Hellboy II: The Golden Army opens July 11th and promises to be filled with strange, creepy little creatures, a lá Pan’s Labyrinth, or your sister’s underpants.
The story of Hellboy begins in hell, when Hellboy, a demon, was brought to Earth as an infant by Nazi occultists – much like Brett Ratner. He was rescued by Allied Forces and grew up buff and red, with a tail and horns that he filed off to look normal. According to Wikipedia, he smells like dry-roasted peanuts. Brett Ratner, meanwhile, smells like Nachos and Axe body spray.
[Thanks to Robo for the tip]
One more clip here (fast-forward to the 1:39 mark)
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Isn’t exploding fairies a hate crime?
Exploding Fairies is the most popular wedding band in California.
You guys have no idea what I had to go through to find out Brett Ratner smells like Nachos and Axe body spray.
I exploded in a Fairy’s mouth last night!
Wait… Um.
"You guys have no idea what I had to go through…"
A sphincter?
Exploding Fairies is when The Mighty Fek’lhr has Perez Hilton and Mike Myers in a cargo bay on Grethor and opens the hatch! WHA HA HA!!!
Deja Vu.
That fairy wasn’t wearing boots. Black Sabbath lied to me.
*Chodin pulls up on pink, bedazzled roller skates*
Did somebody say "fairies" ?
(If no one gets that, I’m going to have to go rub one out to feel better)
Hey! He saw it, and told you no lie!
WHA HA HA! Oh, fuck , FLUX…that was HIGH-LARRY-US! BWA HA HA!
"…was brought to Earth as an infant by Nazi occultists"
Glad they finally shot the script I wrote about my ex.Â
OH FUCK! I am going to get Hustla’d! WHA HA HA! How could you do this to me, FLUX???
WHA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
/Give Fek the Josh Hartnett squint
In "The Spiderwick Chronicles," the fairies kidnap Al’s nemesis from Huntington, WV.
Couldn’t they just shorten it to "The Aurmy"?
I call my 3 year old son “Hellboy”.
My wife hates it when I call him that because she’s a Christian.
I am too, but just kinda. You know, like, on Sundays and Christmas.
Rot: too high-brow.
I love you.
Aren’t you glad you drew attention to yourself now, Flux? :p
Couldn’t they just shorten it to “The Aurmy”?
Holy crap. That was funny. I love chemistry.
I can bring the funny….periodically.
I can bring the bitchy…periodically
I can bring the funny….periodically.
That’s it, I’m gonna crack your skull with my nine Fe and hit you with the Sn man’s axe. I’ll be right there, I drive fast because I have a Pb foot.
you meant every 28 days, right Rot?
We’ve missed you, Rotty :)
Ah Eib, that was a bloody good comeback.
The Mighty Fek’lhr always brings the "smelly" and the "drunky".
You crazy kids and your intraweb lingos.
GRRR……Morse Code is for pussies!!!
I’m the M Night Shyamalan of Filmdrunk. You think I’m stupid, but you just don’t get my jokes. Also, I’m apparently the Carlos Mencia of Filmdrunk, since I’m sure someone else has used that joke before.
Donkey, have I ever mentioned how much I loved Rn Chong in "Soul Man"? When did that come out, ’86?
Rotty, you should come over and we can watch a movie together. I’m thinking Jason and the Ar-auts.
I’d rather watch "As and Old Lace."
*mumbles* fuck, i can’t beat "ar-auts"….
A woman just brought her dog in to the office here at work.
May I remind you all that I work in coprorate America.
This will not do.
Call the schoolmaster!
Well then hop in your brand new Chevy Co and get over here!
…aaaaand I’m spent.
If my friend and I are at a bar, and Ni-back comes on the radio, we chug our drinks, get in his Dodge Ne and try to void the Cu’s on our way to the next bar.
Jesus Christ! Have any of you actually kissed a girl?
On the mouth?
I refuse to pull up the periodic table and you guys already used all the ones I remember from HS. I was trying to come up with a way to call you all NaCl of the Earth kinds of guys but fuck it.
New up
Now that Al has chimed in, I’ll ask again, hoping for a yes.
Jesus Christ! Have any of you actually kissed a girl?
On the mouth?
::crosses fingers::
Thank Kahless there’s a new post!