WATCH THE NEW TRAILER FOR BABYLON A.D. AFTER THE JUMP
The new trailer for Vin Diesel’s latest Xtreme thrill ride Babylon A.D. begins with some awesomely brainless exposition (delivered by Vin Diesel, who sounds like he accidentally inhaled a stud belt):
Save the planet… What for? Life’s simple: kill or be killed. The Survivor’s Code. My code. And it all sounds great until the day you find yourself confronted by a choice… A choice to make a difference… or to walk away and save yourself. I learned something that day. Too bad it was the day I died.
Hate Vin Diesel all you want, you can’t deny he occupies a unique action movie niche. Other actors might shoot people, blow stuff up, take their shirts off and act sullen, but only Vin Diesel kills bad guys while riding a snowmobile, or grinding a rail on some rollerblades, or skysurfing. He stares death in the face and says, “Hey, bro. Heard the new Linkin Park album?” And then he punches it in the face! OO WHA A AA AA!
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lance, you missed a ‘moy noym is chev chelios’ moment on this post…what’s up man?
"Requiem for a Dream" as the trailer music? they may as well have chosen "It’s Rainin’ Men"
Side note, I suddenly have a taste for Mountain Dew.
Is this a story about lurve or how when you’re running from the man you’re likely to hit it with your bodyguard/transporter no mater how featureless his face or indiscernible his words? I think we all know how that goes…am I right ladies?…ladies?
It’s not much of code if he’s willing to go against it so easily. That’s the problem with this world no one has the courage to stand by their convictions. That’s why the pacifier sucked so much, if Vin had stood by his convictions, done some Extreme sports and punched some babies then that movie would of rocked.
Vin Diesel’s real name is Chesterfield Taintsore.
Vin Diesel has that stoic, devil-may-care attitude and coolness that just makes me want to hit him in the face with a hatchet.
My Grandma’s action movie is one three-minute clip that plays in a loop for two hours.
My Grandma’s action clip (it’s just a clip) involves putting out a lot of hard candy in a dish and feeding the dog baby carrots. Seriously that dog is going to turn orange.
maybe in real life (like a spielberg movie) something similar to this story could happen to Vin Deisel with the usually anticipated result…
http://tinyurl.com/6mhqsh
we can always hope
I love that requiem music but you can’t just pike another flicks soundtrack. it’s just lazy.
On another note this looks pretty good. For a stupid action movie.
My Grandma’s action movie involves feeding the cat sixty eight times a day while ignoring the smoke detector that has been activated because she’s been heating up a sandwich in the microwave for twelve hours.
Vin Diesel is another one of those actors who i would let suck me off and not even attempt to hide the fact that he did, unlike my freshman English teacher that sucked me off who looked like Rodney Dangerfield on a 6 month meth binge…that shit was embarassing and i’ve keep it a secret ever since.
My grandma’s action movie involves her sitting in a lounger, taping nickels to a birthday card.
i’m reminded of the doctor in ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’:
‘well, technically what we’re doing is brain damage. but it’s not serious, on-par with a night of drinking…’
since i’m not drinking anymore, i’m going straight for nail-in-the-head to avail my social anxiety from now on…that, or maybe i’ll watch this vin deisel movie…
My Grandma’s action movie includes turning off her oxygen tank and seeing how long she can go before she passes out.
I don’t like watching my grandmother’s action movie. It feels wrong to watch her go airtight with 3 dudes…
The Mighty Fek’lhr would say that this looks better than a virgin that sells Icees to Mary Kate Olsen in NYC, but His mother taught Him not to lie.
NEW UP!
Vin Diesel’s career is the answer to a question that nobody asked.
WHA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
My wife likes vin diesel’s body because it reminds her of my own.
Bryce, they are your brothers and you should be proud.
In the screencap, Vin looks like an MMA
practice bagsparring partner.The Mighty Fek’lhr has been seeing some headlines that Kate Hudson is dating LANCE! Could this be true???
My Granmas action movie is her sat playing solitare and smoking for 8 hours a day. maybe stopping to do a puzzle for a bit, but smoking, always smoking. She’s like 82 and smokes and 200 a week.
JHC: Are you saying you’d be happier watching if Vin got a facial? I think so…
200 cigarettes a weeks? What an affleck
Nom, how’d the AlloCad test go yesterday?
So has it ever been confirmed if Vin is gay? I have always thought he was. We can settle this argument right now.
All chicks here who have slept with Vin raise your hand.
… None.
All dudes who have been sucked off by Vin in a public bathroom raise your hand.
… *raises hand*
Yeah easily 200 cigarettes a week. I have no idea how she’s not dead. I’ve never known such a heavey smoker and she’s still going strong, it kind of makes you wonder how honest they’re being on those packets.
This ISN’T my Grandma’s action movie. It is, however, my brain damaged cousin’s action movie.
well joker, I just opened up their network drive, found the drawing number in question, and saved it on the local computer. They were impressed. The stupid yes or no question test I didn’t like though. It was trying to trick me.
affleck: have you considered the possibility that your granny is actually a cyborg killing machine sent back from the future?
I have.
I see Vin has grown some stubble.beardyness for the role, just so we know he is an ACTOR and is taking the role SERIOUSLY.
Either that or it is catching net for all the man muck flung at his face in bathrooms.
My Grandma’s action movie is wondering why the cops are at the house down the street.
i did Bryce, I did. but I’m doubting it. I think she wants to die. I told her I was getting married the other week, but the wedding wouldn’t be for 2 years, she looked at me as if to say "you mean I’ve got to try and live longer. I fucking hate you"
My Grandma’s action movies are telenovelas.
My grandma’s action movie smells really bad.
Your grandma’s new stupid comedy movie is up.
My grandma swears she remembers Vin Diesel from the old neighborhood, he used to drive the tomato truck.
My Grandma’s action movie involves Wallace and/or Gromit
New up
My grandma’s action movie ends with her being found dead in a ditch by the side of a remote country road. There was no foul play, i think she was just mental.
As there’s a new post up and no one ever comes back to these old posts i think i might take my pants off, or tap dance or someting.
someting is jive talk for something. Word up.
I like your moves saucy squirrel!
The line that they’re saving for the redband trailer is:
"You’re risking your life for me; why?"
"Cause you look like the type of girl who’ll let me put it in your butt"
It’s like if Chronicles of Riddick decided to ass rape Fifth Element and they had some weird ass love child.
Was Mila Johovovitch too busy filming "Resident Evil 500: Does anyone watch these fucking movies"?
KASSOVITZ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO