WATCH THE ‘HELL RIDE’ TRAILER, PUSSY
07.10.08
Watch the red-band trailer for Hell Ride after the jump.
Starring Vinnie Jones, Michael “Yeats” Madsen, Dennis Hopper, and David Carradine, Hell Ride is writer/director Larry Bishop’s biker movie homage to spaghetti westerns. And by that I mean it’s a movie that looks like something Tarantino or Rodriguez would’ve made, and that’s probably why Tarantino put his name on it. It opens August 8th.
I’m not sure if this is something I’ll like, or a contrived, cartoony mashup of things I’m supposed to like. I mean, I’m all for a movie full of guns and tits and stuff, but not if it’s gonna call me a fag and chuck beer cans at my head when I try to watch Bravo.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Spider-Man-150x150.jpg)
Who you callin a pussy? Oh, Fek? Alright then, that’s OK.
Erswi-more like PUSSY LIQUOR!
Yay tits. I like tits.
coming out 8/8/8 on the ‘Ocho’, by any chance?
Ecstasy of Gold Bond Medicated.
Nice fek. I like it. Alright then back to work for me. I’ll be back on semi-regularly once I get my computer issues at work fully resolved and can reload Feirfox. Until then, Drunk On.
Fuck
YES!
This appears to be footage taken from Kill Bill movies and spliced together during a QT white-out.
Yeah, I’ll see this. Worst case scenario is that it’s corny. Tits make up for corny.
So which one’s ‘The Good’ ?
They got plenty of The Bad and more than plenty of The Ugly.
I’m at a loss here…
Confusing this with "Death Race", I kept expecting to see Ian McShane in this clip. Certainly getting creative with their movie titles, aren’t they.
This movie is everything my Dad should be.
Looks like Michael Madsen already ate all the spaghettie out of the western.
*spaghetti
Donk, will tits make up for my turds? I’m just trying to use the right logic here
hey Balfour, why the long face?
your dad may be closer to this movie than you think, sonny boy.
Pd,
Assuming your turds are real and spectacular, nothing will make up for them.
Well, maybe some shiny htings. And by shiny things I mean clitoral jewelry.
Preferrably on, of course…
Dad, your back from getting those ciggerettes you said you were getting in ’89?
Is that the douchebag from
Double DragonKangaroo JackMom and Dad Save the Earth24? I fucking hate that guy, so when I see this I’ll hold up my autographed 80×100 of VaLince’s thumb when he’s on the screen.yes…i’m back…but only to say hi to your whore mother.
i left my ID at the store, so i’ll be right back.
Pauly, I’m going to give you one guess as to which I’d rather have in my mouth right now. That should answer your question.
Burnsy, don’t let that guy deter. We could always have him killed.
2 turds 1 Donk?
He’s like the Scottie Pippen of acting, only no talent and just a freakishly long nose and face.
Sorry, Pauly… wrong answer. You don’t even get the boobie prize.
"HEY MANCINI, THINK FAST!!"
i think his name is ‘justin’ in every role he plays, too, burnsy…maybe that’s his real name…didn’t like him when he appeared in 6 feet under, don’t like him now. actually i did like him in the remake of texas chainsaw massacre.
I think that me, Lance, and Straight Dave should totally have a party for the new season of Project Runway!
Wow, what a lineup. I guess Crispin Glover’s phone was off the hook when they called?
I wanna come! I can’t get enough Top Chef too. Shear Genius is ok, but not my fave.
::snaps fingers in circular motion followed by Sammy Sosa finger kiss/chest punch::
GRRR…..COMFORTABLY HETERO!!!
Stone, his mental phone is always off the hook.
JHC, I love Top Chef most of all!!!
*Chodin rides into thread on his tandem bicycle*
Vroom, vroom boys…vrooom, vrooom.
*winks*
Forget his phone, Crispin Glover is off the hook!
*high five!*
Sam got fucked in season 2 Eib.
we talking Top Chef or Cheers now?
YES!!!! I dursted this bastard good!
Take that internet….
I can tell you this much: if my parents would slap a label onto our old home videos that read "Quinton Tarantino Presents", I wouldn’t mind so much watching "Uncle Glen’s Last Christmas" every year. Shit, I’d probably yell "Fuck yeah" a lot more during it too.
Fuck….. :-( Thanks Donk. Gah! Even on the radio show you’re trying to upstage me.
My Sister Sam.
I was in a biker gang for a few years.
They kicked me out because I didn’t have a motorcycle and I didn’t know how to ride one anyways.
Those guys are mean.
JHC: I just found out that Beakman is gay. Kinda sad the girls lost another one.
Regarding the movie….I think I just came. Thank you Quentin, here’s hoping this gets a theatrical release. Madsen is still hot, puffy and all. I’m a sucker for a ruffled shirt.
J, I was trying to save you from embarrasing
feminine odorDurst.We’re still cool, right?
I got to get my Mom to fuck this movie.
STAT!
I’m really having a hard time figuring out whether of not Michael Madsen is cool. On one hand, he was in Reservoir Dogs; on the other hand, he’s Michael Madsen.
Humungous – did they almost cut, burn, tattoo and kill you when you were trying to use the phone?
I once tried to start a biker gang. It just ended up me and a bunch of my friends, roaming around town on Kawasaki 50s, chugging root beer and telling people they were "gay".
I just found out that Beakman is gay
I’m not sure why I’m surprised by this… He was fabulous, definitely a know-it-all, a snazzy dresser, friendly to everybody, and hung around with an annoying asexual chick.
Chodin, I want in.
Yeah well, Don Herbert was probably a pederast. It didn’t stop me from learning more about science from them that all of my school teachers combined.
Unfortunately for me, they didn’t teach me to spell than with an "n" instead of a "t".
Chodin – You guys sound rough. I bet you made someone cry.
Humungous, we did call ourselves the "rough riders" but that’s only because we refused to wear condoms and we’d fuck to DMX.
stoney, thank god PD was there with his beeg platforms, huh?
TEQUILA!
TEQUILA!!!
jinx!
Me and the other nerds at my middle school formed our own "gang" and called them the Wildcats. Then they’d come to my farm and we would pretend to be Star Wars characters and throw shit at each other in the woods. I even drew a logo for it at school one day, which was a bad idea. Because the tough kids then "formed" their own group, The Wildcat Killers, and threatened to come over my house the next weekend and kick all of our asses. Half of them already had their licenses, too.
*rides up on a huffy with rainbow streamers*
Chodin, what the fuck?! I thought you said the gang was meeting behind old man Tomkin’s shed. Why do you guys always do this to me?
JHC: Oh I know…I still loves me some Beakman. And the guy has aged really well.
http://www.myspace.com/paulzaloom
So has Dennis Hopper for that matter. Carradine…not so much.
***i say we let him go***
The Wildcats? Like the basketball team in High School Musical?
That banner looks like it’s Tanya Roberts, Earl Weaver, David Arquette, Harvey Keitel, Courtney Cox and Ming-Na Wen.
"…threatened to come over my house the next weekend"
Some sick fuck in a biplane once came over my house. Dropped the wrath of God’s dick all over the place.
The Wildcats? Like the basketball team in High School Musical?
Eibz, even though you’re a woman, I’m pretty sure knowing that makes you gay.
*Pauly walks in with assless leather chaps*
I say ya let me have him first!
GRRR…CORPORATE MEETINGS!!!
That would explain my crush on Zac Efron then.
Absolutely 100% True on Kahless Sword: I was in a "gang" (my best friend at the time, and I) called "Fag Haters". It mostly consisted of us playing Nintendo and reading comics.
Thats funny Fek. Were you all shirtless and sweaty? Cause thats how I picture it in my head
Fek’lhr took non-smoking ads very seriously in his youth.
New post, gangrapists
maybe if i saw this movie when i was in highschool i wouldnt have gotten my ass kicked everydday?
i once was raped in a mens restroom by a gang of bikers well
idk if that would really qualify as rape seeing as i was giving them all headdoes that count as being in a gang?All I can say is you better have a fucking time machine, because you just went one calendar day without posting on the Dark Knight. What am I supposed to do with my Christian Bale man-rection now, have sex with my wife?