WATCHMEN COVER FEATURES DICK BULGE
07.31.08
The latest Empire magazine features two covers from Zack Snyder’s Watchmen adaptation, one of which presumably required Billy Crudup to get a bikini wax. His character was created using motion capture CG though, so how much of that is his actual crotch is debatable. I’m not sure what’s hotter, the thought that I’m seeing Billy Crudup’s actual crotch bulge, or a sweaty basement full of Korean teenagers lovingly animating Billy Crudup’s dick bulge. Oh boy, daddy needs a cold shower.Scintillating bonus footage from Comic-Con
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I’ve always wanted to be in a gang bang with the Blue Man Group.
Watchmen? More like Crotchmen! Dor sho gha.
If Watchmen is the Citizen Kane of superhero movies, I guess that makes Meteor Man the Blank Man of superhero movies.
Let’s take a picture so we can always remember the day we spilled the blue paint..
Sorry, Fek, but if ever a post was crying out for that line…
look its a cover of Gay Superhero Monthly!
Crudup’s crotch will also star as Limpy Smurf.
Judging by his choice of duds i guess Dr Manhattan is of Italian descent.
I wonder if Orson Welles ever thought his best work would be qouted just above a huge, steaming pile of cock and balls?
Surmising from the last Watchmen thread and this one, Dr. Manhatten has an assless speedo. Homophobic Turtle’s head just exploded.
Sorry? IT WAS PERFECT!
You can’t spell WATCHMEN without TEH GHEY.
Nite Owl has dem shades on so you can’t notice him staring at the glowing man’s ass and bulge. GUY’CHA!
DAMN, the dad from Supernatural got fucking hot!
This movie was better before it was being made.
Dick Bulge will be the snuff-spitting, Toby Keith-listening, former marine drill sergeant police detective in 4ustin Powers.
Played by R. Lee Ermey, natch.
Let’s huff the paint thinner so you remember less about me taking pictures of you.
Bah! We all knew that kid was in trouble the second the old man had him in the shed!
Here’s a sucker, kid, go tell your problems to a psychiatrist in 15 years!
Jesus Christ, it looks like Billy Crudup has an orange belanda monkey nose in a leg lock.
So I guess keeping yourself well groomed does add the "optical inch"!
Then again, blue guys do have a reputation for being well-endowed…
Anyone else see that blood? I think Billy needs to pay a visit to the urologist.
Is the dick bulge really a sled? I don’t fucking get it.
I knew I shouldn’t take photos while I was practicing my new cryo-masturbation technique.
I must have something wrong with me, becuase I honestly couldn’t give a rat’s ass about this film.
Who knew the Watchemn wore Jockeys?
Aha! I can’t spell. That’s what’s wrong with me.
Pay no attention to the retard in the corner.
Is the dick bulge really a sled? I don’t fucking get it.
Asshole. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah, because you didn’t email it to me before I put this up. Dick.
He just looks like what Clu from Tron looks like naked.
Whoever filmed that needs to go back to the Zapruder school of butt-camming.
Guys, the butt-plug’s name is "Rosebud".
I only read Empire magazine when I’m not reading lower back tattoos.
I think it was awfully nice of Madonna to let Empire magasine Photoshop Billy Crudup’s head on her body.
The Owl guy is eye fucking the shit out me.
Look at him! Fucking look at him!
Yeah. I know you want it. You want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Lord Humungous pop.
I slipped and fell in a creek and got Crudup my ass crack.
I think his crotch just winked at me.
I think his dick buldge has a six-pack.
Whenever I cum, I usually always shout "WATCHMEN!!!!", but then it’s followed by, "No seriously, all you guys: watch this! Hey boys! Hey, you men, WATCH!"
Look at the arm veins on that guy…I bet he works out!
<===== just noticed a blue glow coming from his girlfriend’s vagina.
You have to pretend I have crap‘s avatar for that one.
My favorite superheroes were the SWATCHMEN, but they tragically faded away sometime in late September of ’95.
*Channeling Bex, who can’t be with us thanks to Uproxx*
Happy Birffday Nom!
I want to fuck Keira Knightley!
*Donk stops channeling, falls to the floor sweating*
hey, you guys see my awesome dick bulge there?
His dick probably looks like a glowstick you’d see at a rave.
yluaP you’re a farging ice hole.
With those vinyl stockings, chaffe girl can wade through Crudup to her thighs and not get soiled!
See Hefty Smurf, there? That is what will happen to YOU, Paris Hilton, if you don’t get off that blue junk in the little glass vial. A little glass vial? Yes, a little glass vial.
Well, except you will look like a glowing Cravity Creep, or something, because of all your Herp and AIDS and shit.
He looks like he’s trying to work up the nerve to ask the chick on his right for some help with his blue ball problem.
Crap, why you miserable cork-soaker!
Once you go blue, that’s all you’ll do!
When the slurry pond from the coal mine overflowed the damn the small town of Shitsplat, Va was inundated with debris. Said one resident, "Der was Crudup to yer nipples on Main St."
This shit looks like what the Village People would look like if they dressed up like Superheroes instead.
His superpower is to hold off ejaculation for a really long time.
I’m just going to go out on a limb here, but I’ll bet that you wouldn’t need a blacklight to spot which hotel bed he was using…
That guys dick looks like a giant teardrop of dork.
Nice try with the dot on the forehead, blue man. If you really want people to look at your face though, you’ll put on some fucking pants.
My sump pump went out during that last big T-storm and the basement got filled with Crudup to my knees.
<runs off shreaking gleefully wielding big stick looking for dead horse to beat>
With a dick like that, there’s only one villian you could battle: abstinence.
I propose that if we are gonna have terrorists attack us again that they target theaters showing this on opening day. There will that many less people on X-Box live kicking my ass on Halo 3.
Lexi Alexander’s Punisher pours bacon grease down the drain because she doesn’t believe that it will Crudup the pipes.
BOOSH!
Depending on which eye you close, if you look at the dick bulge through 3-D glasses, you’ll either see a purple dick, or nothing.
New up, Crest Kids!
Billy Crudup will officially be announced as the spokesman for Tojan’s new glow in the dark magnum condoms
"Little Boy Blue".
He needed the money.
You gotta wonder who’s bigger, Doc Manhattan or the Silver Surfer. Surfer free balled it though.