Here’s Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas assuring us that when he plays Vega in the upcoming Street Fighter movie, he ain’t gonna be some kinda homo like in the videogame. He is after all a rapper-slash-dancer. Real, consider yourself kept.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Tooth-Fairy-Main-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Candy-Land-Sandler-Happy-Madison-150x150.jpg)
UPROXX Best of The Web
There are 139 comments about:
Seriously, did anyone ever play someone other than Blanka?
Why, there’s the same number of men in this clip as there were the last.
But does he save the rec center?
I would bet my last dollar that Raul Julia’s corpse, today, could kick this dipshit’s ass from now until rapture.
I too am a raper-slash-dancer.
Oh, wait…
Hey Michelle, wanna see our avatars make out?
Ok, maybe not.
Wait, there’s more than one guy in the Black-Eyed Peas? Color me
Baddsurprised.I read Fergie caught this fruitcake wearing her best pair of boots and beat him into a three-day coma.
Can we cut off her head and put mine on? Then yes, yes I would like that very much.
Fergie throws a mean Haduken.
If he can’t do a Claw Roll, I will throw shit at the projection screen.
If anyone is gonna have Catherine Bell’s
body head titslove, it’s gonna be me."See most AIDS patients are all skinny and corpse looking, but I’m an AIDS patient that brings it."
Will the Jap dude from the Black Eyed Peas be playing the Dim-Sum street vendor?
If he can’t do a Wall Leap Suplex then I’m going to cum in the popcorn at the theater.
And it’ll be a angry nut, too.
I bet Taboo loves it when random strangers shout his catchphrase at him in the street "Da plane, Boss. Da fuckin’ plane."
Seriously, did anyone ever play
someone other thanBlanka?Just because Taboo looks like Vega’s mask, doesn’t mean the motherfucker should play Vega.
The only Vega that I’ve ever seen that was hardcore and edgy was one a dude had in highschool that he put a small block 350 in and could get the front tires off the ground when he left the line.
Flange
Unfortunately, Taboo was fired on the first day of filming when the director yelled, "Action!" and he just stood there tapping his fingers on a table.
Robert Mammone?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0541120/
This guy wants to be badass so bad he can taste it. He’s tired of having to be "The weird guy who screams ‘Yeah! Yeah!" behind Will.I.Am at Obama rallies." He wants his own thang!
In related news, my pizza delivery boy drives a Vega. I order a pie, he says "Don’t worry, I’ll bring it."
Awesome. Don’t forget the napkins this time, douchebag.
I just hope that in one of the fights, one of the characters punches and kicks wildly but doesn’t seem to be in control of his own body. Then, he finds out how to do a special move 2/3rds of the way into the fight and just keeps repeating it until the other guy destroys him.
That’s the Street Fighter I remember playing.
After this, Vega stars with six Asian kids in his off-Broadway debut, Dance Dance Revolution.
Vega is the guy from Double Dragon, right?
keyHo, I call that my Mortal Kombat II Baraka Strategy.
Geez Stone, you kiss your Cup O’ Soup with that mouth?
You might be the coolest Dad on Earff.
Fek, Blanka kicked ass! Good reach plus he could spin and electrocute opponents. And he bit the shit out of em’!
My little Cup ‘O Soup is a tough little man. He doesn’t tolerate losers who forget to bring napkins.
If i was controlling Taboo in Street Fighter i’d make him continually punch himself in the face. Soundtrack by the Murton Colliery Brass Band.
http://www.murtoncollieryband.com/
You should teach him to use his sleeve like a real man.
He is a gentleman. He was very embarrassed after pissing all over the pediatrician this morning.
Speaking of peeing uncontrollably, does anyone else have the strange desire for olive flavored, root beer vodka?
Sounds like you’re drinking for two JHC. Immaculate.
Yes, JHC. On the rocks. And Stone, there’s nothing wrong with jumping on the golden shower train a little early in life.
Is that an invite for me to piss on you ercrap?
If you know the magic word, then yes, ptast.
And don’t give me any of that “please” bullshit.
OK, i want to go home and take the Are You Emo? quiz on the banner add. Because I have stupid colored chuncked hair, stupid fucking thrift store clothes, I blog about being a whinny little cunt on my MySpace page, I suck off dudes at buss stations for $5, I sweep floors at the guitar store, so I’m thinking I might be an emo fuckoid.
is it "now!"
B===D—– (.Y.)
Weeeeeeeee!
<pee shivers>
Aptas, If all of that is true, then I just have one question.
What bus station?
fek i only played blanca, guile or ryu
SONIC BOOM!!
*chodin pulls up to stop light. parks his car and gets out to take a shit in the intersection*
Vroom-vroom, assholes.
You lying cunt snake.
chod, you don’t happen to drive a Vega do you?
I know you are but what am I?
Say, I could go for a sugar sandwich like a mother fucker.
Dump truck, JHC…
…guys like what, what, what? All night longgggggg, let me see that thoooonnnggggggggg.
I just laughed out loud at straddling and slapping to bone. Quick, pretend to pass out.
You should have worn a tie today: you can pretty much get away with anything if you’re wearing a tie (except for the fucking smell).
No you can’t you lying cunt snake. People know better. Especially if you’re giving scripts. It’ll smell like McCormick’s vodka and an outdoor volleyball match.
There is NO Street Fighter wiffout Zangief. You don’t like it? Go fuck yourself. Not you chodin, you’re probably doing it already anyway. In that case, continue.
Oedipus just called and ordered a sugar sandwich. You know anything about this, Chod?
If they’re ever going to make another movie based on a fighting game, my choice is Super Smash Brothers. What a fucking mess that would be.
Keyhod, was Hidden Valley requested on the side?
No, but he did want a grape Fanta.
GRAPE DRINK, NIGGA!
Dude, movie or not, I’m still pumping quarters into Tabbo’s ass.
Tabbo is what Taboo does to stay in fighting shape.
Grape Fanta sucks. I’d rather have Dr. Thunder.
I’d rather slob on a knob than drink grape Fanta…
…and then let an Acura MDX back up over my pelvis.
*Pauly enjoys a good laugh, takes a sip from his piss boot and spits it out*
Ok! Which one of the ladies here pissed in the boot? There’s something "ovarian" about that taste……
Dr. Thunder taste like beer and armaretto. Again something "ovarian"
The worst part about making another Street Fighter movie, is the whole part about making another goddamn Street Fighter movie, ya’ lying cunt snakes.
Chodin are you going to the sauna at Globo Gym tonight? Maybe you should try subtlty this time. Of course, if tact doesn’t work, just give him your sweatshirt and walk him home in the rain.
I guess they saw the first Street Fighter and decided "Well, can’t fuck this up anymore than it is already. LET’S DO A RE-MAKE!"
Subtlty is the lying cunt snake’s abbreviation of subtlety.
Oedipus does not care what you people think about his choice of drinks. He’s one bad motherfucker.
Heather…your spelling is God “aweful”.
I preferred Way of the Exploding Fist on the Commodore 64. Especially when you got to punch that bull in the face. There should be more animal punching in the movies. Conan and the camel; Mongo and the horse; Batman and the shark…
True story time: My brother would always play Ken and whip my ass at SFII, that is why I hate pretty boys to this day.
However, he could never beat me in Mortal Kombat if I played Sub-Zero!
I know. I’m so em-bar-ras-sed.
Fek’ – Sub-Zero was the poor mans Scorpion. Fag.
I used Ryu because I’m a sucker for a brunette.
I’m a sucker for Umbros.
I like to sport, what I call, an "Umboner".
I rocked Glacius and Fulgore on Killer Instinct Gold; that makes me cool, right?
Anyone have the middle name Lynne here?
Phew! I fucking HATE THAT NAME!
Donk, I was all about Cinder and Spinal.
A Street Fighter remake? I need to get that tribe from ‘The Gods Must Be Crazy’ to take this idea and drop that shit off the edge of the earth.
Sub-Zero was the poor mans Scorpion.
You are so fucking dead.
Sub-Zero and Scorpion were dick-riders to Reptile.
All those fags looked like Power Rangers to me. Liu Kang
atewas my dog.Scorpion fucked Sub-Zero gay, and Reptile jacked off to the internet video of it.
I’m releasing a movie called "Meat Fighter". It’s just footage of me beating the piss out my dick.
I’m pretty sure that once you say "he’s bringin’ it" you’ve already outed him as flamboyant. And by that I mean Tom Cruise.
Also, did anyone else notice that when he says "he has a huge… cu, uh cult following…" he really meant to say cock?
I always thought that Shang Tsung in MKII looked like Bud Bundy.
Yeah? Well…um…Goro was the ultimate circle jerk pivot man!
Goro could finger bang the crotch out of an elephant.
Around 3 years ago, I made a kid cry, at the arcade, I whooped his ass so hard at MK4
He was like 13. A little Sexman looking fucker he was.
Hey, do you fuckers remember Lethal Enforcer?
That shit was dope…and then I grew up and realized that it sucked.
Lethal Enforcer? It had that chick with the tank-top hoping out of a shot-up cop car and some other fucking lump ass cop?
I always thought that the gun was to big for her and she’d shoot her tits off,
You know my favorite game at the arcade? The “asking the community college kids if you can be next on the pool table” game.
About 6 years ago, I was playing Super Smash Brothers in the playland at McDonalds. This six-year-old burn victim with one good hand and one mangled claw came up to challenge me. I took it easy on him for about 30 seconds until the little monster started talking shit on me. He was yelling things like "Ha, I’m kicking your ass, you don’t stand a chance!"
He never landed another shot on me. He cried and I felt good about it.
Pretty sure I’m going to hell.
My least favorite game at the arcade: the “waiting for you to enter your goddamn initials” game.
You know my favorite game at the arcade? The "Throwing shit at people and playing it off like it wasn’t you" game.
You know my favorite game at the arcade? The "Almost getting caught stealing at the mall and hiding in the arcade" game
You know my favorite game at the arcade? The “When did my Orange Julius start tasting like piss?” guessing game.
You know my second-favorite game at the arcade? Getting cruised by old married dudes who lose interest when they find out I’m not as young as I look.
First-favorite game? Having the "Come to Chris Hanson" talk with their wives.
You know my favorite game at the arcade? The “Hey, that machine over there just ate a hundred dollars of mine, so you should porbably just give me a hundred dollars” game.
<— Durst.
You know my favorite game at the arcade? Virtua Fighter 5.
What? So I’m not good at that obtuse, circumspect shit like you guys. Fuck you very much.
You know my favorite game at the arcade? The “Woah bro, she was gaming by herself- how was I supposed to know that I couldn’t touch her boobs?” game.
I must get my drank on. NOW!
I was "girl" in Ninja Warriors.
And I see I’m late to the party once again.
Here’s Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas assuring us that when he plays Vega in the upcoming Street Fighter movie, he ain’t gonna be some kinda homo like in the videogame.
That sounds like when I convince girl to not worry about a condom.
Already beat you to it Pauly. Had 2 Pimm’s Cup cocktails at the Napoleon House for lunch. If’n you don’t know what a Pimm’s Cup is . . . BRING YO’ ASS TO NEW ORLEANS AND I WILL FUCKIN BUY YOU ONE!
Cuz otherwise I really can’t describe it.
*chodin signals waitress by poking his pointer finger through the “O” circle that he’s formed with his other hand*
Hey lying cunt snake, a round of piss boots for me and my lovers.
I remember unplugging Street Fighter during the final match of a tournament in which I placed 15th (out of 15). That arcade closed down three weeks later.
You would think that after yesterday’s disaster that made me leave work early, I would learn my lesson and not drink, but no, I don’t learn good.
Pauly, I apologize for thinking that was a hefeweizen and not the glorious piss boot that it obviously is.
And Golden Axe
And back to work : (
Michelle, it’s a frothy batch this one.
Golden Axe? Holy shit, Michelle, I seriously got hard over that one!
best game ever…well not ever but I pumped a lot of quarters into that machine. awww yeah, I said pumped.
I’m procrastinating.
Hi Vlance’s MOM!!!
I was fucking poor growing up, so I had to get good at video games to make my quarter last as long as possible.
Fek, I use to hustle kids at the local Dog Track arcade. I could make $1 last 4 hours.
I just hung out near the rich kid who didn’t have any friends and pretended to like him. We weren’t dirt poor, I just had more fun playing on that kid’s quarters and saving mine for the vending machines.
VLance
lol
Looks like Catch Me’s not the only one who’s drunk tonight.
Unless Mark it Zero is being quite literal, in which case, I still don’t get it.
Tune in to my radio show tomorrow when we’ll be discussing the difference between non-posts and autism. Also, Gene Shalit will stop by to challenge VLince to a death fight.
As a tie-in to Burnsy’s AfterPOON drive, Donk & J will be featuring a live, in-studio Hellen Keller impersonator. Should be an exciting time!
Hey – autism is a gift, like having superpowers. We should all be so lucky.
I thought I had Hamburgers disease but turns out that’s not really real.
True story: I was almost mowed down by a semi crossing the road to the Putt Putt after I snuck out when I was about 10 to go play video games. My slutty friend told me that if I licked my teeth (she wasn’t a very good slut) that boys would pay for my video games. I called her a dirty cum sucking road whore and went home still shaken by my near death experience. In real life I think I called her a butt-head. Well excuuuuuse me for spicing it up a bit!
Michelle – it’s not your "teeth" you need to lick to get the boys to pay for stuff.
You’re right, she wasn’t a very good slut.
Hey did anyone ever find out what the hell happened to Lala?
It’s a good way to scare off the homeless or would be muggers. I lick my teeth and yell YUM and then crack my biggest lunatic smile. Gets you a seat on the subway sometimes too. And at Dunkin Donuts they assume you’re Rachel Ray and hand you a free hole.
he he free hole.
I thought I had Hamburglars disease… rabble, rabble, rabble.
When I want something from girls I lick my teeth at them. They usually just ask me to let them out.
Heh heh… ass burgers.
If The Boy Who Could Fly has taught us anything, it’s that having autism gives you the power to defy fundamental aerodynamic principles. Also, it’s not water in that squirt gun.
New.