HERE’S A NICE PIECE OF SHIT
07.25.08Above, I’ve got the trailer for Saw V. Haha, just kidding, it’s actually after the jump. But I stand by their basic similarity.
Above, I’ve got the trailer for Saw V. Haha, just kidding, it’s actually after the jump. But I stand by their basic similarity.
There are 80 comments about:
Fuck Saw and everybody that’s ever paid a ticket or DVD rental or movie channel premium to see it. And their mothers. I fuckin hate you and everybody you know.
BTK, my wife likes Saw. So there.
I’m a little disappointed it’s not called 5aw.
His wife has a circular saw.
Basically, it boils down to: He got a B in shop class, and an A in Home Ec. :(
That first clip should be called Drill
my wife hates saw. wait…my soon-to-be ex-wife hates horror. we watched saw and she didn’t remember it enough to HATE the thing…that’s how memorable the old saw movies were in ‘chez ‘b”. fuck a bunch of saw.
I can’t wait for Meg Ryan’s next fat suit adventure, See Saw.
Jesus, that trailer is confusing.
Liked that Meg Ryan post, huh, erswi? *snicker*
Then again, youcould replace her jersey with the Iowa Hawkeyes and it would be essentially the same thing (except Diet Pepsi and Virgina Slim Luxury Lights 1200s).
I care less about the Saw franchise than I do about the High School Musical franchise. Honest to Betsy.
I like the first clip better.
What is it going to take to stop this thing? It’s not like the last couple have made any money. Are we seriously going to be subjected to Saw 17? Of course by that I mean S17w.
I’ve never seen one saw. fucking pieces of shit
That’s true Fek. Though to be fair, she’d look perfectly at home in a Nebraska sweat-shirt with a fifth of Jack and a hand rolled cig.
Fek – Its Ricky from The Story Of Ricky, and judging from your AV, that flick would be right up your alley
One day I’m going to actually watch one of these things. And then wonder why I did that to myself.
meg ryan needs to wear her fat suit to some arkansas razorbacks games and shit, no one would even remotely notice her…it’d be like wearing ‘ozark-highlands’ camo pattern but for fat asses. hell, we have a piggy nose and a hog hat she could wear…someone would probably GIVE her one w/o batting an eye and then napkin-off the BBQ sauce from the corner of her lip.
Somebody I know got killed in one of these movies, so I watched that one. What the fuck is everybody else’s excuse for watching this shit?
At my funeral, I want the Father to yell "Ass to ass!" instead of saying "ashes to ashes".
Heavy Ass to Ass day at FilmDrunk.
Now if we could somehow get Robocop and Jennifer Connelly in the same room, my Stephen Hawking boner would be satisfied.
At my funeral, I want my wife to say, "He died the way he lived. Sitting on the fuckin’ couch playing X-Box".
For the first thirty seconds of that trailer I thought it was for The Passion of the Chri2t.
Miggs, as I said a few weeks ago, the ultimate Snorg t-shirt would be Nancy Allen and Jennifer Connelly doing A2A in the foreground with RoboCop standing alert, guns drawn, in the background. That is the Aronofsky Robocop I want to see.
I prefer the Stickley Brothers version of this film – Quarter Saw.
(if you get that without a Google assist you’re my new best friend)
Wait, is that a Heidi … The Hills chick … ad on the right column?
What next, banner ads for "Disaster Movie?"
UpROXX!!!!!!
IF YOU LIKE THIS I HATE YOU
HERE’S A NICE PIECE OF SHIT
Uproxx-1
Lince-0
JHC, your gonna die before your wife?
Harden up, man.
54\/\/
saV/
I love the saw movies, and I’ve seen every one of them in theaters, and own all 4 on dvd. I take a little satisfaction in my life that I’m making someone somewhere rage uncontrollably right now.
I hope my love isn’t everlasting, because those hookers are expensive.
I could be wrong Pauly, but I think she’s making that happen no matter what I do about it.
::sniffs breath and has sudden urge for Almond Joy candy bar::
We used to call the fat kid on the playground Saw because he was so heavy, he couldn’t push up hard enough to make the kid on the other end of the seesaw go all the way to the ground. That, and he sounded like he was cutting down a tree when he breathed. I think he killed himself; I can’t be bothered to look this shit up.
<— miggity mack fuckin’ Daddy of Game Show Hosts
I prefer the Boston version of this series – Saah.
BL: "Sweet! I wait all year for the new Saw movie! I don’t even need to watch it to know I give it thumbs hella up! I’m gonna get wicked high with my bro-hymns and see it at the midnight opening!"
BM: "Now B-izz-en, that’s just unprofessional. We have to watch the movies before we give them a review. But you’re totally right…I don’t know why they make movies that AREN’T Saw anymore. I give this movie the highest rating the studio’s commercial media buy during this program legally requires me to. And don’t forget to enjoy a refreshing Mountain Dew Code Feucia next time you’re…AT THE MOVIES!"
I prefer the past tense version – Seen
^^
Doesn’t she have lovely nipples…errr…uhh…dimples?
The only franchise that can compete with the shittiness of ‘Saw’ is probably Applebees.
I came.
I SAW.
IMAX?
It’s the future of cinema — six stories of no story.
Is it just me or does Lil’ Wayne look like Whoopie Goldberg in the picture at the bottom of this page?
Stone Soup, I prefer the New York version of this series – Sawr.
Robocop is going into "racial profiling overload" in the footcap.
Man, I got saved there by sheer luck that JHC posted again before my last comment.
Mung-wouldn’t know! I have Firefox with AdBl…NEVERMIND!
You know who rally likes the Saw movies? Your fat sister, that’s who.
I prefer the Latin version, Vedi.
UPROXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chodin – You are mistaken. My sister likes coleSlAW. Like, a lot of it.
You guys ever seen that thing where those guys pump off the girls pussy to make it like ginormous?
You know what I am talking about? What is that?
You know what would be really original? Is if the Saw DVDs came shaped like actual buzz saws…
…and then you used them to cut a tree fort for your retarded neighbor.
Fek – Yes. I’ve actually done that. It was weird, but she had an orgasm that nearly killed her.
So we did it again.
Not really, Fek. But I know that when you SAW through tiles, you have to get them wet first. Maybe that’s what you’re talking about?
My gay cousin really likes the Saw movies.
I don’t talk to my gay cousin.
Fek – It’s called a Pussy Pump. You can get them at any porn store for about $30.
QAPLAH!
I prefer the Jewish version, Mohel.
Some coffee shop barista was trying to tell me about how cool the last Saw movie was. I just kinda’ nodded my head and then told him to ‘shut the fuck up’ and to hurry up with my ‘gay drink’.Â
around here we call ‘em servers, chodin.
Around here we call them dropouts, chodin.
Around here I call them "ex-girlfriends".
Oh Cho, you dont drink nonfat sugar free vanilla lattes do you? ghey
Round here, we punch anyone that tries to put Counting Crows into my head just before I walk out to lunch!
The Mighty Fek’lhr prefers
iced chai lattesDOMESTIC BEER!!!Eibz, I prefer my cottage cheese straight from the dick.
Whew, I was starting to worry about you.
Anyone who refers to themselves as a ‘barista’ I’m gonna call waiter/waitress.
You really want to torture yourself? Trying fucking the hole in one of the Saw DVDs.
I DON’T WANNA’ DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it me or does the new Uproxx think make it feel like it’s the first day of school?
Fuck, I am like the Omega Man of the internet.
Leave it to Stoney to walk in JUST when I was about to get naked and teach myself to fly fighter jets!
Who’s stopping you, Maverick?
I’m not fucking lying you guys, the new Snorgtees chick wants me to shit on her chest! I can just fucking tell!
fek,
I won’t ask how you’ll be working the joystick or throttle.
TWO new up
kthnxbai
Anybody who calles himself a ‘barista’, I’m going to call a future BTK victim.
Actually, this Uproxx thing is like coming home from first grade and your mom has just cut and colored her hair. She seems the same, but it just doesn’t feel right… but then she smacks some sense into you with a sauce pan.
Quickly skims the comments to see if anyone’s made the gag already. Can’t believe his luck.
I saw V in the eigthies. It had that Beastmaster fella and Michael Ironside and that lizard bitch with the big norks. "Fucking lizard."
i see this uproxx bullshit doesn’t have a spellchecker. What’s the fucking point?
I fail to see how putting Tim Allen in a lamppost is scary……
Did you guys hear about next years big horror movie? Saw vs. Chucky vs. Tickle Me Elmo?