The trailer for 300 director Zack Snyder’s Watchmen is now online! FINAL UPDATE: You can still watch it over at Empire, or the YouTube version, after the jump.
A complex, multi-layered mystery adventure, Watchmen is set in an alternate 1985 America in which costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everyday society, and the "Doomsday Clock" – which charts the USA’s tension with the Soviet Union – is permanently set at five minutes to midnight. When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the washed-up but no less determined masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes. As he reconnects with his former crime-fighting legion – a ragtag group of retired superheroes, only one of whom has true powers – Rorschach glimpses a wide-ranging and disturbing conspiracy with links to their shared past and catastrophic consequences for the future. Their mission is to watch over humanity…but who is watching the watchmen?
Everyday people are costumed superheroes, huh? Sounds good, but do you really think they’ll be able to top Mystery Men? No Kel Mitchell? No Janeane Garofolo in tights? I. Just. Don’t. See it.
[via Empire]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Huebel-gyllenhaal-carell-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
Maybe I’m missing something or maybe I’m just creeped out by Serious Catborg, but isn’t that more or less the plot of The Incredibles?
The Blue Man Group just got sexy!
It’s here too : http://cinemablend.com/new/Watchmen-Trailer-9552.html
And here too, http://youtube.com/watch?v=93ChSPFBp5o
Apparently that was a prepost and Empire Online took it down when they found out dirty Harry Knowles was linking to it. I don’t blame them. I found it on the YouTubes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aOFmZUSJPA
When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the washed-up but no less determined masked vigilante, Rorschach, sets out to uncover a
plotblot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes.Fixed
That chick looks like she was really getting into her S&M session until dude lowered her into a vat of iodine.
BTK Rorschach dies. SPOILER!
Watchmen unwatchable? I hope not.
Watching aliens do laundry has always been a fascination with me.
–
In the alternate 1985, New Coke is a big hit.
As do millions in NYC.
I thought the book was a chore to read but this looks pretty cool.
Iint he alternate 1985, ‘We Are The World’ doesn’t exist.
In the alternate 1985, Krush Groove is bigger than E.T.
In the alternate 1985 "lint he" means "in the"
In the alternate 1985, we win Vietman. (SPOILER!)
In the alternate 1985, LIVE AID is taped.
It’s here, too.
/points to crotch with middle finger and makes kissing noise
In the alternate 1985, Geraldine Ferraro makes the DeLorean the official car of the Secret Service and the subsequent boost to that company’s output leads to 85% of Americans having access to time travel by 1989. Thereby allowing all decades to suck as much as the ’80s.
In the alternate 1985, Nintendo is named "Inurendo"
In the alternate 1985, my six-year old self takes his phys ed instructor seriously.
In the alternate 1985, AIDS is all the rage.
In the alternate 1985, MacGuyver was a flop.
In the alternate 1985, Chodin’s parent find out he’s really a boy.
*Chodin shakes fist at Korean seamstress*
Herro? Herro!? Can you "not-a hear-a" what I’m saying!? I said I want an eight pack on my fucking superhero costume, not a six pack like you did. An eight pack, like two circles "on-a top-a" each other! Got it?
In the alternate 1985, Sue Ellen shot J.R.
In the alternate 1985, Japan Airlines Flight 123 lands safely only to run over 520 people in the process.
In alternate 1985, Pauly’s parents are clan members.
In the alternate 1985, Donk’s uncle never comes to visit him living in Germany and his asshole stays the same size all year long.
In the alternate 1985, Christa Mcauliffe declines the offer to be the first teacher in space and goes on to cure cancer.
In alternate 1985, Chodin discovers his love for poetry and years later goes on to win the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry for his poem about leaves in the fall.
In the alternate 1985, the Dolphins win the Super Bowl and Finkle never becomes Einhorn.
In the alternate 1985, JHC convinces his parents to buy Berkshire/Hathaway stocks, on a hunch.
JHC ends up owning all of you.
In the alternate 1985, Madmartigan actually posts something at 17:01 on 07/17/2008.
In alternate 1985, Pauly finally gets to rail coke off of David Lee Roth’s cock.
In the alternate 1985, Michael Jackson is straight.
In the alternate 1985, The Goonies find a hidden ass-pirate ship and learn important lessons about male bonding.
Dude, my hilarious comments aren’t posting. You guys should just believe me when I say if you could see them, you’re brains would melt at the genius.
Apparently, we are in alternate 1985. Unless it’s normal for people to make movies like "Thrust in Me" that star Nick Zedd as Man / Woman.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0090167/
In alternate 1985, Chodin doesn’t get teased for wearing his Wham! t-shirt.
In the alternate 1985, Zac Hanson is never born, leaving the world bereft of MMMmbop.
In alternate 1985, my piss put out St. Elmo’s fire.
In the alternate 1985, Footloose sweeps the boards at the Oscars. Everybody cut loose, Footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes…
In alternate 1985, Glenn Frey’s "The Heat is On" is on the soundtrack for The Color Purple.
Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but I just came.
BTK, JHC wins the alt 85 contest wiff his Krush Groove reference. Way to go, lord and saviour. Mad props to the son of god.
In the alternate 1985, the Brat Pack consisted of Yul Brynner, Rock Hudson, Orson Welles, Anne Baxter, George Savalas and Frank Stallone.
In alternate 1985, Chodin’s L.A. Gears only have one shoe lace per shoe.
In the alternate 1985, people in New Orleans are warned that a hurricane is coming 20 years later that will utterly destroy the city. Same result.
In alternate 1985, LA Gears don’t light up . . . they catch fire. Pretentious pre-pubescent asshats everywhere are permanently scarred.
Damn J, and to think I was gonna nominate your Krush Groove comment. Oh well.
In the alternate 1985, Real Genius doesn’t get made, Donkey never tries to dream about standing in sun-god robes while thousands of naked women scream and throw tiny pickles at him.
In alternate 1985, my parents DON’T try to leave me on the doorsteps of a house in the suburbs.
In alternate 1985, The Goonies is a Rom-Com.
In the alternate 1985, Bronson Pinchot stars as Rocky Dennis in Out of Africa.
In the alternate 1985, my little brother is never born, I get the brand new car for my 16th birthday and the fancy college education, I make lots of money and never spend time hanging out on the internet. EVERYONE WINS! Except my little brother, who is unborn. …..EVERYONE WINS!
Holy crap, that gave me goose bumps. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet
Oh, c’mon erswi. That was the most subtle way I could think to make a black people are always late joke without actually coming out and saying it. I don’t want to appear racist.
You sneaky fucker! You still got me to do it.
In alternate 1985, Contra has no codes.
In the alternate 1985, Porky’s revenge is to kill the Care Bears.
Yeah kudos for the much loved Krush Groove reference, which reminds me: In the alternate 1985, my breakdancing skills brought me the respect and admiration of my peers.
In the alternate 1985, Adolfo ‘Shabba-Doo’ Quinones becomes President of the USSR.
There’s not enough Adolfo ‘Shabba-Doo’ Quinones references.
In the alternate 1985, Mad Max is not that angry. He just gets high all the time.
In alternate 1985 the Russians don’t love there kids at all. And Sting goes by Poke.
In the alternate 1985, Pale Rider gets a fucking tan.
In the alternate 1985, Sade doesn’t write Smooth Operator for me.
In the alternate 1985, Foreinger knows what love is.
In the alternate 1985, Chodin doesn’t have Sussudio looped on a tape in his walkman.
In the alternate 1985, Miami Vice is shown when listed and in the correct fucking order, BBC1. It’s also set in Alaska and stars Cannon and Ball. " I piggin’ hate you, Tommy, you cocksucker"
in the alternate 1985, Remo Williams finally gets the glory it deserves and Fred Ward replaces Sly and Arnold as the worlds premier action star.
In the alternate 1985, no one could remember who sang the song played over the closing credits of The Breakfast Club.
In the alternate 1985, the video for a-ha’s "Take on Me" doesn’t freak, a 2-year-old Pauly, the fuck out.
In the alternate 1985, Mr. Mister says to "take these broken wings, and shove’em straight up your ass".
In the alternate 1985, Annette Wilson marks the "yes" box on JHC’s note he passed asking if she wanted to be his girlfriend. Later that year, JHC loses his virginity at 12 instead of 19.
::reaches for backspace key but hits add comment tab on accident::
You were two in alternate 1985? I had already fucked a two-year-old by then, man. I feel old.
Shit. I meant 13. Pinky swear.
in the alternate 1985 i get thanked for the tip
In the alternate 1985, Starship built a city on a river with good access to the coast, a sound infrastructure and clear urban planning.
In the alternate 1985, Charlie Bronze’s habit of masturbating into polythene bags and flushing them down the loo did not come to the attention of his parents after they had to call a plumber out to unblock the fucker.
In the alternate 1985, Dire Straits gets their money for something, and their chicks for a nominal fee.
In the alternate 1985, my family could afford for me to not wear Reebak Pomps.
In 1985 I stick more than just the tip in.
in the alternate 1985, madonna is not a huge whore
In the alternate 1985, Stevie Wonder is a full-time lover, Huey Lewis loves the Power of Nuclear-harnessed energy, and Whitney is not saving her love for anyone.
I could go on and on now that I’ve found this Billboard list.
yea thats right… in 1985… not alternate 1985
In 1985 the secret word is pederasty.
William Peterson stars in… To Live And Die in Palmdale.
I Love The Alternate 1980′s is a hit show in the alternate 2000′s.
In the alternate 2000′s, The Rapture claims 92% of the world asshole population. Freeway congestion — and strangely enough, Harry Potter movies — are immediately improved.
In the alternate 1985, Stevie Wonder and a blind Phil Collins collaborate to write the song "Easy Part-Time Lover".
In the alternate 2000′s, the internet is a system designed for scientists to exchange information.
In the alternate 2000′s, serious cat is actually jubilant pussy.
charlie, i gotta give you props for your Starship drop. i peed myself a little.
charlie, i gotta give you props for your Starship drop. i peed myself a little.
shit… i dursted.
shit… i dursted.
Groovy.
In the alternate 1990s, Sir Mix-a-Lot consults Cosmo to pick women he likes.
What the fuck? No The Dark Knight post? Shit, according to the timeline I guess the world is going to end.
In the alternate 2007, Vilance has not posted a single thing regarding The Dark Knight. And really, nobody misses it.
Damn Fluxxy, we were right there man!
In the alternate 1985 Bill is a tycoon from betting on sports with an almanac from the future.
God dammit I wrote Bill instead of Biff. You gotta be fucking kidding me.
In the alternate 1985 Madmartigan owned a speak and spell and Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing, and didn’t look like such an ass by totally flubbing his post on this thread.
I hate to admit it but after watching this trailer my tag line for this movie is no longer "In 2009 Zack Snyder sodomizes yet another comic book fanboi fantasy"
ive been in nerd boner extasy all day today because of this trailer this movie is gonna kick vast ammounts of rear ends
How are they going to do the ocean scenes? I want to see real rotting corpses please.
Hmmm…looks like I picked a good day to play hookey.
And Bexy, whose playing Roshach?
And the chick playing Laurie Juspeczyk looks kind of young no? I mean she’s been married for years. That takes a lot out of you. Ohhhh yeahhhh.
the guy playing rorschach is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0355097/ jackie earle harley
the chick playing laurie is somewhat young, i’ll guess we’ll have to wait to see what she looks like without the costume
the black freighter stuff is gonna come out in a seperate DVD
If I had a buff suit like that, I would wear v-neck shirts 2 sizes too small.
Ya know, all euro-trash like.
Plus, if your gonna have a female superhero, I think every costume should have a low neck line. Like, low enough so that if she’s fighting crime, there’s an 85% chance a titty’s gonna come flying out.
If I had a superhero suit made, you best believe that the motherfucker is gonna have a Camelbak built in, full of yummy 7&7.
If I were a superhero, my power would be to pause time, so as not to get walked in on jacking off.
It’s in relatively hi-res on firstshowing.net.
Because songs from "Batman & Robin" make every trailer scream "Oscar Bait!"
If I were a superhero, my power would be to able to not have to wipe my ass after I shit. I mean, I could right now, but that just aint hygienic.
it’s like the anti batman and robin, it;s using the B side The Beginning is the End is the Beginning to that A side from the batman and robin movie The End is the Beginning is the End, its pretty clever when you think about it
smary paaaaaants!
: )
Carla Guglio-boobs is also kind of young. I hope they hag her up. I’m tired of my husband lurving her.
I think it’s been long enough since I’ve read this comic that I’m actually looking forward to the movie. I probably don’t remember half the stuff they cut out anyway.
Watanabex, this song is also on the Batman & Robin soundtrack, it just wasn’t the hit single
Best Batman song EVER!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2j4bg_prince-batdance_music
I just saw a Domino’s pizza commercial for the Dark Knight "Gotham Pizza". I’m going to eat one of the pizzas, and if it’s any good, I might go see the movie, but only if the film has stuffed crust.
Pauly – I prefer this Batman song :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBsxqQIu_5s
I just had a nerdgasm
In the alternate 1985, you CAN drive 55.
Turns out there are two different kinds of "Domino’s Gotham Pizza": The Batman pizza has Bat-shaped pepperonis. The Joker pizza is covered in a deadly cocktail of prescription drugs.
I highly recommend the Joker pizza, BTK.
I get the Two Face pizza. Cheese on one side and pepperoni pimples on the other.
I’m going to see a free 3AM private screening of "Dark Knight"
I can hardly wait.
SUCKERS!
Wow! Who wants to smell Jacktion’s finger?
Stop calling comic books graphic novels. Calling a comic book a "graphic novel" is just another way of reminding everyone else what a colossal douche bag you are.
Calling a comic book a “graphic novel” is like calling a hooker a “virgin”.
Dark Knight is playing at IMAX here. How come this is new to me? I’ll be seeing Dark Knight at an IMAX shortly. Oh baby.
Who’s ready for TEH SEXXY?
In an alternate 1985, Arnold and Dudley do not make it out of the bicycle shop.
Sorry I’m so late to the game.
Lince finally got off his dead
hookertrannyass and posted!In the alternate 1985, I touch my gym teacher inappropriately.
What’s with the cheap Batman imitation?
After the jump? Why the fuck am I jumping? I’m fucking sitting down? Who the fuck jumps when they’re at their computer? Does it make you feel like a big man to tell people to jump? ANSWER ME!!!