FRIDAY FREE FOR ALL: THE PENIS SONG
06.13.08Friday for All is a regular feature on FilmDrunk in which I post videos that are neither relevant nor newsworthy. I’m a dick like that.
This video, which is apparently old, comes from the set of Fight Club, and depicts Ed Norton and Brad Pitt singing a song about penises. It’s a lot less sexy than it sounds. Anyway, according to the DVD producer, the bit didn’t make the DVD because Frankie Avalon is an a-hole.
"The Penis Song was something everyone wanted on the disc. Everyone, that is, except Frankie Avalon, who wasn’t amused by the parody of his song Venus. He promised to sue if we used it, so there you are."
Here I am indeed. I cut the ass off this gorilla suit so I can wear it while I poop.
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damn im gonna have to wait till im at home to see this
It’s better than the strap-on song from the Thelma and Louise outtakes.
Penis, I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
http://tinyurl.com/3pvb95
i sing about penises all the time.
Frankie Avalon was just worried about being relevant in any way.
I got a boner, wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go…..
The guy who seriously sang about beach blanket bingo is upset about a penis song? I thought that dude loved everything about penises.
haha…"poop"
Pauly, if I were Mexican, I’d swear we were brothers. I was this [ ] close to posting something along those lines….
I gotta penis iz name iz Fred
I like to beat Fred
Beat Fred dead.
Oh cum on everybody
Cum beat Fred, ohhhh
Cums on everybody cuz Freds beat dead.
I can’t atch the vid, is that close?
(whispers) penis…
atch is hat happens hen your key gets ketchup in it’s eye.
Falco’s dead right?
I’m-a penis I’m-a penis…I’m-a penis
Oh oh oh I’m-a penis.
Curiouser and curiouser. I was singing the Monty Python Penis Song in the shower only yesterday. "Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis.." Got some funny looks from the rest of the boys at the YMCA. Do we have YMCAs in England?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ
(Slightly louder than Burnsy) Penis.
I’m your penis
I’m your fire
At your desire
(classroom volume) Penis.
(at the top of his lungs) Eenispay!
How much nog can a nig-nog chug, if a nig-nog could chug nog?
PENIS!!!
*Runs to top of school building, gets out megaphone*
PEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIISSSSSS!
I’ve wrote a song about getting laid
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, snort snort"
<Piloting skywritting airplane>
P E N I S
(chugs entire piss boot and belches) PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIS!!!
Fuck Donk, i can’t beat the megaphone.
You guys wanna start over?
.–. . -. .. … break
*runs on stage during KISS concern, kicks Gene Simmons’ ass, grabs microphone*
PEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeennnNNNNiiiiSSSSssss!
whoa whoa whoa…THAT’S how you pronounce it?!? Who knew.
<Drives to Mt. Rushmore. Repells onto Roosevelts forehead. Writes PENIS with gigantic Sharpie. Adds drawn penis pointng at mouth.>
Qahplah!!
*fires up the super antenna at his radio station and interrupts the regularly scheduled cunt’s broadcast*
PeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Had to add that Qahplah for the Mighty One who is conspicuously (hehe sp ic) absent. Hope he didn’t get washed into the Mississippi. (had to recite "crooked letter" neumonic device to spell Mississippi)
*Finishes licking 6.7 billion envelopes. Two days later everybody on earth receives a letter. Everybody opens the letter and reads aloud all at the same time*
[heard from the moon] PENIS
*chugs another piss boot and passes out, Pauly sneaks in and writes penis on his forehead, wakes up and points to it*
THIS!!!
<Sneaks into control room at Pink Floyd laser light show. Reprograms entire show to be PENIS spinning on screen>
Donkey wins this one
*Runs up to Gary Busey, whispers in his ear*
Gary Busey: PENIS!
*universe collapses*
*SMB borrows Astronaut Farmer’s gay rocket and a shovel. Digs the following into the face of the moon*
P E N I S
SMB RULES!
Who the FUCK is this imposter?? I’l taint stab YOU with a car battery and Litter your gave with dead KITTENS you maggot!!
*lands on Pluto, raises a flag that says PENIS, yells, "PENIS!" 10,000 years later Donkey’s only remaining kin is fighting barbarians for a can of soup*
WHO SAID PENIS?
ALL this penis talk is making me think about BRIGET Bardo.
*Goes back in time, stands on edge of pool of primordial ooze*
PENIS!
*Zog Durst appears*
<materializes out of cloud of mist>
…penis…
<evaporates>
I see the NPA is being encouraged a little earlier than regularly scheduled this afternoon.
<smacks lips, digs chunk of meat out of teeth, inspects>
Hmmm… Penis?
I dunno Al…it’s pulling me in like a tractor beam
Hey, do you guys want to join the pen15 club?
Errr, I guess more like a lighthouse
"penis"
the word is taintstabbed by spear held by Longinus
"penis"
the ressurection penis, bitches.
*Donkey breaks into supercollider laboratory, yells "Pee" into one end and "nis" into the other, turns machine on. Nothing happens*
Damn, and it was such a good idea too.
New post. and it’s resurrection, if anyone asks. ‘mkay?
*Pauly walks in to 3rd grade class during English and writes on chalkboard P-E-E-N-U-S*
Okay, kids. What does this spell?
<drives to Washington Monument, busts out gigantic Dremel and carves it into a penis>
TA DAH! Geroge Washingto PENIS!
Make sure to tune into my radio show next week as we’ll have the results of the FilmDrunk Penis Games semi-finals, and Kirk Cameron will try to recite Leviticus in under 20 seconds or wrestle a live alligator.
I’ll be tuning in Burnsy – you can bet your bottom dollar! Will you pay Kenny Loggins – Footloose for me?