The other day, Oddee.com had a feature called “The 10 Funniest Homeless signs ever”. Interestingly, almost half of them feature movie references. I’m not sure demonstrating the amount of free time and resources necessary to build a storm trooper costume is the best way to prove that you’ve been reduced to begging for handouts through no fault of your own. But if there’s a God up there who’s not a total prick, this is how Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer will end up someday.
Little known fact about homeless people: If you strangle a homeless person just as you’re about to climax, it makes for a much more intense orgasm. It’s really a thrill, I think everyone should try hoboerotic asphyxiation. Also: If you give spare change to a homeless standing near a water fountain, you can shove him in and make a wish. Two birds with one stone!
[via Oddee]
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Hey, buddy, the flux capacitor isn’t the problem, it’s the 1.21 gigawatts!!!
BTK, this has been really bizarre, I watched Back to the Future with my mom and wife last night. Since then, there has been an article on Yahoo! about Marty McFly’s shoes, and then this here with the flux capacitor. WTF?
to be honest, if I saw a sign like that it would be the one time I did give them money.
Bimbo, I’m the complete opposite. If you’re clever enough to make me smile with a sign begging for money, then you’re clever enough to get a damn job.
If I wanted to pay to be entertained, I’d stop
asspirating movies."My parents’ basement flooded – please help"
I was walking through the ritzy part of the city and a homeless guy approached me and asked for a dollar, claiming that he was looking to make a down payment on a cheeseburger. I took out my monocle, adjusted my top hat, and told that ruffian that he should get a sweat equity loan.
I used to live with a homeless guy.
You’re a heartless prick, Donkey. I happily drop change in their cups – what else am I supposed to do with these useless Canadian coins?
Sometimes I think life would be so much less of a hassle if I were homeless.
Then I realize that overpasses don’t have Wi-Fi or shitters.
Stoney, the looney makes a very handy slammer pog if ou can’t find yours.
As for the coins? tell me you at least whip ‘em at the homeless guys.
Bloor meats really are the best!
Mmmmmm Bloory!
If these guys have that much time on their hands, they may as well fashion themselves a Zoltar booth to stand in. Can you imagine how many dead-end job losers would see that it’s unplugged, yet magically moving and throw a quarter in to go back to being a kid?
The only downside is waiting for the quarters to pass through your system.
New up
I thought that sign would have been better as "Blood Meat Market"
The best one I ever saw was years ago in NYC, a guy had a tattered and water-stained piece of cardboard on which he’d written "NEED MONEY FOR NEW SIGN." I’m pretty sure I
urinated on himgave him a quarter for that one.I always wanted to know where they got their makers from, "help can’t afford food’ but they sure afford pretty markers to make their signs all snazzy.
I like to give bums glue sticks, construction paper and glitter instead of money. That way they can jazz up their signs.
Hobos are great for sport fucking, but make terrible wives.