50 MOVIES THAT OUTGROSSED MEET DAVE
07.15.08
UPDATE: Picture now with 100% more Schadenfreude Sloth
Bestweekever recently did a feature called "50 Movies That Out-Grossed Meet Dave In Their Opening Weekends". The top ten?
1. Soul Plane – $ 5,648,486
2. Good Burger – $7,058,333
3. Corky Romano – $9,023,173
4. Ballistic: Ecks VS Sever – $7,010,474
5. Son Of The Mask – $7,511,675
6. The Master of Disguise – $12,554,650
7. Juwanna Man – $5,474,270
8. Battlefield Earth – $11,548,898
9. Taxi – $12,029,832
10. Fear Dot Com – $5,710,128
Damn, that list is more embarrassing than getting pulled over with a trannie prostitute in your car. (Sorry, Eddie, it was an easy joke).
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lance, i cannot thank you enough for this blinding jolt of reality…you are a prince among men.
I’ve seen 4 of those movies. Fuck my life.
I like ho they have to differentiate the Man of the House titles between Tommy Lee Jones and Jonathan Taylor Thomas or "JTT" as I like to call him.
Somewhere, in a darkly lit room, Schadenfreude Sloth steeples his claws and cackles.
41. The missing basement surveilance camera tape from the Ramsey house.
Probably should have typed 51.
To how many of these movies did Eddie Murphy show up at the premier?
When I was kid, I found a sex tape that my parents made. Trust me, it outgrossed everything on that last. Meet Dave 2? That might win.
Basic is 17th? Honestly, I thought that was pretty fuckin’ good.
Hey Rot, I saw your parents movie. I was a lot better than Meet Dave. Take it from an unbiased viewer.
Yeah, but Pluto Nash cost nearly twice what Meet Dave did, yet only grossed 40% of Meet Dave’s $5.3 million. If my math is correct, Eddie Murphy needs to release two more sci-fi crapfests to start actually earning money.
I think i may have seen it too. Rot, your dad isn’t Vern Troyer is he?
IT!!! IT was better than Meet Dave.
FUCK!
Four of the Top 10 involve Saturday Night Live cast members. I just thought that was noteworthy, should Lorne Michaels read this while loading one bullet into a fucking gun.
What the hell is Good Burger about? Was it Macdonald’s response to Supersize me?
Good Burger was hilarious and awesome.
According to my 9 year old son.
Oh yeah, Taxi, is that the Queen Latifah vehicle? (Should have been called Fork Lift Truck.) Anyone else ever seen that? The suspension of disbelief required to accept that the
godguy playing her boyfriend would settle for her lumpen ass was beyond this fella.Couldn’t Kenan Thompson take a hint from Kel and just fall off the face of the Earff?
Good burger was a comedy about jolly fat black people with low paying jobs and things of that nature.
Not counting the Police Academy movies (can you say, "USA Up All Night"?) and the Bill & Ted movies, can anyone guess the one movie on that list I have seen? (It should be a pretty easy guess…)
Near misses:
Ladybugs – $5.1 Million
Tron (in 1982) – $4.7 Million
Glitter (10 days after the WTC attack) – $2.4 Million
Son of the Mask, Fek?
Nigga, please!
I thought Sarah Jessica Parker was fantastic in Hidalgo, BTK.
I watched Good Burger on HBO one day. One of the most insanely awful films in history.
Just had a glance at imdb for Good Burger. Sinbad was in it. *makes the sign of the cross* Also listed were the two rather wonderfully named Nezester Ponder and Chonique Sheed. Those are real showbiz names. Wonder what they’re up to now.
I know you’ve seen Titanic. Right? I thought guys had to watch it once with their ladies so they could nut on their faces in return….
I swear to God I didn’t know they made a Crocodile Dundee in LA movie. yikes
Chonique Sneed. My apologies to all the Chonique fans out there.
"Wonder what they’re up to now"
Probably their fourth year in juvenile hall.
Also, where the women at today?
I swear to God I didn’t know they made a Crocodile Dundee in LA movie. yikes
The correct word is ‘crikey’, you inglorious bastard.
I swear to God I didn’t know they made a Crocodile Dundee in LA movie.
The stingray that speared Steve Irwin saw it. He got the wrong Australian crocodile guy.
So far, no to:
Chonique has a myspace page (with the longest url in history)
http://tinyurl.com/57bhnj
Looks like Nezester’s light burnt so very brightly. Can’t find dick on her.
This just goes to show that if you aint got Peter Cetera on the soundtrack, you aint got shit.
<— Fat asshole (me) in a sombrero.
Really, where the white women at?
Uh, the JTT Man of the House, Fek?
Bring back "worf-che" That is all.
or is it Chorf?
According to howmanyofme.com, Meet Dave made about $1.47 for every person in America Named David.
Although there are fewer Richards than Davids, I think they would have made more had they named it "Meet Dick"
I think I just chorfed.
Meet Dick is a 30% better title than Meet Dave.
Make it "Dick Meat", and I’ll see it twice.
Two things:
1) A friend of mine actually worked at Nickelodeon and eventually, on Good Burger. He told me his job was to help the white studio executives remember which one was Kenan and which one was Kel.
2) Crocodile Dundee in L.A. should sound familiar to anyone who plays fantasy sports. The head of ESPN’s fantasy coverage, Matthew Berry (aka "The Talented Mr Roto") was the head writer on that film, and he’s often cited it as the reason he changed careers.
Joining this list soon? Dark Knight.
Joining this list soon? Dark Knight.
Burnsy, are you from the future? Quite a bold prediction.
Make it "Beat Dick" and it’s a movie about what you people do at work all day.
Joining this list soon? Dark Knight.
Fuck, Burnsy! Throw out a "SPOILER" before you say that shit.
Make it "Beat Duke" and it’s my dream job.
Fag.
Takes one to know one, homo.
True, but it doesn’t take one to blow one.
oopsie, I forgot to call "firsties".
I’m willing to bet that just the popcorn sales from Dark Knight will gross more that Meet Dave and it’s concession sales of Old E and apple Jolly Ranchers combined.
Dudes, Dark Knight hasn’t made a fucking dollar yet.
Fat Asshole In A Sombrero Sez: No one has guessed yet! I will give you a hint:
Mortal Kombat:Annhiliation
I could outgross this with "Greet, Dave!", a documentary about the retarded guy at WalMart shouting "HELLO!" at fat housewives for two hours.
Burnsy, Michael Keaton ordered 35 Gotham City Pizzas for the retard version of him from Multiplicity. How can they not be swimming in cash like Scrooge McDuck?
Has too Burnsy. I’m wearing my Dark Knight underroos right now.
Ok. Maybe they are just tighty whities with Batman’s insignia Sharpied on them, but little kids don’t know any different.
Sorry guy – Dark Knight’s made many dollars. It made twenty four of mine when I ordered my tix early. It’s also sold out all IMAX showings in New York and it’s the third highest presale ever. It’s made quite a bit of fucking dollars.
I should’ve remembered it’s not Facetitious Friday yet.
Face-tits?
SWEET!
Fat Asshole In A Sombrero Sez: Obviously Burnsy was being sarcastic, you fuckwits.
Fek, sadly I wasn’t.
The dude likes pizza, and he has a wallet, Steve.
Me either. My Mom’s gonna be pissed when these underwear ruin the whites.
Does anyone know where I can find the BO numbers for Birth of a Nation?
We’re gonna eat a dolphin.
Pauly, if I were Mexican, I would swear we were related.
Does anyone know where I can find the BO numbers for Birth of a Nation?
Luch, I know you were kidding, but I looked into it and Birth of a Nation made about $18 million in it’s time. Adjusted for inflation, that translates to roughly $350 million by today’s standards.
I just spoke with Christian Bale this morning. Iasked him, "Christian, how come you’re such a big star, yet the papparazzi don’t follow you like they do Zac Efron or Britney Spears?"
He said "What are you doing in my house?! SECURITY!!!"
He’s so funny.
New Up
You can find my BO numbers for Girth of a Nation in the bottom of my drawers.
* That was total run, not opening weekend
http://www.filmsite.org/birt.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_of_a_nation
I can’t believe the Jessica Alba crapfest "Honey" didn’t make the list ($12 mil).