NEW WOODY ALLEN TRAILER
06.18.08
After the jump I’ve got the newest trailer for Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona, starring Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz, and Javier Bardem.
It seems to be based on the premise that if you have a Spanish accent, you can pretty much bang anyone you want. Seriously, you can just walk in the room and be like, “Buenas noches. My name ees José and I yoosed make a crap eeng my pangts.” Next thing you know you’re knee deep in poontang! Someone give me a chest bump!
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The surprising thing is that in Spain, my American accent nets the same result with the ladies as it does here. Disdain.
The Mighty Fek’lhr can’t believe he wore a suit made from hemp, ROFLKOTAL!
The Mighty Fek’lhr is floored that this has the same exact cast as His idea for an Irving Weber Bus Tour movie!
So, do they get naked, or what?
You know, it’s a sad state of affairs when a post about a pregnant woman getting hit with an anchor doesn’t even initiate a modicum of reaction (let alone a nomination). You guys rule!
When I go to job interviews I use my Spanish accent because then they have to hire me.
This will probably suck but at least there will be a couple of scenes i can jerk off to, so there’s that.
Flux-Javier Bardem and Woody Allen do!
Not once during that trailer did i get
the impression that this is a Woody Allen moviea boner. As for accents, my ruse of adopting an Ulster Unionist fire and brimstone accent got me fucking nowhere. "MOY ORSE!" probably needs Bryce as back up for that one.Finally! My collection will be complete!
Jew know…zat Javier he has ze sezzee. He haz eet all over. I luf heem.
BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE EASY TO ACCIDENTALLY THINK OF WOODY HARRELSON INSTEAD!
NORM!!!!!!
Hey you comemierda! Not to give away all the sacred info here,
it’s actually saying "Buenas noches" but you have to make it sound like Sean Connery doing a Spanish accent. Need to do the eyebrow and lip thing too.
Nevermind. Just watch Highlander.
Those of us that can pull it off are basking in the warm glow of vaginal secretions:
"You’re soaking in it now…"
fek what the fuck are you talking about?
This movie would be better if Bardem had the same haircut from No Country for Old Men. Then I could just pretend it was 4 lesbians.
A Woody Allen trailer would be a lot more likely to be defaced while driving from LA to NY as a publicity stunt.
until someone confirms scarjo boobie sighting in this film i do not want
Penelope Cruz really makes ScarJo look like over raised dough. I give her 5 years before she’s quadrupled in size.
She can’t be forgiven for making Tom Waits sound bad either
Bex-forget about Him, He is a lost cause.
BAAK GWAI!
from imdb==> Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material involving sexuality, and smoking.
fuck this movie
A Spanish accent may help get you panocha, but with the police, it will only get you arrested.
If you have a Spanish accent, you can pretty much bang anyone you want.
You have to look Spanish, too. Can you imagine James McAvoy pulling that shit on some girls at a club? I would just sit there and laugh.
I’m pretty blunt with the ladies when it comes to setting up threesomes, as well…
"Hey is that a Conducter’s hat you’re wearing? Because I swear it looks like you want to run a train. CHOO! CHOO!"
I was halfway interested in
beating off towatching this movie, until I saw the magic statement that mademade my penis softupset me:"Rated PG-13"
Meaning no Scarlett boobies. Fuck Woody Allen and his illegal-immigrant-rice-munching-dog-stealing wife/girlfriend/concubine.
Yeah, I prolly would’ve been more interested if this had an R rating. C’mon Woody, Roll the fucking dice!
Meh. Woody Allen was only good in Natural Born Killers, A Scanner Darkly and his character in cheers. But White Men Can’t Jump SUCKED.
I think I see ScarJo heading down that Farrah Fawcett / Meg Ryan career path, where by the time she’s desperate enough to show off her titties, there will be no one left who wants to see them.
Dude, Nommy, no bogarting Klingon material!
I would totally fuck Sally Field. Sorry Fek:(
I liked Woody Allen in Toy Story.
Apparrently the casting director got lazy and played word association for the Spanish leads at a married couples counseler’s office:
Counselor: Spain
Man: Penelope Cruz
Woman: Jarvier Bardem
Counselor: Excuse me a moment…*dials Woody Allen*
I was so sad when Woody Allen lost the baby.
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material involving sexuality, and smoking.
Ironically, these are the same subjects that originally earned ‘Teeth’ an X-rating. They cut the smoking scene.
ScarJo is going to have more beans in her than a fuckin’ burrito!
Anybody else see Redbelt? Talk about a woody Allen…
I thought Woody Allen did a hell of a job with Ohio State.
The guy with the vacuum cleaner on his back and all the keys on his belt just told me has has had several three-somes with Scarlett Johannson and Pnelope Cruz.
He told me he would bring in the pictures if I gave him twenty bucks.
I’ll post them tomorrow.
Woody Allen? Sure, but he woudn’t call her after.
I’ll also add the missing letters to the above comment.
I have a friend who saw Javier Bardem and was trying to be funny so he walked up to him, offered him a high five and said "Gimme some Chigurh, baby!"
Bardem killed him.
Also…..it may not be the accent that gets the babes to drop the knickers….so much as the "mucho dinero"…….you know…..like the actor……
Wait, is this really PG13? Why does god hate me?(Perhaps because i insist on spelling his name with a little"g".)
Oh and Nommi- White Men Can’t Jump was fucking-A cool.
"mucho dinero"
You mean Mucho Dinero, the Telenovela star who I heard married the woman in my Av?
Money train is woody allens best work
GRRR Jlos small puertorican titties
It’ok, Nom. We can ride a train on Sally Field.
For their honeymoon, Scarlett Johannsen packed some lingerie and massage oil. Ryan Reynolds packed a mining helmet and a canary.
NEW UP!
Aimless Leon……
Who is the woman in your avatar and where can I google the nude pics?
Penelope Cruz is the sexiest piece of ass Tom Cruise never had.
Seriously, why is it that every producer, director, actor, stunt man, and key grip west of Lake Tahoe has been balls deep in ScarJo, but she’s to prim and proper to show her cans for the camera? Fuckin’ broads….
I had that lcomment above oaded up a while ago when my phone rang, it’s worthless now.
/ chest bump
For the record, I’d fuck Javier Bardem, but only if he goes back to the pixie haircut.
New rule Javier, I don’t want to see you on film unless you are punching a hole on someone’s head with a cattle gun or something else badass.