BLAH BLAH COMIC BOOKS SUPERHEROES
07.23.08
Bryan Singer (Superman Returns, X-Men) is in negotiations to produce Capeshooters, which of course is a comic book about superheroes.
J.P. Lavin and Chad Damiani will write the screenplay, which follows two down-on-their-luck slackers who specialize in shooting videos of superheroes. They find themselves on the run when they uncover evidence that a legendary superhero actually is evil. The story is based on an upcoming graphic novel by Rob Liefeld.
That’s right, upcoming, meaning it’s based on a picture book for stupid people that isn’t even out yet. But hey, maybe these Lavin and Damiani guys are some kind of geniuses that can turn a half-assed idea into solid gold. Who are they?
Damiani and Lavin are writers on Ryan Seacrest’s KISS-FM morning show and also work on "American Idol." [THR]
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Sorry, that was just me pounding my head on the keyboard.
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I’ve got this awesome idea for a comic book and/or graphic novel.
/holds hand out
Holy shit, did anyone else see that fin? Over there, by the ramp!
DUN DUN DUN!!
CAPTAAAAIAIAIIIIIIAIAAAIIIIIN CAMEL TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!
Wu Tang Clan of the Cave Bear
Nice commemorative plates, Captain Package.
Fuck…does this mean we have to stop coming up with movie/band puns? Because that’s been the highlight of my week so far. I say we just continue it in here.
The Texas Alice in Chains-saw Massacre
No movie for Furry Captain America yet? That guy was golden.
§ is a key on your keyboard? What are you, Swedish?
Where do I apply to be an American Idol writer?
FADE IN
Contestants sing.
FADE OUT
Pay me, motherfuckers, I’ll see you next week. I’m off to demand DVD residuals.
Man, sometimes watching Tron IS like Tripping on Acid! Thanks Wood Cabinet Guy!
If the superhero costume doesn’t get this dude laid all the time, I’m sure the card table with matching folding chairs has the ladies dropping trou like they’re on fire.
The movie turns out pretty boring when it’s revealed that the legendary superhero who’s actually evil is Aquaman and all they have to do is stay away from large bodies of water to avoid his wrath.
This guy’s arch-nemesis is ‘Ikea Man’.
That’s nothing. I once sold a script based on nothing but trailers for movies that hadn’t even been released yet. It’s called "Disaster Movie."
They should use the writers for the Donk & J in the Mornings (with C-Dog) show, because then it would be all about sodomy and drugs and sodomy.
When the hell are we going to get a "Liberty Meadows" movie? That’s the kind of "graphic" movie I want to see made.
This story is ripped from the pages of my life, if videos of superheroes means amateur porn. And why wouldn’t it, because having no gag reflex is a superpower indeed.
I have a theory that all of these comic-based films are being financed by one multibillionaire trying to get his deadbeat stepson to leave his basement.
That is shameless product placement under Tron’s left arm there. Hollywood makes me so cynical.
Check out the nipple half way down his chest on the right.
It’s Trinipple Man! His secret power is lactating into your coffee.
Are those commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint in the background? You sir truly are super.
Wait, how evil is he? Is he like, ‘use your supervision to see chicks naked’ evil, or is he ‘use your heat vision to set fire to an orphanage and let a couple of ‘em die before you save the rest so you can get good press’ evil?
I sometimes film the customers at the women only gym as they walk to their cars in spandex – does that count?
Stinky Peet,
wouldn’t it just be cheaper to ship the stepson to ComicCon and have a hooker in a Princess Leia Slavegirl costume scare him off the balcony of his hotel room?
That’s the perfect crime.
All apologies Stoney. I’m going to go back to my shitty apartment now. Up up and away!
Stoney, I call that "Talent Scouting"
Look in the kitchen! It’s a douche! It’s a guy who takes a lot of greasy shits! No, it’s Comic Book Movie Durst Man!
<== Just saw Kathy Bates’ nude seen in About Schmidt.
I’m just gonna act like that "seen/scene" thing never happened.
Ah, FUCK!
Damiani and Lavin are writers on Ryan Seacrest’s KISS-FM morning show
I am a big fan of their work, especially "Here’s {insert band name} with {insert song title by said band}" and "Over to Trudie for a news and weather update." Great stuff. They deserve every success.
"Use your supervision to see chicks naked" sounds like a good reason to consider that job in management.
You know, if these guys can keep a charisma black hole like Seacrest in the business for as long as they have, they may be more talented than we give them credit for.
He’s got the same stance I use to piss in the trough at Dodger Stadium.
Dammit Vilance! I thought we already had this discussion. Comic Books = Picture Books for Retards. NOW CHANGE THE DAMNED TAG!
Hold the phone…"Comic Book Movie"…no. No one would ever pay someone to make a movie consisting entirely of stupid references to other movies and bad pop culture impersonations. And even if they did, it’s not like they would release it and people would pay to see it. I should just get this pipe dream out of my head.
Unless…
Pictured: Priest-in-Disguise man and his sidekick Invisible Altar Boy
ookl, if that happens…
<scowls and points finger menacingly>
…I blame you.
Hmmm . . . does No Country For Old Mystery Men count? Are we even still playing? Who are you people? Where’d my meds run off to?
…Still Lives With Mom Man is in constant fear of Scary Koodie Christy from across the street who has tormented him ever since that unfortunate pant shitting episode in 6th grade gym. He still has the gray sweat pants with the red stripes Coach Sweeney gave him to wear home; he keeps them as a reminder…and a source of inspiration…
X-Men of Honor? Fuck! I missed the goddamned pun war and now you’re all ignoring me! FINE!
/holds breath
/passes out
Well it took slightly longer than I thought, but I’ve got good news guys. Fox just greenlit my pitch for "Comic Book Movie." It’s slated for a Labor Day release! I figure we can knock this script out in a weekend or so. Well, I shouldn’t say "script." It’s just a cocktail napkin with a drawing of Carmen Electra’s tits with a bat symbol across them. The studio execs said it was really "now."
New post, that what just happened.
Also, contractions frighten me. THAT what just happened.
Brooklyn no chance you write anything funnier then this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0426592/
I didn’t see it, but I am sure it is a total satirical farce in good taste, based loosely on the popular superhero movies of our time while incorporating Faustian tales of romance and a peck devilish chiding. Oh and lots of shit jokes.
it’s the Blue Beetle
At least it isn’t a video game movie.
Hold the phone…"Video Game Movie"…GET ME MY AGENT!
is it just me or did that guy steal handcocks sunglasses?
i gotta call bullshit on this one. Comic books are ‘picture books for stupid people’ but I’m still washing film drunk’s cum off of my PC because a batman movie was released last week. a fucking BATMAN movie. I hope the black panther shows up at your house and throws a brick at your head like you’re reginald denny.
i gotta call bullshit on this one. Comic books are ‘picture books for stupid people’ but I’m still washing film drunk’s cum off of my PC because a batman movie was released last week. a fucking BATMAN movie. I hope the black panther shows up at your house and throws a brick at your head like you’re reginald denny.
Damn! I gotta start locking my door.