MRS. COREY FELDMAN IS CHOPPED LIVER
07.22.08
This month’s Playboy features a spread on Corey Feldman’s wife Susie, who reportedly agreed to do the shoot for free, probably to promote her husband’s crappy fake reality show The Two Coreys or his crappy movie Lost Boys 2. And wasn’t he in a band once? In any case, according to The Hollywood Gossip, she was promised the cover only to be booted for Ashley Harkleroad, and to add insult to injury, Harkleroad probably got paid.
I hope all you ladies out there have learned a valuable lesson about not showing your vagina to the world for free. Wait, no, forget I said that. This is all part of her plan, I’m sure of it.
On another note, how is it that every 80s actor who goes to rehab comes back looking like a scary transvestite? Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Charlie Sheen – is one of the twelve steps losing 30 pounds, shaving off your eyebrows, and getting your haircut like a lesbian?
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Wolf-150x150.jpg)
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Wait….Corey’s not gay?
This months Playboy also features a spread of mayonnaise.
What, she in the Imperial Gangsters, or sumpin’?
Say what you want about shit like O-Town and Scary Movie 6 and The Jonas Brothers, but if that Corey Feldman level of incredibly fleeting, shit-stained fame can pull you this level of ass 20 years later, sign me the fuck up. You can laugh at my shaved eyebrows all you want.
People still subscribe to Playboy?
Why?
J-for the articles.
The Corey’s also look like prepubescent 13 year old boys. I guess thats what child molestation does to you.
I’m gonna make sure my kids stay young forever.
Everytime I ask a girlfriend if she wants to be on the cover of Playboy, it’s always followed by me then batting her in the face with the Playboy and saying, "See, dreams really do come true, dummy".
That’s one issue of Playboy I will not be reading.
That’s one issue of Playboy I will not be reading.
With the impeccable judgment to do a Playboy shoot for free, I can see why she had trouble choosing what she likes best about her husband: his dashing good looks or his relevant film career.
BAM!
ewww, I bet she’s calls her boobs the two Corey’s
J, I was gonna cancel my scrip a while back but my wife wouldn’t let me. God I love that woman.
So when’s his website gonna be up and running again? Or was that the other one?
VLance has finally ended his drought of banner pics that I can masturbate to
without feeling bad!Oh, and another thing . . . I would do her.
*if Corey Feldman’s crack addict dick hadn’t already been all up in that. Maybe he’s never fucked her in the ass. In that case, I would fuck her . . . in the ass. Double baggin, of course
wait but you guys told me it was ok to show your lady parts for free as long as i got peanuts
respectfor itbrooklyn says: Say what you want about shit like O-Town and Scary Movie 6 and The Jonas Brothers, but if that Corey Feldman level of incredibly fleeting, shit-stained fame can pull you this level of ass 20 years later, sign me the fuck up. You can laugh at my shaved eyebrows all you want.
Yeah, but there’s no way she’s faithful. I bet she fucks Dave Coulier on the side.
Wowee! My imagination is giving that banner pic girl some hot fucking camel toe!
That thumbnail picture is confusing. why is everybody so upset that this chick in playboy is married to KD Lang?
if my nasty what?
Do i get bonus points for being pedantic? Chicks dig that, right?
Looking at the thumbnail pic, I’m pretty sure Val Kilmer invented Corey Haim.
Man, I will never forget the first time I saw a vagina up close and personal! I thought I was staring down the neckhole of a decapitated, clubbed baby seal!
Damn erswi! That’s pretty sweet. My Mrs. doesn’t mind porn, but she also doesn’t see the point in paying for it.
Jesus Christ! Just looking at these two make me want to slam a kitten in a car door.
While shitfaced on vacation my buddy and me laughed our way through an episode of Coreys out of morbid curiosity and boredom. This chick was the better actor, and came of as more rational than either of those insipid mewling narcissistic butt plugs.
I bet Corey Haim still calls up Heather Graham everytime "Mercedes Boy" comes on the radio.
This months Playboy also features a spread of mayonnaise.
Val Kilmer is all over this one.
Corey Feldman makes the baby Jesus cry
She did the spread for free because she obviously has AIDS.
I bet she crocheted that top herself. Mrs. Feldman looks like the needlecraft type.
She did a really bad job of hiding her car keys in her bellybutton.
I bet when her skin’s not airbrushed you can see the shame.
Insipid Mewling Narcissistic Butt Plugs is a great name for a band.
Playboy editor drinks bucket of PANDA SEMEN, gooses an intern and does AIR BRUSHING.
Burnsy let the air out of my tires.
8====D- ;(
For fun at parties the Coreys bend over and point hair dryers at their assholes and do a mean impersonation of a two piece jug band.
phooooooo
aaaaahhhhhhhh
Wow, that’s one helluva woman, posing in Playboy just to get her guy some press. I can’t get my wife to stop letting my kids use my Sports Illustrated to line the hamster cage.
Crap, if we could nominate avatars for COTW you would be IN!
second, erswi
i can’t help but laugh every time i picture Crap’s posts being read by whatever voice would come out of that face
The bigger picture includes the water balloon flyng at this guy. I still don’t know if this dude or spaz finger kid with horse in his face is my favorite HOLYFUCK!! look.
If you look real closely at the banner pic, you can almost see a nipple.
However, a quick glance at the thumbnail reveals you can clearly see two boobs.
*bowtie spins*
Vince, one demerit for not making #2222 the Borat lawyer post.
<== the paternity test was positive
<== the cops just released the dog
<== "Where’s my rims?!?!"
<== just got the bill at Applebee’s
<== Walked in on mama kissing a white woman
^^ "Who said ghost?!?!?"
^^ "Cannot believe that Kobe got the MVP!!!!"
fukgotawork
Please change ^^ to \/ \/, in previous post. Thanks. K. Bye.
If Mrs. Corey Feldman is chopped liver, I guess I don’t have to feel like such a freak for wanting to pour beer all over her and do questionable things I’ll later blame on her inability to process things quickly enough.
I vote for the Kid/Horse avatar C-Dog. That shit makes my day a little better just by thinking about it.
How many times you want to guess Haim got caught sniffing Susie’s dirty panties?
This couple should meet Jeff Garcia and his hot wife. It’s only a matter of time before Jeff and Corey are making out while their wives sit in the foyer all lonely. Then, in swoops Donk to keep ‘em company.
What? Foyer? isn’t that where rich people hang out?
"SWIMMING POOL?!?!?!"
For a good laugh, read about their wedding:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susie_Feldman
In the future, Vance, you should be careful with headlines like these. I tend to take things literally sometimes, and this one would be totally believable. "Yes, Your Honor, I married this plate of entrails, but I am truly in love with the cow tongue. How do I get this mess annulled?"
Burnsy, you think Corey wrote that or do you think she wrote it herself?
Sorry it took me two pages to comment, but I’ve been
masturbatingworking…Whoa whoa whoa, her Dad died when she was 9, her Mom was a welder and she met Corey when she was 19. Who else has the theme from Flashdance in their head?
That’s funny, that banner pic is what the trannies with hep that live under the bridge look like after I have free-based a bunch of turpentine! I like arranging their bodies in transgender bum sculptures.
*Chodin re-enters thread, looks around, eats, shoots and leaves*
The good news is that the older I get, the more socially acceptable it is to masturbate to girls younger than I am.
I have a very serious question to ask.
Avenged Sevenfold and Buckcherry are gonna be playing in Lincoln. Do I risk losing my temper with a bunch of little dickweeds that think they are tough guys because they listen to this kind of music or no?
J-let’s go and kick some ass!
Jesus Christ, if my masturbatory escapades were confined to honouring women older than myself i’d… i’d, probably not bother. "Thank heavens, for leetle girls." well y’know, not literally. if word got out, my congregation would never forgive me.
JHC – Buck Cherry is opening for Crue in August here. I’m already vibrating.
I saw Disturbed/FlyLeaf here about two years ago. I’ve never had the urge to cockpunch people more in my entire life combined than that night. Little fuckin’ asshats in their boots and black, long-sleeved thermal underwear under a t-shirt with jeans bought with holes already in them.
Whatssamatta Charlie, Betty White not good enough for ya?
J, carry around a wallet-sized picture of an asshole and show it to them. When they ask what the fuck it is, tell ‘em it’s a mirror.
No. New up, Grannylickers.
I haven’t trusted Playboy since they airbrushed out Chyna’s cock. That was just wrong, man.
Now, which one of the Corey’s drank the jesus juice and got ass raped by the King of Pop. Like in popping little boys cherries?
Corey Feldman’s wife is hot enough to work at the Victoria’s Secret down at the mall-why the fuck is she wasting time hanging around him?
Yeah. I’d do her. And her friend in black. Wait…what?