Empire today has this new "banned" poster for Teeth, the boring movie with the provocative subject. The poster features an X-Ray image of lead character Dawn O’Keefe’s pelvis and her extra set of teeth. The teeth, however, aren’t her only problem. The poor girl clearly suffers from scoliosis.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/monsieur_lazhar__ver2_C-Tates-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Julia-Roberts-and-Armie-Hammer-in-Mirror-Mirror-2011-Movie-Image-600x354-150x150.jpg)
Perhaps she was ridden too soon?
/horse enthusiast
Good God, lay off the calcium.
Seriously, Burnsy. I’m no photoshop expert, but either her teeth are made from bone as dense as a rhinocerous’ horn or somebody there doesn’t know how to mess with opacity.
You know, if you take the spine out of the picture, that looks like one very pissed off ant.
Can’t they just wax that twat into normalcy?
Massengill mouthwash?
This makes The Mighty Fek’lhr feel less self-concious about His toll booth in His Vas Deferens. Something has to meter the traffic through there!
I found some teeth in my ex-wife’s vagina. They weren’t her’s.
<Dirty Hairy>
Can’t they just pull the fucking teeth?
</Dirty Hairy>
4 out of 5 vagina dentists agree, screwing with Trident helps whiten your "other" set of teeth.
Grandpa ain’t getting those dentures back.
Hey, wasn’t this a bit in a Cheech and Chong movie?
The same thing happened when my dog ate my arrowhead collection.
Nam veterans will hae flashbacks of tiger traps.
RIP Stan Winston. I’ll miss your cigarettes.
Oh yeah. Fuck Tiger too.
Five bucks says I can get in there and get the cheese before that thing snaps!
I heard her date left unexpectedly right after dinner. Turns out she had tuna breath.
Ohhh, so she’s a vampire down there…I guess that kind of makes sense.
Lance, how’d you get the blueprints for Nommy’s new wood chipper design?
She can floss with mooring rope.
She and SexMan would get all locked up.
..and ew
I’m no doctor, but shouldn’t those teeth be attached to some sort of bone?
boosh?
1. Agreed, terrible Photoshop work, that could have been really cool if they’d been a little more subtle.
2. Anyone not on a work box brave enough to hit the website listed in the corner of that poster?
She should let Sexman eat her out, that would scare those teeth into behaving.
At least she doesn’t have to take out her retainer at lunch. I bet when she sneezes though it flies across the room.
Since he seems to be MIA, I’ll say this for Erswi: Polio.
Pictured: Pillowpants.
Is this like the female equivalent of Fight Club, or something? If so, will there be a musical???
reminds me of the spiders in ‘Lost in Space’…
HOLY SHIT!!
FROM THAT SITE:
MYTH:
4. Hall and Oats were inspired by the notorious brief outbreak of Vagina Dentata in the earlier eighties, with the song Maneater.
KUATO LIVES!
Anybody come up with a good toothpaste joke here? I thought I had one but couldn’t get it out. It was right on the tip of my… tongue.
Fek, no comment on my avi?
Fuck you for "The Happening" add. We know it’s out and know that it sucks.
‘Sensodyne: for the sensitive tooth brusher’…?
"For that just castrated, clean feeling"….
I bet she clinches whenever a friend tells her she has something in her teeth.
"New Tampax Whitestrips: For Those Other 28 Days"
Luch-good job, you fucknut!
‘change the way you
clean your peenbrush!…’She’s convinced her mother that the battery operated device in her underwear drawer is an electric toothbrush.
Also new from Tampax: Tampons with cinnamon flavored waxed strings
’28 days later: the call of puberty returns (WITH BLOOD!)’
Other whitening toothpastes promise to clear years of coffee staining from your teeth, only ours will promise to whiten teeth affected by piss and blood. Tested and approved by FilmDrunkards.
do i see an underbite developing there…?
She masturbates to images of the Cavity Creeps.
She’s the only girl on the block who can walk and chew gum at the same time. Two pieces of gum, that is.
If she were friends with Mena Suvari’s character from Stuck, she would have a grill.
I hate getting gum in my pubic hair too.
I’d like to see that eat corn off my cob.
After her third yeast infection, the doctor told her she should brush and floss more often.
Pauly, where did you find your avi? Ive been looking for that still!
Dental dam takes on a whole new meaning….
She made a killing from the tooth fairy when she lost all of her baby teeth.
So does she visit the dentist, or her gyno to take care of those?
I just googled "Pulp Fiction Ass Watch".
The Mighty Fek’lhr has been humming "Hakuna Matata" for about the last half an hour.
That’s not a urinary tract infection, that’s just halitosis.
She probabaly has wisdom teeth all the way to her felopes.
new up
Is this a poster for the new Lone Ranger movie?
So, does she have a tongue in her ass?
Think she might want one?
Damn you, Fek!
*raises penis in anger!*
I don’t know crap but I wouldn’t mind one.
I mean…GRRR THE LAUGHING GAS IS KICKIN’ IN.
WHA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Vagina Dentata anagram;
Egad, taint a van!
Looks like she might need a filling.
Her pet name for them is her "little queef teef".
So, lets say someone drugged her and raped her and she got pregnant. What do you think would happen to the baby when it’s on its way out?
Her favorite party trick, one garunteed ot get a satisfying gasp from onlookers, was popping the cap off of a bottle of Corona.
…with her snatch!
The baby would obviously be doing a line of coke off the umbilical cord and preparing to rub one out.
flux, what do you think happened to Edward James Olmos’ face?
what do you think happened to Edward James Olmos’ face?
I just thought his Mom never told him to stop picking at his zits.
BOWL OF OATMEAL FACE!
I suppose the term DSL would still apply here?
Mmm, Sativa.
Since her pussy has teeth, are her labia rough like sandpaper?
No, JHC, but your Mom’s is. rough ass bitch I call her. she loves it
When did they leak Hillary’s last pelvic x-ray?
So does her breath stink whilst she’s perioding?
<<this is Proffessor Fuzzy Whiskers. He disapproves of you all.
Do you think her nipples are really eyeballs? Cause that would be awkward.
Crap, Hillary wouldve have removed her dentures before the xray
And belly button is a nose, which would suck. Have you ever stuck you finger in your belly button and then smelled it? It’s disgusting! And don’t even get me started on the taste.
The posters anatomical incorrectness annoys Proffesor Fuzzy Whiskers. He finds it just plain silly.
I’m not gonna read all this, so I’m just gonna assume that it was all unfunny. You should all be ashamed.
This is an evolutionary adaptation so she can keep talking even when eating/drinking.
This was prolly already said, but fuck it: OmNomNomNom.
Which one of you fuckers shit in Eib’s soup?
::wonders how Eib knows my mom’s cooter is 80 grit::
No, Aimless Leon, that hadn’t already been said. Because unlike Over There, we’re actually funny and try to be original.
Speaking of, where’s Bryce’s dead nazi grandmother? This poster gave me an idea.
She went to get waxed and asked for a landing strip, what she ended up with looked more like a Hitler.
Good. Landing strips make me insecure.
There is no fecal matter in my soup, I am just sassy.
‘professor fuzzy whiskers’ is my new safe word…
Damn, JHC. 80 grit? I was hoping it was a smooth 2000.
but with vaginal dentata, my safe word is ‘call you a cab?’
Fuckin’ Chino. I’m gonna find a way to make it to DrunkCon ’08 just so I can give you the dick slap you deserve for that Hakuna Matata shit that’s stuck in my head again.
Sure, this bitch might have teeth in her cunt, but I have a 12 gauge and the disposition to use it.
She puts the ‘anal’ in root canal.
‘i came here to do two things: kick ass and chew bubblegum…and i’m all- HOLY SHIT! what’s wrong with THAT picture!?’
Ow, fuck!
What’s the matter sweety?
I bit my fucking lip!
But you didn’t even have anything in your mouth.
Yeah, I know, that’s why I called it my "fucking lip".
So this vagina dentata, is it reflexive? I mean, does the trap shut when any foreign object enters or can she control it, because that might be kinda cool. Anyway, x-ray porn? Could be something here.
The Mighty Fek’lhr wonders why the teeth have to look mean like vampire teeth? What, no chick has ever had nice flat hippo teeth in her holiest of holes?
This is why you have to be careful answering personal ads, sometimes the "BI" in "BI Curious" is short for "bicuspid".
Now THIS gives a whole new meaning to the expression "girl got tooth pussy!"
Sigh.
Her euphemism for that time of the month is "Dracula’s got the flu."
fek, i ran some visual-id software on those teeth and they are definitely shark…
I bet she was torture on bicycle seats.
donkey, how about ‘it’s time for the shark to swim the chum’ or something equally repulsive…?
donkey, how about ‘it’s time for the shark to swim the chum’ or something equally repulsive…?
Understandable. But how does your pussy feel? Fabulous!
WTF?
You could say that.
Twice.
After chewing up servera silicone and plastic dildos, she found a stanless steele one online. She soon learned just how painful chipping a tooth in your muff could be.
::hangs head in un-cool thread-poster shame,
reaches for illuminati-brand cat-o-nine tails for self-punishment::
I would try to fix that comment but, why?
Is this how canker dick gets spread?
More like how cankerdick gets gruesomely chomped off.
Other Euphemisms:
That guy from Scanners is visiting
Bloody Mary can’t handle her liquor
Using the ol’ cotton pacifier
::thinks again and grabs opus dei-brand cilice
and prepares for mortification::
‘cotton pacifier’ is the name of my new garage band…
now all’s we need is a garage.
Jeez, so much for the Orbitz gum angle. *ducks flying tomatoes*
I’m glad to see the fek is still alive. What a bunch of crap.
Cilice opus dei! Whips are for kids!
Seriously, I’m surprised Hip Hop hasn’t embraced the "tooth pussy". I can see the pussy grills now.
thanks for giving me time to ‘redeem’ myself, crap
baskettastic.baedo, watt ta fek is your avatar?
Vaginal dentela, with braces.
Hakuna matada!
DURSTED!
once you kill “vaginal dentataman” megaman will shoot teeth from his crotch to kill enemies
Those aren’t even human teeth. It looks as though she has a fuckin’ pirahna in her pussy.
night vision sex tape imo
not covered by your companys dental plan
it actually looks like sexman had a cunninglis mishap with this chick. Ouch.
its not the same when youre drinking a pissboot alone :(
You’re not alone Bex, there’s a bunch of us over here pointing and laughing at you.
"With". Laughing WITH you.
Al calm down or else im gonna start slapping your chichis
The Mighty Fek’lhr has high speed internets again! QAPLAH!
I had to get you back for the Paul Newman remark of the other day :)
Whoa! Okay I’m drunk agian and trying to take this all in (insert penis joke)
PS – careful if you’re gonna try slapping my chichis around, they have their own teeth.
ok now we’re even ;)
An old girlfriend just gave me a fucking preggo scare. Fuckin’ cunt!
Correction: lying cunt snake
Where’s Nominus?
I think he’s with Al somewhere.
i hate when chicks do that pauly last time that happenned i moved to mexico
That’s "MR. he’s with Al somewhere" to you.
What are you gonna do if you get a preggo scare in Mexico? Move to Anartica?
move to guatemala, the further south i go the richer i get
Godfuckingdammit Kansas schoolboard. It’s because of YOU that I just got RIPPED on by FAMILY GUY. Do YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE?
Your gonna move so far south, you’ll be in Canadia in no time.
I wouldn’t recommend that, bex. If you move to canada, Al will have sex with you. **shivers**
Okay, okay. I won’t call out anymore Family Guy jokes. I now know they’re all unintentional and they’re funnier here anyway.
JOY!!
Micro Monday at the ballpark. I detect many Newcastles in my future!
OK, well I just got to see that Punisher trailer. That movie is going to suck like Katherine Heigl in a penis storm.
Micro Monday’s? I’m going where the 7n7′s are $1 and the 32 oz mugs of XX Amber are $3.50.
"Penis Storm" is what I call my finishing move in the bedroom. My wife calls it "Dick Breeze."
*chodin comes crawling into trench. he’s dragging two bloody stumps where his nikes used to be*
War…is…A HELL OF A GOOD TIME!
I need to celebrate dodging the preggo bullet like Neo.
Chod, my nigga from another wigga!
What’s the verdict, holmes? Where have you been all day?
Speaking of which, Amelia Earhart’s disappearance sure was strange, wasn’t it?
Pauly, I think it’s best explained like this:
If I have to fuck a chick, and you have to fuck a chick…but you don’t show up; then I have to fuck two chicks. Kapeesh?
I’ve been fucking chicks all day at work.
Double duty? That shit only hanppen when I eat the Beef n’ Broc and Panda Express. By "duty" of course I mean "dootie".
"hanppen" is "happens" when you BURN THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR HAND SUNDAY NIGHT!
But trust me fellas, I got some fuck outta that hand later that night.
Hey, anyone ever see the x-ray of my old girlfriend’s diaphragm? Looked like a burlap sack full of dicks.
I’m supposed to have sex with everyone who moves to Canada now? Damn, I better get busy.
Nike’s are cool, but i’m wearing Reebok’s, cause Reebok backwards in Ko’ Beer.
That’s why I wear yssupeerf shoes, Pauly. Cheap foreign brand, but I’m a man of principle.
The Mighty Fek’lhr kicks Chuck Taylors. Period.
I retired a pair of Chucks this weekend, Fek. They’re hanging from the telephone wire in my backyard.
The drunker I get the worster my rtypingh is
The chances I’m going to say something that will make a manager ask me to leave our local Wal-Mart are directly proportional to the number of customers I see in there wearing Crocs.
I like to rock “women’s feet” as sneakers. Sure, women with huge feet are few and far between, but once you cut those fuckers off at the ankles: instant cumfort.
TRUE STORY: I got kicked out of a Footlocker on Saturday trying to by some shoes. They didn’t have my size so I said "THE FUCK YOU MEAN, YOU AINT GOT MY SIZE?!?!" They said it was obvious I’m drunk and I need to leave.
Last time, the number was five and the offending phrase was either "Are you fucking kidding me? A six pack of Mike’s and a fucking pregnancy test?" or "You fucking heard me stupid, you should be sterilized."
I’m liking those bonsai slippers that have been showing in these ads, but can I really do karate in them?
Al…you know that it’s true. Red white and blue. Ameeeeeeeeririricaaaaaaaaaaaaa. America. America.
I caught my sister singing that once. She’s hot.
Pauly, maybe they’re just racist towards naked dudes in Dr. Seuss hats?
C’mon Chod, you know how hard it is to find a hat that covers your dick AND nards…
This is the coolest rock video ever, I don’t care what anyone says:
http://tinyurl.com/4chqzv
Nominus, quit picking on Al.
Also, Al accidentally logged out and can’t remember her password. Must be an architect after all.
Al, your password is: 14
Hey Mike, you can go contract AIDS for all I care, el douche-o.
FUCK MIKE.
Yeah mike, go get aids. It’ll be great.
Nom: thanks.
fek that video is no HAZ but still a kick ass song
Fek, you are my hero.
After a long, hard
dongday at work, that is just what I needed.Chino, you still fucking owe me for that Hakuna Matata shit…
Hey guys I’ve been drinking cough syrup guess who’s got a cold and doesn’t like punctuation that’s right me
Sippin’ on some sizzurp!
No worries, Donk. No worries.
i forgot to add wooOOooOoOOO nyquil wooOoOoOoooo
The Mighty Fek’lhr is hero to many, but few so fair.
Hmmm….He feels left out.
Empty Tussin Bottle :(
So fair? Are you callin’ me WHITE??
B.K. you can stay awake after downing Nyquil? That shit may as well be a rufie for me.
Better watch it, Chino, people will be callin’ you black wit’ dat fat lip you got comin’!
New best video on the internet (NSFWish): http://tinyurl.com/6bc2sh
To answer your question, Donkey, both Nyquil and Benadryl usually render me comatose. And to be honest, today’s cocktail is actually a combination of Dayquil, Sudafed, Tussin, and my prescription allergy medications. I didn’t take all these things at once, of course, because I’m not completely fucking retarded. But all of these things have been entered in to my system in the past 24 hours, in a try-and-and-see manner, to test how sick I really am. The answer is: I’m really fucking sick and also slightly retarded.
<Sneaks several shots of NyQuil into Donk’s drink>
…hehehe…
I’ve seen x-rays of all manner of wierd shit stuck up people’s asses, but a shark tooth collention? Wierd.
*Stumbles around the room*
Heyyyy, I th*huck!* … I th*huck!*… I think this tumbaweed is tryna take avannage a me!
B.K. I have a friend who’s a pharmacist and they actually keep chloroform in his pharmacy. He’s never filled a prescription for it, nor does he particularly know for what ailment you could get a prescription of chloroform, but I could see if I could get some for
my personal useyou. You wouldn’t like the headache, but you’d enjoy the sleep.The bar I’m at let me bring my omn cup into the bar. $1 44oz mugs of XX Amber with my name on them. (Seriously, my mug has PAULY enggraved on it)
Gonga? I think so.
I put the extra g cuz I be GANGSTA!
*passes out for a lil bit*
You can post at FD from the bar? Clearly I’m going to the wrong bars.
*gets up*
Where’s that tumbawee at?
I’m going to watch Sweeney Todd tonight. I hate musicals but love Johnny Depp so I think I will mute it and play Tool while I watch it. I have a good feeling about this!
My ex girlfriend’s vagina wore braces . . . I won’t bore you wiff the rest.
I was representin’ for ya earlier, erswi
Chino-Sweeney fucking rules. PLAY THE MUSIC!
What music? Hooker with a Penis? That is kinda what I was thinking.
True Story, BK. I’ve actually commented here while at the bar, on my cell. Don’t bother asking me which comments, fuck if I remember.
The Mighty Fek’lhr posted here on dial up once because His high speed ISP was flooded!
Oh, and The Happening was about the wind on a killing spree. Next time you guys see the tumbleweed, I’d run.
Fek, I just might bite you with my girly-pearlies.
I didn’t catch it Chino. Which page?
Also, your turn at scramble.
First, I think. Yay! My turn…
Well, thanks for ruining the ending, essLeo!! And I was really looking forward to seeing The Happening!
Just kidding! Who would want to see that forshak?
Yeah, you pretty much had me but I put on a Herculean effort in the last round I played.
check out my last round :(
POLIO!!
So, would a gal with
Hakuna MatataVagina Dentata use a hula hoop for headgear?That many huh? Tough round?
So, how would a movie like this end? Does she go on a killing spree? Is she found not guilty for all her biting like a Lifetime movie? Does she get ‘em all pulled out while quoting: "for the best…" -fade to black-?
it was a rough one
Fucker, you beat me by 3 fuckin pernts!
And my tubesocks are hotter than your swastika tat!
Lata suckas! Holla atcha in the AM.
Well, looks like the late shift again for me. As you will all notice, this is where I say whatever I want but barely anybody’s around to read it. Don’t worry, you’re not missing much.
Aw, fuck it. I’m outta here. Whoever’s left, please lock up on your way out. Thanks.
I’m back. I’m on my cell, posting this with one eye shut.
I took the Tequila shot with the worm in it. Mescal for those of you who aren’t Bex. It tasted like Bacanora for those of you who aren’t Bex.
By “Bex” I mean “Wetback”.
“Oh, and The Happening was about the wind on a killing spree.”
So it’s about me dropping ass?
Catch me on a bad day, my farts will make you gag. GAY-RUN-TEED!
OK, I read the plot on wikipedia, and the movie seems to convey two things:
OK, I read the plot on wikipedia, and the movie seems to convey two things:
This was also the synopsis for everything Genine Garafolo has ever appeared in.
Now where did I leave that rimshot button?
::digs around desk::
I didn’t find the rimshot button but I did find a receipt for the rimjob I got from a hooker last night, Donk.
What? That shit is a business expense.
It just dawned on my looking at the poster again, judging by the difference in teeth, top to bottom, it’s obvious that her coochie likes crank.
Get it? Crank can be either meth or a dick? See what I did there?
Aw, go fuck yourselves.
J, sometimes you have to trust that we’re smart enough to get the joke.
…this may or may not have been one of those times.
Somebody wake up Lince and give him his grande latte enema!
J, don’t forget to itemize your deductions. Last thing you want is for those IRS nazis to come knocking at 3 in the morning on your
front doorcardboard boxBTK van.-1 on Stoney for slaughtering Janeane (or should that be +1?)!
Remember, the receipt is only valid if the hooker is still alive come tax season. That’s why I don’t even bother getting receipts for anything I purchase before June. I mean, sometimes willpower wins out, but most of the time she’s simply not going to be able to survive being locked up in my basement for more than six months or so.
Donk, here’s a helpful hint . . . if you would give them food and water more often than once every three weeks, a lot more of them would live longer. Granted, it’s not nearly as much fun as listening to them die a painful, agonizing death of malnutrition but sometimes you gotta think big picture.
Also, what do you do when you’re finished with the dead bodies. Fek was asking earlier.
new up
If they would bother drinking instead of bitching how much it hurts when I turn the firehose on them, they would fare a lot better.
As for the bodies? Let’s just say that it’s not silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row that are responsible for my fantastic rose bushes.