I know I linked a trailer for Outlander two days ago, but that link’s already broken and there’s already a new trailer up. Once again, here’s the story:
A dude from outer space named Kainan (Jim Caviezel – Jesus from The Passion) crash lands in Viking-era Norway, pursued by a Cloverfield-looking space dragon called a Moorwen. Kainan leads the alliance to kill the Moorwen by fusing his advanced technology with the Viking’s Iron Age weaponry.
Hmm, it all sounds a little mundane to me. So futuristic Jesus crash lands on Earth and has to team up with the Vikings to fight a space dragon. But then what happens? I dunno, I’m just not sure there’s a story there. (I’m also including the painting I commissioned of Jesus circumcising a dragon – it’s strangely relevant, don’t you think?)
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What? No one liked this thread?
Like this thread, there’s a lag on what we say and when it comes out.
I think we’re turning Japanese.
The Mighty Fek’lhr is reminded of the time Kahless fought the illegal immigrants at the border.
Kahless won.
Well it’s a TrailerAddict clip, which load like crap on my computer. Though frankly, hearing half of every other word of the voiceover might make more sense than the actual plot.
Besides, I liked this story better when it was an Canadian Football League highlight on ESPN.
"The Vikings defeated the Dragons last night in frozen Saskatchewan, and in his postgame press conference the Vikings coach gave all the credit to Jesus…"
New up, stinky
Vikings: "who the hell are you?"
Kainan: "Ich bin ein auslander!"
Vikings: "dude, this is fucking Norway. although that song was pretty rad for its time"
Huh. I guess Vince thought that with a little time gone by that I might give a fuck about this film. He was wrong. It’s the thought that counts. Or is it hand grenades? I suck at tests.
I can’t wait until the Faulkners who wrote this turd describe how the alien dragon hunter speaks fucking Viking. Do they even bother after Star Trek just decided a computer did it?
This movie needs black people in it. Otherwise it will be nearly impossible to guess who’s going to get eaten by the monster first.
Kainan better speak "Clatto Verata Nicto" clearly or he’ll have to face Evil Kainan and he’ll never get back to space.
Temp Billing Block is the weirdest tagline ive ever heard…. but it makes me wanna go see a movie!