‘DONKEY PUNCH’ HAS A TRAILER
07.16.08As most of you no doubt already know, a "donkey punch" refers to the act of punching a female (a male works too, I suppose) in the back of the head just prior to ejaculation during doggy-style anal or vaginal intercourse, so that the muscles of the anus or vagina contract. "Donkey Punch" may also refer to a sweet concoction, heavy on the alcohol, served at parties in the hopes of more easily facilitating a chick to let you donkey punch her. Or so I’ve heard.
What you may not know is that there’s also a movie called Donkey Punch opening this weekend in the UK. And yes, the Very Bad Things-esque plot revolves around an actual donkey punch. It promises to be a classy, high-brow affair, like the time I invited people over to watch a slideshow of the shits I took on vacation. If you’re still confused about donkey punching, check out Patrice O’Neal discussing it on Fox News, after the jump.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Huebel-gyllenhaal-carell-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
Yeah, I got nothing.
I once did it to a girl but used an icepick instead of my fist just so I could yell "Who Spiked the Donkey Punch?!!"
Donkey Punch is like Jesus Juice but with half the sugar and twice the semen.
Bob just recycled my "Cunt Punch" joke.
a "donkey punch" refers to the act of punching a female in the back of the head just prior to ejaculation…
I thought it was just a funny way to piss off your gardener.
1. Patrice O’neal is a fucking genius.
2. Donkey Punch is good once you get past the smell.
a male works too, I suppose
Is Brett Ratner ghostwriting for Vince now?
This is profiling I tell ya. I didn’t kill that chick, it was my unwashed Mexican friend, Sanchez.
I smell Oscar.
If you name your production company Optimum Releasing, you pretty much have to pick up Donkey Punch.
I smell Oscar.
The dude that lives in a trash can on Sesame Street? You’re doing it wrong, then.
You can do it if your lady is riding you reverse cowgirl too, but then it’s called a Street Fighter Uppercut.
Ok, guys. Have fun w/ your Hodey Punching. I gots to get some dinner before rehearsal.
Woo hoo.
How is it that a British suspense film starring two Brian Austin Green lookalikes ends up with a movie title that should have National Lampoon’s in front of it?
My ex wife was into Donkey Punching. My problem was that I couldn’t convince her that punching ME in the back of the head wasn’t the way it worked. Especially when we weren’t having sex.
BYE JACK!
I hope they don’t release this for eight months and just keep leaking new "exclusive" trailers and set pics because, you know, building hype like that is awesome.
Something something reference to popular arcade game from childhood something Donkey Kong Punch. Hilarity ensues.
Rotty, not only do I hope they build up the hype and anticipation for this movie, but I also hope they charge $40 apiece for tickets, just to make you pucker your asshole right as you’re getting set to release all that pressure.
In related news, Posterboy NYC altered the poster for this by photoshopping Miley Cyrus’s head on it and no one cared.
Man that has the be the most realistic fat suit Eddie Murphy has ever put on. "Patrice O’neill" has got to be my favorite character of his now. I wish I could congratulate him but he’s probably out with Ratner right now tranny hunting for Beverly Hills Cop 4 "preperation".
By the way, Obama just left campus and he gave me (although there was a crowd, I’m fairly certain he meant it only for me) the "thumbs up" sign. So, now I’m voting for Lance.
You may not be able to see the smokestacks on that Ohio Boat they’re on in the trailer, but I would recognize a Cleveland Steamer anywhere.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week.
I took the term "Donkey Punch" out of context one time. Now, I’m never allowed back to Tijuana.
For the advertisements of this movie, they bought a giant boxing glove trailer that they plan to hook up between the truck and the giant Eddie Murphy head from Meet Dave.
This movie really fucks up the market for my script about a jazz musician who’s fallen on hard times.
The donkeys come from Tijuana to see the Luchador show.
Is a Donkey Punch trailer just a beer you drink after the punch. If so, I’m betting it’s Slits.
*Chodin returns from watching trailer*
First they ruin teeth in a vagina and now I’m supposed to be terrified of donkey punching? What next, some dude’s face caving in from a tea bag?
I will be horribly disappointed if this movie doesn’t involve a scene in which the characters enjoy making a delicious beverage by steeping hot water through a filter containing dried leaves.
Get yer damn dirty space chimp paws off my joke, Chodin.
All the characters meet at a nightclub named “The Violet Fungus” and get their hands marked with the place’s logo so they can re-enter.
My film idea for Barber Pole, which is about the time I gave a girl a bloody nose after I jizzed on her face was ruined by the Barber Shop movies. Now I have to call it The Candy Striper.
I want to release an action film called "Arabian Alarm Clock" where (not to ruin the ending, but) the only way to save the world is for the hero to rest his balls over someone’s sleeping eye sockets and then beat them in the forehead with his dick.
Honestly, I think I would’ve really enjoyed Angry Pirates of the Caribbean.
"…intercourse, so that the muscles of the anus or vagina contract."
See, this is why I never get sued: I make girls sign that contract first.
Imagine how different Super Smash Brothers would have been had the makers of F-Zero named their character Captain Donkey instead.
I want to release an action film called "The Turkish Gas Mask" where the enemy sprays lethal mustard gas into the atmosphere, and the only way to survive is to place a scrotum over your nose, to cover each nostril, and a dick in your mouth.
I hear Disney recently had to rename their movie about the finals of an all-girl one-on-one soccer tournament.
I want to make a movie were I have sex with lots of girls.
I’ll call it “Lord Humungous Gets Laid.”
Fuck yes.
I want to release a romantic comedy called "Standing Sexy Nine" where some poor shmuck can’t help but keep falling in love with all the women he performs standing sixty-nines with. Jessica Alba will not be in this.
The ideal action star for this movie would be Tony Danza. So that after he preforms the Donkey Punch he can ask "Who’s the Boss?"
I wrote a Christian motivational book called “Come On Your Knees”.
It didn’t sell very well because all the book stores put it in the erotica section.
I wrote a screenplay about a whole ocean of goats, but they told me to make it smaller. I came back with a lake of goats, but they told me to make it bigger. I think I nailed it in the final draft.
Right now, the dude who wrote ‘Rising Sun’ is feeling pretty bitter that they didn’t go with his script’s original title ‘Choke Fucked’.
So let me get this straight. Someone decided to make a psychological thriller called "Donkey Punch" and expect it to be taken seriously?
What’s next from Optimum Releasing? The story of a hard working immigrant coal miner who must contend with his young daughter dying of cancer, Antonio Sabato Jr. is "Dirty Sanchez."
Or how about a remake of the Poesiden Adventure and calling it "Glass Bottom Boat?"
They should make another Harry Potter movie where he an Hermoine do the nasty and call it “Harry Potter and the Wizard Sleeve.”
A nation of little girls is going to be devastated when they show up for "Strawberry Shortcake."
Trust me, "Rusty Trombone" is not the sequel to Mr. Holland’s Opus.
I want to release a comedy called "Dog in The Bathtub". Where the whole movie is about how troubling it is to shove your nutsack in a girl’s ass.
I want to release a Zombie thriller about how I came in a girls eyes and she couldn’t see, so she walked around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
I want to see a zombie movie where everybody realizes right away that eating brains is not normal and that the zombies cannot fucking run and so they shoot them all in the head and scene . . . my zombie movie is 48 seconds long. Much like Fek’s love life.
That movie reminds me of that time my belly rub went all wrong. I don’t want to talk about it.
A donkey pouch is where I keep my extra keys
New post, fartknockers.
I have a screenplay ready for my buddy cop thriller "Eiffel Tower."
Man, and i was just about to enter the fray with my new Crimson Pirate avatar, ahahahahaha.
I met the guy who wroteh this film with Olly Blackburn in San Fransisco and he’s actually one of the funnyest motherfuckers I ever met! We were in teh oldest bar in California doing kareoke and shit that guy can’t sing. Anyway film looks crap…..
Or how about a remake of the Poesiden Adventure and calling it "Glass Bottom Boat?"
Catching up from late yesterday, my pirate avatar fucking loves this idea.
We were in teh oldest bar in California doing kareoke and shit that guy can’t sing.
You mean the place in North Beach that smells like a sweat sock full of armpits?