07.22.08 EBERT & ROEPER BECOMES DBAG & DBAG
To follow-up on this morning’s story about Ebert & Roeper leaving At the Movies, this morning’s story about Ebert & Roeper leaving At the Movies, Nikki Finke is now reporting that the new hosts will be Ben Mankiewicz and Ben Lyons (Ben & Ben). Who the fuck are they, you rightly ask?
…a Generation Why duo who only got the gig due to nepotism. Ben Lyons is the nobody son of Jeffrey Lyons, the film critic world’s biggest hack and quote whore with zero credibility, while Ben Mankiewicz is the slacker host on Turner Classic Movies, whose only claim to fame is that he’s a watered-down member of the famous film family. Now, there’s a working definition of the death of film criticism for you.
More on Mankiewicz:
Son of political figure, Frank Mankiewicz, grandson of famed screenwriter, Herman Mankiewicz, and great-nephew of screenwriter, producer and director, Joseph L. Mankiewicz. He is the brother of NBC News reporter Josh Mankiewicz. He is married to Contessa Kellogg. [Wiki]
More on Lyons:
Ivanka Trump once called Lyons’ house collect when they were kids. They went to the same school as children and have several mutual friends [probably all insufferable private school shitbags]. Lyons deejays every week at L.A. hot spots the Dime and the Roosevelt Hotel. Ben dated Whitney Port from the MTV reality show The Hills. [Wiki]
Wow, a guy married to “Contessa Kellogg” and MC Boarding School, this sounds like a blast. I’d never been worried about the competition from traditional media before, but now that they’ve hired these two wunderkinds so uniquely in touch with the voice of the common folk… I hate to say it, but this might just kill the internet.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/cool-story-brah-cat-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/ben-lyons-shoe-mank-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/07/3wolfposse-150x150.jpg)
There are 58 comments about:
EBERT & ROEPER BECOMES DBAG & DBAG
What? They couldn’t find an asswipe Jew named Jerry?
I already know the rating they’d give an Entourage movie.
Are Seltzer and Frieberg putting this on? Will it be called "Critic Show"?
asses
They’ve already picked the Tucker Max project as "Movie of the Year."
Finally, a critic team that can explain to me why Meet the Spartans was funny.
Their new signature sign-off line will be "We’ll save you an aisle seat…but you better put out. My dad owns this theater."
/salutes Michelle
"the use of striped shirts and red bull was truly remarkable. i can’t wait for the sequel ‘turtle goes to market’"
vote reno for cotw! were funny too damn it.
Ben L: "The Dark Knight was great because one time I was laying down hot new tracks at this nightclub and Heath Ledger showed up. I totally felt up Khloe Kardashian that night."
jesus rot, your going to have to tone down the funny, i’m campaining here.
Upcoming reviews of Valkyrie-
Mankiewicz: I thought this movie portrayed Jews in a bad light. I mean, not one was shown owning a jewelry store or anything. Geesh! This only gets an "O" on our "OMG!!" rating scale.
Lyons: World War II was real? I thought it was just something my Great Great Grandfather made up. Tom Cruise is fucking awesome in whatever he does though, so I give it an "OM".
Reno, I’m giving you two more chances not to annoy me before I discontinue your commenting privileges.
PLEASE tell me that the "zip-up hoodie under the suit jacket" look is now fashionable. when i tell the homeless man on the corner he is now en vogue, he might let me kick his dog for free this time
Ho-lee shit. From their pictures they’re a whole lot more “Pedophile Priest & Altar Boy” than “Ebert & Roeper”.
Ben: “I gave this movie two thumbs way up!”
Ben: “It’s true, it’s why I’m doing the show standing!”
I’m guessing that Roger Ebert pulled the old "I’m fired? Oh, no - I quit!" routine here…
Actually Stone, I believe he used the "I’m fired? Oh no, I’m dying" routine.
Mankiewicz: I give this movie three date-rapes out of five!
By this logic (the, my family is in movies therefore it’s in their blood and they’re qualified) I should be able to blow up bridges and people. Well, can’t hurt to try…where do these guys live?
We’re sure Gene Siskel is unavailable?
i wish my local clinic gave me 2 more chances to not be a d-bag.
America’s been waiting for the double first name void to be filled ever since ‘Cult Jam’ went back to work at the mall.
i’m immediately snatching up stock in whatever company is this show’s hair gel supplier
Ben & Jerry give the McConnogay Surfer Crap Movie a "Cherry Garcia"!
Ben & Ben, where movies will be rated with a system of gun fingaz. That’s right, here’s two pointin’ right at you, chief.
Michelle, by the same logic, I should be allowed to judge haggis cookoffs and/or scalping competitions, but you won’t see me volunteering to toss the caber at a pow-wow any time soon.*
*Because I’m like 50% less douchebag than either one of these two, but I digress.
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