NEW BOND MOVIE HAS FIRST TRAILER
06.30.08
After the jump I’ve got the first teaser trailer from the cursed set of Quantum of Solace, the new James Bond movie coming November 7th.
Seeking revenge for the death of his love, secret agent James Bond sets out to stop an environmentalist from taking control of a country’s water supply.
The Daniel Craig Bond is my favorite James Bond incarnation so far because he’s less a silky-smooth secret agent and more a psychopathic murderer with anger issues. He seems to derive much of his power from his extreme fits of rage. Don’t ask me why I find that more appealing. I guess it’s just nice to live vicariously through someone who harnesses his anger to stab bad guys and bang hot chicks when you spend so much of your time punching things during hissy fits then jumping around the room cursing the bones in your hand for being so brittle. Take that, wall! That’ll teach you to just sit there while I burn my mouth on this Hot Pocket!
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As cool as the Craig Bond is, The Might Fek’lhr will always prefer the ho’-slappin’ Connery original.
GRRR…VIOLENCE TOWARDS
MARLENEWOMEN!!!!"Why yes, I did order extra sausage."
1:27
Damn that red head is fine!
Yeah, I have a boner for this movie. From what I hear, Daniel Craig is happy to hear that.
Timothy Dalton wants to know why everyone hates him for seething with rage, feeding someone to a shark, shooting someone with a harpoon, putting someone through a grinder, and LIGHTING A GUY ON FIRE, but loves Daniel Craig. Not to mention, Dalton has the evilest laugh this side of the Joker.
Note: Dalton also fought with the
TalibanAfghani Freedom Fighters. The irony of the movie astounds twenty years later.So he’s a secret agent who is either shirtless or in a tux? Why don’t they save time and just give him kevlar pasties in the shape of little bow ties.
Shit, I think I accidentally turned gay.
Original title: Qualitative Solstice.
Daniel Craig stars in: "007: Harem of Confused, Muscular, Young Men" Will he ever escape????
Not in the version playing in my head, junc.
Craig suggested the next movie be titled "Hand Guns and Happy Trails."
With you there *Y*
Bond is pissed because his woman is dead and he’s going to take it out on an eco-terrorist? They’re setting us up for that man-on-man sex scene in the next movie, James Bond: Scrotum and Shoelace.
This doesn’t look gay at all to me, except the fact that i got a hard on looking at the banner pic.
How come Daniel Craig turns me on by cocking his gun and my plumber turns me off by calking me tub? Ohhh right. Craig is freaking hot and my plumber is a 3 toed sloth.
It’s not so much the banner pic that makes me feel gay as it is the the overwhelming desire to have Daniel Craig in my mouth that makes me feel a little…curious.
4th Bourne movie?
Judi Dench said his dong was a "Monster"
1. How does she know?
2. Does it look like Grover?
3. How do I get it under my bed or in my closet?
Suggested new title: The Bond Supremacy.
Michelle – I don’t have the answers to your questions, but I can tell you that your avatar is scaring the shit out of me.
Maybe she meant it has pock marks like Aileen Wuornos?
On a related note, i’d do Judi Dench hard.
I hope Damon keeps on the weight for the next Bourne movie
In the next Bond movie, 007 follows the terrorists to Australia. In typical Bond fashion, he gets captured and tortured. He finally escapes into the wild naked, but has no time to rest as the terrorists are about to launch a nuclear attack on China. With no gadgets or guns, Bond must use the aid of the outback creatures to help him defeat the evil terrorists. The title will be James Bond: Tantrum of Koalas.
Michelle: Pretty sure your best bet is to work the closet angle.
eRect: Yeah, what you said.
007 fight’s his toughest battle yet in James Bond: Condom of Sea Lice.
The extra apostraphe is for extra gay.
He seems to derive much of his power from his extreme fits of rage.
JAMES BOND SMASH!!!
So I’m guessing the nad beating he took in Casino is why there aren’t a million little tuxedoed babies running around.
The next Bond movie will feature Daniel Craig in RDJ blackface infiltrating a group of African terrorists on Long Island who want to blow up Rockefeller Center right before Christmas. They’re gonna call it 007: Kwanzaa in Hollis.
Great…now whenever I watch Casino Royale, all I’m going to think of during that opening scene is "JAMES BOND PARKOUR!"
I’m motivated by my doodie.
and…I’m 5 years old.
I mean, if we’re gonna stretch for the jokes, let’s really fucking stretch.
Phish Posh… you call those abs. God what a fag
You type really well for a 5 year-old.
That’s what I was going for, Flux.
I can’t walk around with my shirt off because
I’m fat as fuckmy nipples are too sensitive. true story.The next Bourne movie : The Bourne Slimfast Diet
Freaking A…Daniel Craig, I’ll wear a fake mustache for you. I don’t care.
And yes, Bond should always either be:
a. Shirtless
b. In a tux
or c. In tight swimg trunks covered in water.
He looks like he’s just got a License to be Bitchy and Judgmental at the Gym.
*Chodin exits shower and walks confidently neaked across bathroom. Stops to flex in mirror; accidentally farts and suddenly dick comes untucked from butt cheeks*
Can’t win em’ all, I guess.
“neaked”…yup, already shaping up to be a great day of commenting.
Director: Where’s Craig? We need him for this scene.
PA: He’s still in his trailer playing "Goodbye Horses" on a loop.
So since Amy Winehouse couldn’t finish the theme song, are they going to go with my idea of having Alvin and the Chipmunks sing the title of the movie over and over again to the tune of Guantanamera?
*On set at The Maury Povich Show*
Maury: “Now James, why haven’t you been around to help Shaniqua raise this child?”
Bond: “Yo Maury, I ain’t even gonna’ lie. I’m a secret agent and dat ain’t my baby!”
My favorite Bond is the Arian Bond.
Such pretty blue eyes Daniel…so pure…so blond…
chodin, I’m no artist, but might I make a suggestion? Your username reminds me of a mix of Rodin (the sculptor of "The Thinker") and a chode. A new avatar for you that would rock could be Stunt Man Mike, as depicted, but like as a sculpture with a chubby chick-chopper in his hand.
Just saying.
That’ll teach you to just sit there while I burn my mouth on this Hot Pocket!
Just be thankful you were using that hot pocket the right way instead of the FD way.
>>an environmentalist from taking control of a country’s water supply.
I think Bond needs someone new to Arch him…I hear the Monarch needs work…
I find Hot Pockets to be a fickle lover.
That’s why I stick
it inwith microwaved melons.Is everyone as tired as I am? Are the trees trying to kill us? Fucking trees.
MOAR nut whipping plz.
I never thought I’d see Bond ride a Vespa, but I suppose that day has come…
What does Quantum of Solace mean anyway? It sounds like a pretentious art exhibit.