesdown in West Georgia. The South Will
RiseRoseRaizeRise Again!! Halarious!