American Idol judge Simon Cowell, aka Bitchtits McFlattop, is producing One Chance, a movie about Paul Potts that recently got the greenlight at Paramount. Potts was born in 1970, five years before Pol Pot came to power in Cambodia and killed 26% of the population. So, for the record, don’t blame his parents for being ignorant, they’re just dorky and uncreative.
An amateur opera singer and mobile-phone salesman, Potts was riddled by a streak of bad luck when, on a lark, he auditioned for "[Britain's Got] Talent" in 2007. His on-air performances ended up bowling over audiences and judges, including Cowell. He went on to win the show and become a media and YouTube sensation, eventually going on a global music tour and releasing an album. [THR]
His success so set the world aflame, in fact, that I just heard of him five minutes ago. Screenwriter Justin Zackham, who previously wrote The Bucket List will be handling the screenplay, and if he plays his cards right, this could big. Like, From Justin to Kelly big. From Kelly to Pol Pot, they could all it. Because when your entire family’s been killed by the agrarian policies of a maniacal dictator, all it takes is a song.
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Must resist making teeth/British joke……sooooooo difficult.
::stabs scissors through scrotum::
That’s better.
Wait, what?
Did he win the Special Olympics?
Quit making fun of Sexman’s father.
Ok, I have a question. Do the retarded people in Britain sound smarter because of the accent? Discuss
This movie will one day be listed as a key inspiration by American Idol 2025 winner Bobby Moogobee.
Somebody should tell Cowell that American audiences won’t go see a flick about some poor hard-on-his-luck schlub that rises to fame unless that schlub is a hot chick with a huge rack.
Am I the only one who thinks he looks like one of the Ripley/Alien hybrid failures?
"…if he plays his cards right, this could big"
So says Zog Durst.
His teeth have a harelip.
If he and William Hung made out they could make a Sexman
This is how fancy the British are, we save rec centers with our music, they save opera houses. Well la di da your Preakness. I’m not even listening to you anymore, I can’t hear you over my heart.
*three snaps and a hand-to-the-face for good measure*
Poor bastard ate part of his front tooth.
that fat guy from boston legal should play him
I wonder how many beer cans he’s opened with his teeth…
Hee hee, his initials are P.P.
tee hee *skips off punching random old ladies on the street.
Is homeboy wearing a buttonless velcro tuxedo?
This guy looks like he could star in a Pole Smoke biopic.
William Shatner, Bex?
When Harry Knowles writes his glowing praise for this film, it will be titled:
CAMBODI-YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
He is really good. The only thing he spent his money on was fixing his teeth, he never actually quit his job at the cell phone place. And to that I say, "Get a fucking hot tub and drown some hookers you namby pamby Momma’s boy"
eibz we should be a vaudeville comedy team!!
Year Zero indeed. That picture needs one of those stars flashing, like in the retro toothpaste commercials. To be fair to the tubby Welsh twat, the first thing he said he was going to do with his prize money was fix his teeth. Whether he did or not, i couldn’t really tell you because i couldn’t give a fuck.
Well, due to excessive burning, we weren’t able to properly identify the body, but thanks to the teeth of the remains, we’ve been able to have our artists draw up a sketch of what he might have looked like.
Are you fucking serious? This looks like the thing I was terrified was living under my bed when I was five!
OK, this is either a ugly-ass Brit or a crotch shot of that chick from "Teeth"…
This dude is like a walking, talking Mighty Ducks movie.
and i meant michal badalucco from the practice not boston legal [www.imdb.com]
Paul is looking awfully pale.
He could use a little Khmer Rouge.
He went on to win the show and become a media and YouTube sensation,
Wait, so HE’S the "Maya-hee, Maya-haaa" guy? Why the fuck would I wanna see a movie about him?!?
Wait, his last name is Potts, like Mrs. Potts?
Is this that little fucking teacup from Beauty & The Beast all grown up?
Going up against the Paul Potts movie will be Larry the Cable Guy in "Gaydarfur Repairman"
This is the Chocolate Rain guy, right?
By Kahless’ Funky Bedwear! The Mighty Fek’lhr is impressed with how depraved this thread is. He has nothing to add.
It’s going to take some hot burly men to lift him up. Sounds like a sexy romp.
He’s even got the fucking chip in his tooth!
I like how they’re still trying to play it off like this guy was just some savant who wandered onto the show and sang opera after practicing in his shower between odd jobs. The guy had conservatory training and couldn’t break past being an understudy in the professional opera circuit. Good on him for trying to find another venue where he’d get heard, but it’s not like he’s actually an amateur.
Donk asks Is this that little fucking teacup from Beauty & The Beast all grown up?
His name was Chip.
damn you boPa must you ruin such a heart lifting story about hope and chipped teeff?
I don’t know why he quit the mobile phone biz. He would’ve made some mad money when the StarTac gets released in Britain.
He should be played by the retarded mailroom guy from L.A. Law.
In a related story, I’m apparently old as fucking dirt.
Hi Stinky, Im dirt, nice to meet you
Strange, I have some dirt under my nails right now. Do I know you?
Stinky, that would be brilliant.
You folks are forgetting that Larry the retarded janitor from LA Law also played the bad guy in Darkman, and ALSO WAS THE VILLIAN IN A SERIES OF HORROR MOVIES ABOUT A MURDEROUS DENTIST! Mr. Giggles, I think? So that would be playing against type to be this guy, I guess.
BTK, I suddenly want to what british weed is like.
(you see, because we’re talking aboutBritain and pot)Benny would nail the part.
It seriously looks like he tried to catch a hatchet with his teeth.
"No, no. I just need to you hold the baloon with your teeth. Stop trying to bite the axe, dumbass."
Pual Potts has that killer talent that will slay millions of families! T. Eff Turner - AICN
Dr. Giggles was only a family phsyician, so nevermind. Larry Drake is the actor’s name.
Corbin Bernsen was the mad dentist in "The Dentist." So that’s the LA Law connection that goofed me up.
New, now wiff Tarantino.
Pual Potts story will lift your heart high, right out your fucking chest! Crap Tastic – FilmDrunk
why in kahless’ name is kristen bell dating dax shephard?
Also, fourth the nomination for Benny from L.A. Law. I fuckin love that guy. But only as Benny. I do not love him as the villain from Darkman.
crap, you made me go back up and read the post again to see if his name really was Pual. Dick.
They’re making a movie about one of the Scoleri brothers? I love spinoffs, but this might be a little late.
His smile looks like the neighborhood kids hit a baseball through it.
this could big. Like, From Justin to Kelly big. From Kelly to Pol Pot, they could all it.
….all your base are belong to us?
Ugh – another rural starlet who just wants to sing will be brought down by the Hollywood Elite. Two years from now Paul Potts will be on wwtdd.com snorting coke off Lindsay Lohan’s back. Mark my words.
Oh, and Paul? you’ve got a little something in your teeth: a complete lack of teeth.