FLASH OF GENIUS TRAILER
07.24.08
Flash of Genius stars Greg Kinnear in the heartwarming true story of Robert Kearns, the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper. Kearns tried to interest big automakers in his invention only to have his idea rejected by all of them. When they later installed intermittent wipers on their cars without crediting him, Kearns filed a patent lawsuit and eventually won $30 million, only to die tragically the next day in a freak glass-bottom boating accident. Just kidding about that last part, but you have to admit it would’ve been pretty ironic.
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Why Lance, He had no idea you were such a knowledgeable seaman!
You know what’s ironic? Rain on your wedding day.
I can’t wait for my payday from all those studded buttplugs.
This is kind of like the time I fucked a jar of melted crayons, only to log onto the internet that night and find the fleshlight.Â
I want a documentary on the guy who invented the spring loaded center-punch. Or better yet, they should make a documentary that just follows me around while I center-punch a bunch of car windows.
ka-TWANG!
This movie’s premise kind of reminds Him of the time His dad wrote the local paper about gun control when he was drunk. In other words, only interesting if you were somewhat directly involved and gave a rat’s ass about anyone involved.
FUCKING CHINO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK! FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!
WooHoo! Fucking Chino!!! Can I get a ‘hell yeah’?
I hate it when this happens. I am sure my new idea won’t be rejected. I’ve invented a small snap on clip that covers the small indent on VHS tapes that prevents you from recording over the original program. I have gone through several prototypes, but my latest version most likely will not pop off inside the VCR.
And one last thing, and this is very important:
One more thing, and this is of extreme importance:
No Country Joe & The Fish For Old Men
FLASH! AAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! He saved every one of us!
I would file a lawsuit against the mother fucker that invented rain.
I told you it was important. Twice.
Chino-Do you have any idea how many
years of counselinghours of Rage Against the Machine He will have to listen to so He can re-kill that song in His head?Glen…that’s the gayest idea in the world.
True Story: I was once assigned to write a review of the fleshlight.
I have a better idea for Glen: Upgrade to something digital, then tear the tape out of all your VHS’s and send it to me. I’m trying to invent a cheap ferrofluid so I can use it in furniture and general evil doings.
In related news, John Henson is starring in a movie about a guy who invented begging for change.
I also invented black colored white out.
Can you come up with a device that keeps me from popping off inside the VCR?
Did they provide the fleshlight Vince, or were you required to borrow your dad’s again?
Fek -at least I didn’t say Hakuna Ma…nevermind.
man greg kinnear should be doing better movies i am not interested in watching this movie at all it needs more tits and fire
Vince, should I try it before I buy it?
HOLY SHIT! LNK PLZ PLZ PLZ, Vince????
Fek, just think of the ducktales themesong for a minute. You’ll be stuck with nothing but for about 5 hours on average.
Yeah! Ducktales! OH FUCK! I mean, GRRR…THUNDERCATS!
How strange! My cousin invented the automatic headlights and died during a performance of the fuzzy musket. They think it was the doer’s diet of Frito Boats and cabbage.
Me and Hairy Nutsack are still gonna make the Katrina Tales parody video one day. Yeah yeah, it wouldn’t be relevant anymore, but it wasn’t gonna be when we commited to making it either.
BTK, you guys will be glad to know He is not reviewing D&D video games any more.
He has been too busy playing Lord of the Rings Online.
I also invented a fork with a serrated edge for cutting. I actually thought the earlier ‘true blood’ post featured photos from the lawsuit that followed.
True Story: I was once assigned to write a review of the fleshlight.
Did you ever use it?
If no, you still have my address from the xfiles movie.
If yes, you’re a sick bastard and will go to hell for masturbating.
Ducktales! ooopWHOOOoooo!!
Glen, your ideas are giving me stomach cancer.
Fek is LOTR 0nline any good?
Bex-It’s the best.
Seriously, does this fucking plot synop sound like a godamn joke to anybody else? Or a rip of Tucker?
The dude over Greg Kinnear’s left shoulder, with the mustache, looks fucking retarded at that level of resolution.
Joel McHale>Aisha Tyler>Greg Kinnear>John Henson
Aisha would’ve gotten top billing if she would’ve shown her tits by now.
Fek, that’s not LOTR Online: you’ve been fucking around with the microwave for the past three days.
Now we can expect a movie based on the guy who invented the "Viper" scary story/joke.
Glen, your ideas are giving me stomach cancer.
Chod-THe Mighty Fek’lhr would remind you that His ideas have been known to be fatal to infants and the elderly, but then again, that was the whole point.
you’ve been fucking around with the microwave for the past three days.
Since when can you get Hot Pockets in Hobbitton? lol!
I once tried to sue Ford Motors too, because I thought the mustang was a copywrite infringement on my dick. In court, the judge ruled that my penis looked more like like a Chrysler and so the case was dismissed.
I swear to God, have you guys seen the new beer cans that have the extra hole on the top of the can to allow for a smoother pour?
I invented that about 8 years ago. I still have my drawings and patent application. But I was always high and kept putting it off. So I never submitted the application and now Budweiser and Coors are both using MY FUCKING DESIGN!!!!
Drugs are bad. Mmmkay?
If this message has touched you and you want to get rid of your drugs, please send them to:
Lord Humungous
Third Tent On The Left Blvd.
The Wastelands, OZ
Another invention I had was the relocation of my car’s horn button to the ceiling and driver’s door handle. As my usual reaction is to brace for impact, I was never able to sound the horn as well. Now I can do BOTH.
*Guy in the white shirt give Greg Kinnear a reacharound.
Aimless, some chick once called me and told me that she was coming over to "vipe my ass". Needless-to-say, I was pretty fucking bummed when she didn’t show up with a snake.
BTK, where is Flux? I need to figure out this "burny" thing!
Lord Humungous, sorry pal but I’m pretty sure I invented that shit first. Only problem was that Bud Light refused to call my design "sticking a fucking knife in your beer".
I got over the DuckTales theme. It’s the music from the video game I can’t get out of my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNTBj9TAk2E
And now, neither can you.
Oh, non-related, I was arguing with a fundie about Evolution, then made fun of him when I found out he was blind. Was that too harsh? No? I didn’t think so.
Flash a Genious is a story I wrote about a Oxford pederast whoes biggest kink is waving his boy probe at Steven Hawkins.
Shit, I just remembered. Hey, fek, just curious, but since you actually lived in Iowa in elementary school…….did you have to take the fucking Iowa Basics too? Or was that just something fucked up to do to kids in kansas?
Joel McHale>Aisha Tyler>Greg Kinnear>John Henson
John Henson would be higher if he would DYE THAT GODDAMN FUCKING CREEPY WHITE SPOT IN HIS HAIR. Just kidding, he sucked either way.
I invented the exploding novelty tire, but then Firestone stole it from me.
Nom-the ITBS (Iowa Test of Basic Skills)? Yes, every year. I always scored 98 and higher everywhere except in the map/almanac/encyclopedia section.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I will just keep looking until I find what I need!!!
Fek – those Glen inventions were not true. A coupe things he did invent (absolutely true):
1. A router table of his own design. He thought it would be best to make it like a table saw. He came in the next day with his hand in a cast and thirty or so stitches.
2. A method of installing sheetrock horizontally. That in itself is actually fine. But, not when you START with the piece that abuts the ceiling. He made his wife hold these unsupported sheets up while he put the screws in.
There are so many more – I’m just trying to think of examples that can be considered ‘inventions’…
True story: this guy I know, well he knows this dude who dated this chick, and her cousin’s girlfriend was fucking some dude who drove a Ford. Really.
I swear to Kahless that McHale and his writers just reads comments from here and there for The Soup and change one fucking word to make it their own.
No fek, that is divine irony. <rimshot>
new up
You ever been fucking a chick on the hood of your car and randomly the wipers turn on and mash up her back?
Me neither.
8=D;(Â sad sideways, winky face with a dick on top
Joel McHale>Aisha Tyler>Greg Kinnear>John Henson
What, nobody wants to throw Hal Sparks into the mix?
New up leg-humpers.
Fek, what have I always told you about mentioning your scores. Unless you’re talking about scoring some fine ass chick, keep those to yourself or you’ll seem like all the bullshitters out there. Iowans. Sure, they can come up with a standardized test, but they can’t keep their mouths shut.
All I was arriving at was, how could I score so high one after the other, but in the "reference" section I would get like a 44? It made no sense, and I have never been able to come to terms with it.
Just wanted to mention that I’d intermittently bang Lauren Graham.
Leon, I had totally forgotten that Sparks had a stint. He can be behind Kinnear. Nobody gets to behind Henson. ‘Cept maybe his boyfriend.
By the way, irony would be if Kinnear’s next movie was about the guy who sued Chrysler for the patent on turn signals and it was called Wipe Away the Tears.
Two Mules for Twisted Sister Sarah!