RANDY COUTURE IS… UH…
06.18.08
As a 44-year-old disputed UFC Heavyweight champion and complete, undisputed badass, you’d think it’d be hard to make Randy Couture look unintimidating. All the credit goes to the producers of the direct-to-DVD feature The Scorpion King 2. Way to take a guy famous for beating the crap out of younger, bigger men and turn him into someone who gives the kids a good mild scare on the way to the hay ride. RAWRRR!! Ha, just kidding, little buddy. Here, have a Butterfingers.
Prepare to be rocked like a hurricane, August 19th! I blame you for this, Dana White.
[Thanks to Liam for the tip]
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Nothing terrifies me more than arrows drawn in MS Paint.
It’s still better than Tito Ortiz’s poster for Little Women.
Scorpion King 2 -Waterwheel Belly Dance
Scorpion King 2 -Electric Rear Naked Choke
Did they photoshop his cauliflower ears out?
It’s nice to see Bull from Night Court is working again.
I like that they have the words "All-New Movie" printed at the bottom of the box so the average fan of Scorpion King movies doesn’t get confused.
Hay! Thay replayced mah almost-white guy wiff a reayul white guy!
I like how they couldn’t decide if they should have Randy or that woman’s rack be the focal point, so they just split the difference. I like it when a movie tells me, right up front, that they don’t give a shit about composition.
In related news…
I had 4 White Castle double cheeseburgers and some onion rings for lunch today and as soon as i got back to work, i took the nastiest shit i’ve ever taken in my life. As i was wiping, my middle finger poked right through the TP and inserted itself into my still shit covered asshole. After i got my ass cleaned, i ran to the sink and started scrubbing my hands with this antibacterial soap that smells like Spring Watermelons or something like that, but i could still smell the shit under my fingernails. Even after i bit them off, i can still smell it, so i guess i’ll just have to wait until i get home and let the dog lick my fingers. it works for my ass when i don’t get it clean, so why not?
BOOSH! HERE COMES THE BOOSH!
I’m partial to Autumn Watermelons.*
She’s a stripper at my local club.
Randy Couture stars in "Explosion At The Arrow Factory"
The box cover looks like the greatest epic porno ever produced.
"So hey, did you like 300? Well this movie has a shitload of arrows just like that!"
When Randy Couture is direct to DVD and Brendan Fraser a box office hit, you know the world is fucked up.
Most exciting post in the world up.
whoa whoa whoa…this movie is ALL new? Well then, I shall grab my bag of money and take 3. Thank you and good day.
Yeah, this is gonna hurt…
The budget is so tiny they just photoshopped the same arrow over and over again.
Kurgen: You hurt me.
road to be the #1 HW
1)defeat big tim and gonzaga
2)leave the biggest org in mma and not fight the #2 ranked HW
3)make shitty movie
4)lose to Fedor at affliction 2.
nice one Randy.