TIM BURTON CASTS SOME BITCH
07.24.08
Tim Burton has cast Australian actress Mia Wasikowska, who looks like a giraffe I’d like to bone and is apparently on In Treatment, in his adaptation of Alice In Wonderland for Disney.
The film, based on a script by Linda Woolverton ("The Lion King"), will be produced by longtime Burton collaborator Richard Zanuck, former Disney chairman Joe Roth and Jennifer and Suzanne Todd. It will be shot with live-action and performance-capture footage and presented in Disney Digital 3-D. Disney creative executive Jason Reed will oversee the project, set to begin principal photography in November. [Hollywood Reporter]
I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to read "Wasikowska" without a question mark on the end. In any case, I can only hope she’s preparing for her role by listening to Jefferson Airplane in the tub while Johnny Depp throws grapefruits at her head.
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This fucking cunt realizes she is in a Burton movie that will feature a Queen obsessed with decapitations, right?
Fuck, someome beat me to hitting Kate Blanchett with a truck.
Yeah, ummm . . . she looks like she’s already been through the standard Tim Burton movie makeup application process. What gives?
Wosikowska is how you spell porn music phonetically.
I’d like to use this chick like a periscope.
Holy shit, this chick could deep throat a rhinocerous. Seriously though, I wouldn’t mind seeing her play with a Rabbit.
she’s kinda cute
In Treatment was awesome, this chick Washacockski was awesome. That bshe’s 18 now and has a mouth big enough to park a Volkwagon Van in, also awesome.
I’m not saying this chick has a long neck, but she can use queen-size comforter as a scarf.
I liked her better as the lead in the original Land Before Time.
My brother and I used to have a Wasikowska 50, when we were kids. That shit was fun.
"Wasikowska!" is what a Japanese magician says right before he reveals.
I’m not saying this chick has a big neck, but she’s never had a problem with blind spots while driving.
She’s also cast as the female alien in E.T. 2: Salvation.
That chicks head would look fucking amazing in my hunting room.
She’s from Australia, I wonder how many Crying Monkey Awards she has?
When I think of giraffes, I cannot help but think of this:
http://www.evolutionfairytale.com/giraffe3.htm
(essentially work safe)
I’m not saying this chick has a long neck, but she is fucking pale.
"…is apparently on In Treatment…"
Oh hey, isn’t that that one show that I’ve never fucking seen?
Did the crew have to take breaks to allow her time to bury her head for naps?
<== just saw Mia pop an apple into her mouth whole and spin it with her tongue.
I’m not saying this chick has a long neck, but Lisa Rinna could give her a hickey and it would look like a mosquito bite.
I bet the food she eats spoils before it hits her stomach.
Julia Roberts is going to get face-hole diameter envy.
They should cast Wilford Brimley and Jim Caviezel as the Walrus and the Carpenter.
Steven Tyler was quoted as saying, "That’s a huge fucking mouth! Waaahaaahaayaaaa!"
Pauly: "Hey Bitch, did you just get a hair cut?"
Mia: "No! I just had my fucking shoulders lowered."
Her boyfriend described oral as, tossing a sausage into a manhole.
It’s funny because I used to wake my girlfriend up by blasting Jefferson Airplane and then throwing a grapefruit at her head. Only replace "blasting Jefferson Airplane" with "crying really loud" and then "throwing a grapefruit at her head" with "begging for sex".
She’s the genetic result of coming from a long line of cattle rustlers.
She uses a box of Crest White Strips for one half of her teeth.
The top left half.
She can wear a turtleneck and you’ll still see clavicle.
neckropheliac.
You’d have to come on her four times to give her a proper pearl necklace.
She dresses like a barber pole every year for halloween.
Little known tidbit about Mia.
She’s the love child of Cynthia Nixon and Manute Bol.
The problem with casting her for Alice in Wonderland is that it’s going to take an hour and a half to get through the ‘eat me, drink me scene’
I bet she has to drive a car with a sunroof and wear those boss aviator goggles.
"…presented in Disney Digital 3-D…"
Or as the children like to call it: "Scariest-Fucking-Memory-Of-My-Adolescent-Life-Vision".
"eat me, drink me" = 69?
Feed your head some fuckin’ grapefruits.
In the summer she lets underprivileged kids use her esophagus as a water slide.
True Story: I hit my bestfriend in the head with a golf ball after I tee’d off on my other friend’s rooftop. He was about 10 feet away and dropped like a bag of bricks.
She served two years in the Australian navy as a periscope.
True Story Pauly: that’s what happens to people when you hit them in the head with golf balls.
This girl would be kind of hot if it weren’t for her everything.
Tru dat, chodin.
I’ll never lie to you Pauly…
*Chodin leans in close; Dido starts to play in the background*
That’s a three dick gob alright. are you sure she’s not playing the Cheshire Cat? I may have to watch Fear and Loathing again for inspiration as "me and a few of the boys have got some work to do" this weekend.
This reminds me of a fun nature fact: did you know that the only bird with a penis is a swan? In related news, I wouldn’t fuck her with a swan’s dick.
Fucking figures Burton would hire somebody that actually looks like one of the characters from A Nightmare Before Christmas.
If she just stood on a live stage and leaned forward, they wouldn’t need to make a 3-D movie.
Its been long enough for me that I’d fuck a swans dick.
<== Just saw the five day take for TDK.
Her doctor keeps a innertube from a semi truck tire on hand in case she ever hurts her neck.
When I saw that banner pic, I thought this was going to be a post about a Dark Crystal remake.
I bet she shits ink when startled.
I hear one of the Olsen twins is going to play the Queen of Hearts to save them money on CGI for a character that disappears when she turns sideways.
Fun Nature Fact: Did you know Mia Wasikowska is the only actress who is repeatedly raped by confused male swans?
This is what happens when the doctor uses the vacuum to pull a snatch lodged baby out.
Bitch gets vertigo when she looks down at her shoulder.
Wasn’t this chick in Reign of Fire?
yeah, I’m pretty sure she killed Matthew McConaughey in that movie.
If this bitch chokes on her food, fuck the Heimlich manuvure, you would need a plumbing snake instead.
She can blow a guy around a corner.
Fuck sword swallowing, this chick could down a telephone pole.
Yikes, you guys are harsh
<=== Yaaarrrgh!!! It’s the water tentacle from The Abyss!!
This is a genetic adaptation that allows her to blow standing NBA players with her still on her knees.
Her eyes used to be best friends, but now it seems they’ve drifted apart.
I know you’re joking eibz cuz you sure ain’t new around here.
Oh my stars and garters!
http://tinyurl.com/5q8z2f
SOOOOOO not work safe, but no pictures. Just words, so.
I can’t help but say her name like Boo from Monsters, Inc.
"Mia Wasikowska!!!"
"Mia Wasikowska."
"Me a angrycracka!"
Her eyes used to be best friends, but now it seems they’ve drifted apart.Donk, I was hoping you’d save that one for the next SATC post with Kristin Davis.
Eib, actually I think she’s pretty cute. I just like making fun of people. I guess that’s why I became a teacher.
I think she looks kinda like ET, and everyone loves him
Oh, finally a place for me
http://www.zombieharmony.com/
And, Crap, today I am playing the part of naive noob, and you are all the angry regulars. I feel naughty
New up
WITH POSTERS!!
Leave her alone you guys! She’s totally cute!
*turns to Mia*
Hey baby, don’t listen to those big stupid heads. Come here and sit on Lord Humungous’ lap.
Yeahhhh, that’s it.
*drool*
I really liked this chick when she played one of the weasels in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Get your heads out of the sand, NEW POST!
That neck is so long you almost forget the giant ears.
She’s a beautiful swan. No seriously, she’s a freaking swan.
Damnit, now I’m poaching Rotty’s bits. Maybe I should go stand in the corner and wait for the grapefruits to fly.
AURORA SNOW AURORRA SNOW AURORA SNOw
are you people blind!!!!!!!!
It’s nice to see that Aurora Snow is getting into legit movies…
DAMN! Dog Sweaters beat me by an inch! But I agree… how come nobody else noticed this long ago? Man, I had to create an account just to say it.
Damn, I figured after the first page of comments, it would be safe to make the Aurora Snow comparison.
Although I guess the fact that her name is Aurora makes her perfect for a Disney movie.