DON CHEADLE IS A TRAITOR
06.11.08
WATCH THE TRAILER FOR TRAITOR AFTER THE JUMP
Traitor stars Don Cheadle as a former US Special Operations officer wanted as a terrorist being tracked by Guy Pearce and Jeff Bridges Daniels. It’s based on an idea from Steve Martin (wuzzah?) and is being directed by Jeffrey Nachmanoff.
This has potential. Cheadle’s one of the best actors around and Guy Pearce’s is no slouch, but so what. I won a spelling bee in sixth grade and you don’t see me bragging about it all the time.
[via Cinematical]
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Why da bruvah gotta be dah bad guy?- Spike Lee
Hey, dipshit, at least he’ll be in the movie until the end, when they kill him.- JHC
Jeff Bridges looks like the kind of special agent that you could get away from by pointing and yelling "hey, look over there!" then running the other way.
I swear at first glance I thought that was Tiger Woods ya’ll
"Traitor stars Don Cheadle as a former US Special Operations…"
So it’s kind of like that fucking ‘Radio’ movie?
Another Steve Martin movie absent of happy feet dances. I call bullshit.
Spike Lee’s been calling Don Cheadle a traitor for years.
"H’come you only act fo’ tha’ white devil?"
Why are they picking on the janitor?
As long as there’s a scene where Jeff Bridges juggles cats, I’ll be satisfied.
Spike Lee approves of the new title more so than the working title:
Ni99a
I have no faith in Hollywood to pull off a "good guy/bad guy, terrorist" movie.
I’m happy to see Cheadle…or hear him not speaking in some dumb ass cockney bullshit accent.
I thought that was Jeff Daniels… Are they the same person meow?
Jeff Bridges or Jeff Daniels? cause thats harry in that picture, not the dude
damn. beat me too it
I call horseshit! No black man could ever get security clearence high enough for anybody to give a fuck about what he had to say.
Is Cheadle playing Prison Twister in that bottom right pic? And why is Rachel Weiz(sp?) in the top corner. And why am I sitting here when I have to make a big ass dinner?
Unless they are interested in what is in the secretary’s dustbin.
Oooohhh a Cosmo with all the dirty bit torn out, "HARLOT!"
If any of the characters in this movie have the name Benedict, I’m setting fire to everybody involved.
TRUE STORY: I fucking lost the school spelling-B in 6th grade. I took 2nd, but it was worth nothing compared to the harsh reality of finding out that "horseshoe" doesn’t have a goddamn "u" in it.
That is Rachel Weisz . . . whom I would fuck. Just sayin.
Man, you guys are so missing the underlying racism in this movie poster.
First, they obviously photoshopped Don’s nose to look even wider, thus hitting home the classic Afro-American stereotype.
Second, Jeff “Special Agent” Bridges has the Washington Monument over his head, a subliminal message that is supposed to hint towards a pointy white hat…KKK anyone?
Thirdly, on the right side of the poster, Rachel “I want Lord Humungous’ Sperm in my mouth” Weisz is placed on top of a falling down Don, obviously relaying that even white women are superior to a black ex-special operations agent.
Brotha can’ts gets no respects.
Oh, and me and keyho‘s janitor joke cross up was brought to you by The Happening opening everywhere Friday the 13th.
Shit. Jeff Daniels.
Doesn’t it Chod….doesn’t it.
Humungous, you forgot about how they’ve superimposed what looks like a basketball scoreboard over the black man’s face.
Humungous are you the same from the epic Y U so Sexy from over yon?
"Oh? A BLACK terrorist! How Orignal! Steve Martin so white!"
-Spike Lee
I refuse to see this, The Interpreter, Get Smart, or any of the Bourne films until I can get a signed affadavit from Friedberg and Seltzer that there won’t be a Spy Movie.
*chodin checks his day planner*
Ah, dammit! Wouldn’t you know the weekend they’re releasing this, I’ve already got plans to "not see Traitor". Sonnuvafavuvavuvavaufffauvbitch!
SEE?!! Donkey is jivin’ on what I am layin’ down for you suckas.
Right on, Donkey. Right on.
*raises fist*
Stinky, you may not have any control over this, but if that gets made, you’re getting kneecapped.
From an idea by Steve Martin… Is this finally the theatrical release of Chubby Rain that I’ve been waitin’ for?
I am not the same Humungous everyone keeps asking about.
I am Lord Humungous from thephatphree.com
Hope that helps.
Since I am new in here, can anyone explain where over yon is? I assume wwtdd?
Shit. I typed it. Are you guys going to throw mayonnaise at me now?
"Do you have any idea what I’ve done to protect your identity?"..followed by.."Nobody even knows you exist"
Doesn’t sound like you’ve done much there, mr. bridges. If anything, you’re drawing attention to his existence now. Thanks alot, jerk.
Chodin, you think you had it bad? Try spelling horseshoe wiff a W at the beginning. There were long talks wiff the parents after that debacle.
That’s not Mayo mung.
Only if "throw mayonnaise" is a euphemism.
So wait, Steve didn’t even write anything down? He was just musing aloud and one of his lackeys (dressed in Egyptian garb no doubt) wrote it out and got it made. Somehow that makes him very very sexy. huh.
If Eddie Murphy is attatched to this I swear to God I am going to kill George Lucas.
Crap, one of these days we’re going to have to have the doctors separate us. I know the surgery is risky. You keep the frontal lobe, I’ll keep the penis, fair?
Kudos to Vince for not going with the obvious banner cap of Don Cheadle is an Uncle Tom.
Ok, but I want half a nut and "ol’ winky". That seems fair.
Hey, as long as Don Cheadle trades to the terrorists for some pussy, I’d say it’s alllllllll gravy.
Sounds good to me.
I totally mispelled the word ‘Country’ in a sixth grade spelling bee. I sat down, and my competitor asked for it to be used in a sentence. Turns out they were not talking about a tree at all.
I would let Guy Pearce
do things to merock my worldbuy me a coffee. Same goes for the albino.Where all the women be at? NPA doesn’t start for at least another hour and we finally have hot straight guys to talk about. I hope my Norske Michelle is still here, at least.
I say random shit that gets made into movies all the time. For example, one day I mused, “Why don’t they make a shit CGI Garfield movie?”. BOOM! 3 days later it was in Pre-production. When I heard about it I then wondered, “If they are making shit CGI movies of shit animated/cartoon charcters that no one cares about why not make an Alvin and The Chipmunks movie?”
The rest as they say, is BTK.
Here mung this should explain everything;
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
I’d let Guy Pearce…
…watch Memento with me and then fucking explain it aloud.
Bryce, you’re like that heroin-addict painter on ‘Heroes’ with diarrhea.
I would let A Guy Pearce
do things tomerock my world buy me a coffee. Same goes for the albino.Fixed your wagon.
The best way to stay one step ahead of Hollywood (I have found) is to be borderline retarded; take too much drink/drugs; and say stupid shit outloud without thinking it through first…
Chod, based on your FB pics, I’d let you buy me a coffee.
Guy Pearce is, indeeded, hittable.
Problem with Guy Al, is you would have to tatoo "Insert penis here" above whichever orfice you were offering.
So is Tina Turner
Problem with Guy Al, is that he will wear your pumps and sing to abba songs when you are not home
Crap, I have no qualms when it comes to giving instruction.
Thanks Craptastic. Fek’lhr already hooked me up with that link.
That was after he sent me a message that said “Qaplah, then, you yIntagh forshak-hut dwelling kotal!”
Apparently he wanted me to be able to translate his hate.
Oh! Miracle Whip! Who threw this?
Al doesn’t wear pumps. And you have to make sure she doesn’t leave part of her heels in a sidewalk crack.
Bex, if Guy can fit into my shoes,
I’m sure I’d be very disappointedhe can wear them whenever he wants.In the lower right corner of the banner pick, I think Cheadle just picked up a 7-10 split.
(LMFAO Nom I totally forgot about that.)
Oh yeah, remember the romance baby. And don’t lay on any more tables.
I am soooo sorry I broke up that awesome eibz/Donk set spike up there.
Al, I’d buy you a coffee, but you’d have to get Guy Pearce to stir it with HIS dick. I’ve learned my lesson.
Nice Peet
Helllooooo Nurse!
Yes, I would let Guy buy me coffee but I have a sneaking suspision I could lift him over my head, so you know, that’s cool.
If Don Cheadle doesn’t stop looking at me like that, I’m going to have to stick my dick through this iMac.
lol Donkey, it took me about 5 mins to get that…
In the lower right corner of the banner pick, I think Cheadle just picked up a 7-10 split.
Either that, or someone swapped his grape drink with Purple Passion.
A Black terrorist?
*Pauly pulls the Amistad to a screeching hault*
In the lower right corner of the banner pick, I think Cheadle just picked up a 7-10 split…
Nah. He’s obviously performing a complex dance move that white boys like us should not even consider attempting.
well i know cheadle wont be tha bad guy cause he’s black and you cant have white cops shooting a black villain in the movies, not even in training day, denzel got shot by russian mafia guys
wait, what’s going on? I keep walking away. Is everyone going out for coffee? Or just fucking? I don’t know if I know you guys well enough for coffee.
Shouldn’t they have made the Washington Monument black? I’m just sayin.
That’s the black angel on his shoulder telling him not to listen to the white devil on his other shoulder telling him to do bad things.
…7-10 split…
Looked to me like he was pushing out of turn 4 in a 300m speedskating race.
We’re just fucking, Michelle. You were invited, you know.
Kahless Almighty! 80 fucking posts before He even shows up???
Oh thank God! That was really freaking me out. Coffee *shudders
You’re all fucking michelle? I want some of that traction! Get it? Because the post starts with tr and I added action? Get it? CotW here I come!
(…still trying to figure out what Cheadle is doing lower right)
Maybe they accidentally put in a scene from his next project, a Gregory Hines bio.
I use that "The truth is complicated" line when I break up with a girl.
I just don’t have the heart to tell them they are really fuckin’ annoying when I’m not horny.
fek what in kahless’ name is your avatar? i know he aint in no double dragon
Nom, you weren’t invited. And get off my table.
Pauly, you need to quit going all ninja at Office Depot.
That traitor has Jazz Hands. PizzoW!
Gee, that’s the last time I save you from splitting your face and making an ass of yourself, you clumsy fuck!!
Fuck, I had to go for the tap dancing angle, now I have the theme to Mr Bojangles stuck in my head.
That’s "drunken" clumsy fuck to you, mister. Now you all know what you have to look forward to in Vegas. Keep me away from the tables.
Al, they didn’t even see it coming.
I went in to exchange a ink cartridge, they said "Yeah, sure" then I walked to the ink section with the old cartridge. Grabbed a new one and went to the register and told the cashier "That girl in Customer Service said I could switch it out". Then I pointed at the girl and she gave the cashier the ok and I walked out with both.
THEN, made my way to Lowe’s and I stole a blue Gatorade.
Al, are you going to wear something in the acrylic line? Nothing says classy like plastic heels.
Pauly…you’re stealing our hearts.
Pauly, everytime I go to Rite-Aid, I steal a paperback book.
It’s a sickness, I know, but I’ll be damned if I am going to pay $7.99 for “The Ruins”.
Cut that shit out, you know how long it took to find a donor?
OMFG! Al wears clear plastic heels with little black ‘feet’ on the bottom! But at least she admits they were cheap and purchased in Thailand!
Humu are you mexican too?
There is a bar that has a library theme here and I steal a book every fucking time.
Nice.
I steal lubricant from the local grocery store. But it’s just to get them back for feeding my addictions. One time they caught me and started to talk about pressing charges, but then I said "NO! You lubriCANT!" and we all had a good laugh.
my current footwear is plastic. Flip flops. And you know why it’s stupid to wear flip flops to work? Because some asshole will drop an x-acto knift blade down on it.
x-acto-ly, Michelle
fek what in kahless’ name is your avatar?
KKK mask from 1870. Dor sho gha!
that one armed surfer over at WL is really hot, i just thought i’d share that with you
Is that the one hanging up at the hall where the Klan meetings are held?
fek, thanks for the tip
did i fucking durst it?
It’s settled: Fek reads WithLeather.
empty jenkem balloon :(
Just so we’re clear, I’d definitely hit it, but just so I could tell you guys I did.
This doesn’t even make sense. Terrorists aren’t black.
In the poster it looks like Guy Pearce is tugging at Don’s naps.
youd hit the 1 armed surfer chick?
It also looks like Jeff Daniels is wearing a penis on his head. Like the guy from Orgazmo.
Well, yeah. After the sex. Or during. Chicks dig that.
Traitor?
More like tahQeq!
Amirightguys?!
But Nom, what if her ex-shark-boyfriend finds out about it?
That guy in the banner pic doesn’t even drink Dunkin Donuts coffee!!!
Amirightguys?!
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dammit.
Guy has sharp features. Sharp, sharp, sharp features…
You guys are gay. Not me. You.
Fek is Lord Humongous. That’s settled now as well.
joker –
1) Nice avatar.
2) Nope.
If any fucking big fish took one of my appendages then i’d have to go Captain Ahab on its ass. You have been warned marine life.
humung –
1) Thanks.
2) Oh well. You were probably seperated at birff. Like me and nommy or Crap and Donkey.
Fuck her ex-shark-boyfriend! It’s his fault vfor having a amputee-slut for a girlfriend. Hate the play, not the gamer-hater.
The bad thing about a one armed girlfriend is no nut tickling Handski.
Her having only one arm removes all of chapter 12 from the FilmDrunkards BTK manual.
…makes chapter 13 more interesting though.
That’s what her facial hair is for, pauly. Hey, wait a second……who stole my last Capri-sun?
If I were here, I’d put that short little stump in coke machines and pretend like I was stuck.
Fuck!
"here" is how Australians say "her"
Pauly, that is why she has toes and/or a mother.
I bet she kicks ass at swimming in circles.
She probably looks really bored when she’s bull-riding.
If she were Italian, you’d only understand half of what she said.
I don’t know how I got so damn drunk at lunch, but here I am, drunk after lunch.
If she were Italian, you’d only understand half of what she said.
Awesome!
*fap, fap, fap*
If i were her i’d teach shop.
Al, I commend you on your early intoxication. Truly a skill for a Wednesday.
Al, drunk before 1 is the ONLY was to work.
lmao for the italian and bull ridin’ Al
I guess I don’t get the italian joke.
*Pauly sits Nom down*
An Italian stereptype is that all of them talk with their hands.
Because if she were Italian, she’d have a really heavy accent and a lot of body hair, Nom. So you wouldn’t understand her.
Oh, and plus we talk with our hands.
Those are pretty damn good Al, maybe this should become a habit.
Thanks for the intervention guys. Okay, time to figure out how to cover up my drug addictions from my new employer.
(shakes head in disappointment in Nom’s direction)
Nominus – like someone said earlier, your best bet for a 24 hour cover-up is to drink a lot of water. and I mean A LOT, and take some B-12 or any multivitamin so that your piss is yellow and not clear. If it’s clear they’ll know you are trying to cover something up.
Or just pour apple juice in the cup. By the time they figure it out, you’ll have had a few more days to clean out.
Nom, PM me
nom drink pickle juice that’ll wash the toxins out of you
I think Nom and Pauly are having an affair.
Nom drink turpentine, that’ll throw them off.
nom tell them you have aids and were taking drugs to hide that fact and so they wouldnt discriminate against you
I know how to beat a UA for a job. That’s how I got this one and the last 3 others.
tell em it’s time for your period.
Just say no to drugs.
I don’t don’t say no to drugs.
Me neither, but I had a feeling I should try.
Plus I drink and steal.
I think I might win the coveted "Spic of the Year" award this year.
Too much water and they’ll make you drop again. Fo Sho
You’ve got my vote Pauly. You or Megan Fox…
If they make me piss again, I don’t mind. I Hardly ever smoke, and it’ll just give me alittle more time to get it out my system. It’s simple maff.
whenever i have a test i just study really hard
Eat a bunch of asparagus, they won’t be able to stand the smell and will toss your piss down the drain.
I think you should be good. I just snuck my roomate’s piss in a
bootBacos bottle.Know the hard one is the probation UA’s they have a slack-jawwed ffag looking at your dick making sure it aint fake.
BTK, I’m only half Italian so I only talk with one hand. I use the other one to reach into the gaping mouth of sharks. I’m not stupid enough to let them bite it off, though.
Because I also use that hand to put in my pocket, play the piano, and flick my cigarette.
Should I be hanging out at WL?
*chodin walks out of doctor’s office. head hung low*
Darn…guess who DOESN’T have the clap? Shucks-fucks.
laupy, do you wipe your ass and throw the dirty shit tickets next to the toilet?
It’s alright, Chod. There’s always herpes
Yes, Parc. I leave them sunny side up.
Yeah, but Pauly: you promised me you were dirty.
You lying cunt snake.
Wait… I mean
WHo the fuck WIPES their ass, anyway?
Al I’ll just come back and read that comment later after five glasses of syrah and it will fucking slay me I’m sure.
You have my vote as well then DPaousgrauly.
You might want to try a litre and a half, Crap, that’s what got me here.
They’re a tough crowd over at WL. They’re very disciplined. I think it helps if you’ve been in the army/marines.
Pauly youre making us proud, you got my vote
What the fuck is wrong with you gays? This is a Don Cheadle thread, we could talk for ages.
WHAT! I was clean?!?!
*runs to medicine cabinet, grabs Flintstone vitamins bottle, empties bottle in toilet and flushes them*
I think Don Cheeto is Chester Cheeto’s cousin
I like him as Basher. He blows things up and talks funny.
*A younger Pauly whispers in older Pauly’s ear*
What!?! It’s Chester ‘Cheetah’?
Yeah, and horseshue DOESN’T have a ‘U’ you fuckin’ little cunt snake.
Don Cheadle’s face is only about one-third as much fun to look at as Morgan Freeman’s.
It looks like Don Cheadle was in front of the fan when shit was thrown at it.
Al,you’re the only one here I wouldn’t lose respect for on that Alannis Morissette reference.
I bet Don Cheadle’s skin requires an oil change every 3,000 miles.
Donkey, I think it’s slightly ghey that you’re the only one who got it. Sexy but ghey.
In the poster, it looks like Don Cheadle in using the terrorists’ top secret weapon. The "velcro helmet".
Don Cheadle’s too much of a pussy to handle freckles.
Al, when a woman creates an entire album that rightly could be titled "Fuck You Dave Coulier" I tend to listen. It’s kind of a motto of mine.
Uncle Joey may have been a Red Wings fan, but that dude sucked.
Don has serious wood in that pic. Know how I know? No? It’s because he has the Levitra flame in both his eyes.
I handled freckles once, but she asked me to stop or she would call the cops.
Chod, I think he has freckles, they’re just not visible to the anglo-eye.
In the dark, Don Cheadle is not only invisible to the naked eye, but also night vision goggles and infrared imaging.
Before Donkey gets on my ass, that other hand of mine is also making a peace sign and giving you all a high-five.
hehehe, Donkey on my ass…
Don Cheadle’s face is in full screen, while his nose is in wide screen.
im surprised vince did not give a fuck and just left it as jeff bridges and didnt bother to change it
Al/Donk- I got it but chose to ignore it.
Much like i’m aware of things like Spelling and Grammer but do not much care for either.
Strangely enough, Alanis is on my radio right now.
SMB is "aware" of spelling "grammer"?
I understand SMB. Nobody really likes Torii or Kelsey anymore…
turn it off NOW, crap
SMB is aware of Kelsey Grammer. So?
I misspelled Tori Spellings name…
Isn’t that Ironic. Don’t you think?
Donkey, I love you so much right now I can barely stand it.
Bad Company is playing Bad Company on my computer!
… and my assistant just busted me grinning like a drunken idiot at my screen. Fuck you guys, I’m leaving early.
Point proved!
I’m out like C-Bale.
Correct me on the internets, that’s what you get Al. *SMB rubs hands together*
*Donkey throws Al the double-handgun wink*
Looks like the lifeless curtain of the NPA is falling upon us.
Crap, did you dry clean the tumbleweed like I asked you to?
NPA is upon us…
I get my work finished just in time for the sausage fest durst that is CJC.
Typical.
<drops trou>
Naw, steam cleaned that little fucker, and had the thorns sharpened and the Shrubbery Groomer.
*bex stands on the dorway and starts banging the cowbell*
come and get em boys, these piss boots arent gonna drink themselves!!
*nostrils flare*
You cunts smell that? It smells like a horizon of dicks a-cummin’.
Good enough for me, Crap. Now hand that little cocktease over here. I’m-a-gonna reaquaint him with the NPA.
Should have had Nom fill a few of those boots, deys got dat extra kick!
Is that Archie Panjabi is the poster?
I bet that if you bang out her triangle, hungry cowboys come running into the room thinking supper is ready.
AW FUCK!
<looks at flesh colored dick>
I need some cheetos!
One for the road. Bex, have you got any of that Nom piss? The good shit, none of that vitamin enriched rubbish.
I’m back. What the fuck is that smell?
Don Cheadle has secretly hated Vin Diesel ever since Diesel got the lead role in Pitch Black that Don thought he was a lock for.
one nom piss special coming up
it kinda tastes like 50 B-12 vitamins
Not to sounds like a racist but when I see that poster, I think "Amy, good gorilla".
FORSHAKKNESS!!!!!
Ok, that’s racist, but c’mon that looks exactly like the poster for Congo.
Damnit CB, sorry I missed your post. I’m full of self loathing and a naughty little Rose’. It’s delicious!
I love that we can all meet up like this in the afternoon. I just wish there was a social networking site where we could all learn eachothers full names and see photographs…
*chodin slouches in chair and takes a hard gulp from the mighty boot*
Chodin, I think you just knocked me up.
I know, Chod. Some place where you can read interests like a book, and see my face. Kinda like My own space…..
I just want a place where I can more effectively stalk all of you.
You guys are weird. What does this have to do with the Cheadleman?
Where I can alienate all my old friends with my new more interesting friends…
Michelle, it’s fucking impossible for me to impregnate you: I was wearing scuba gear.
Plus I have no dick, so….
Guy’cha! Someone explain to Chino what a Reacharound is!
I’m thinking Harald if it’s a boy or Sonja if it’s a girl…well then what the hell did you poke me with? Wait, I don’t want to know.
Chino, a Reacharound is a Native American tribe from southern Utah.
where can i add girls because their avatar looks sexy when its small but once you see the big picture you see shes nothing special and has boring tastes and keeps sending you invites for crappy applications and youre too much of a dumbass that you dont know how to stop being friends with her?
NONE of my regular face to face circle jerk friends know I filmdrunk or have a myspae or facebook. Is that wierd?
And Chino, if by some act of God you "bold" 2/3rds of a sentence: then congrats, you lazy cunt snake!
Pauly, you’re cheating on your friends with us. Or, is it the other way around?
Either way, I feel sexy.
Then again, only a few people know i have 2 dicks. Aint that right, Chod?
The Reacharounds are a yelly people.
Um, thanks Fek.
And Bex, you had better not be talking about me.
That’s right Pauly: the only three people who know are my mother, my ex-girlfriend and yours truly.
Michelle, share the rose’?
I just get twisty ties and make it one fat cock.
Wait- is everyone fucking drunk or something!? This is a Don Cheadle thread!!! Let’s talk about Don Cheadle, let’s talk about his…his…um…we can….fuck, I’m Cheadle’d-the-fuck-out.
Honestly, my real life friends don’t use computers in their day-to-day life. Their simple folk, that way, I’m the brains of the bunch.
I’m surprised no members of the highly esteemed hiphop community have latched onto the piss boot phenomenon. "Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on piss in boots..(beeotch!!)." Laters,
homeboys and girlshomos.He’s drunk!
Pauly, you don’t kick it with the Buttercream Gang, do you?
chino i aint talking about any of the FD ladies you all so fine
Pauly, which dick do you piss out of? Is it the same one you jizz out of? Can you do both at the same time?
You can’t piss and jizz out of the same dick at the same time fek?
I call it my lemonade taco sauce.
I kick it with the Apple Dumpling gang
No, Chod. Just the Buttcream Gang.
It’s a tricky situation Fek. Sometimes I go to piss, them I cum and vice versa. So watch out for the "creamy" piss boot.
I roll with the Butterfart Gang.
Wow, I just took a big ass swig of my
piss boot7 n 7 and caught a littel sting.Hey, you gays remember that one time that there was a Don Cheadle thread?
*chodin thinks hard*
You know what, fuck Don Cheadle. What has he done for me lately (ala Eddie Murphy)!?
I laughed at my own ‘velco helmet’ comment.
Fuck you, Eddieee!
If you know a guy named Don Cheadle, he probably sucks. FUCK DON CHEADLE!
Chino, we’ve moved on to some (cheap and delicious) vino verde. Shit this stuff is good. Wheeeeeeeeee
I’m playing Lobster Wars right now with what is about to become my dinner.
So, do I come off as a real racist, or just a comically hilarious pretend one?
No worries, Fek. Anybody who reads this site knows the difference.
more like the pretend kind
Just kidding! He’s a real racist! Dor sho gha! Damn Romulans!
thats jeff daniels
^ That’s incredible. No one’s discussed that yet.
Paul Newman has cancer. And I didn’t mean that to be funny at all.
Sad face :(
Unless Newman has his own type of cancer, that he got from mcdonalds’ salad dressing, I do not care.
I was attacked by a blue jay this afternoon. It was protecting its baby (probably doesn’t know who the father is, slutty bird) that was on the ground near where I was walking outside my house. It dive bombed my head repeatedly, pecking and clawing. I had to take cover under the mail I’d just pulled from the mailbox and run to the front door.
It didn’t draw blood, but I have a small visible scratch on my forehead.
It was a little freaky…
Kill it’s baby, stone. That’ll teach that bird to protect it’s children.
Were you all shiny, Stone? I hear they like shiny things. You’re bald and all oiled up, arentcha?
Won’t someone please think of the coke dealers?
Holy shit, look what just happened.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/severe_weather;_ylt=ArN33ljBXbzTBd6XJVL.2.Ks0NUE
Scrabulous and wine = fail : (
Holy crap Nom, that’s awful
Stoney, you should install a phone booth in your yard to hide in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQgJl9d5KCQ
Shut up john cusack. I hate bush/mcain too, but my opinion is better than yours, so shut the fuck up.
So my dinner party guests just left. They were older people from Minnesota and as soon as they got here they wanted to wash their hands because they’d touched every pole in the subway. I’m sorry, I don’t care where you’re from, you should know not to touch every erect pole on the subway. It just sends the wrong message.
Ok gays. I’m at a bar and they serve $1 Bud Lights.
If I die tonite, put on my grave marker “He sucked a mean dick”.
And kickboxing is NOT the sport of the future!!!
Maybe it’s the wine, but Robo just cracked my stupid ass up like crazy. Oh, and Michelle, you’re obviously drinking the wrong kind, mine makes me win.
(note to self: don’t take michelle to subway for our first date. It will end in the wrong kind of massage)
Way to force me into a flashback, robo. How many pages did that classical thread get to?
Crap, am I going to have to look back to get it?!? Ughhhh maybe I drank too much.
Ohhh, that pole’s shiney *touch touch touch poke stab
Nom, I can’t believe you’re re-reading that. Freak.
Nom-The Mighty Fek’lhr is sure He wasn’t supposed to laugh at your article (but He did).
Michelle, it will take you several days to read it and, if my ex is any indication, it will drive you insane. BTK, you’ve been challeneged to Scrabulous. Prepare to whimper quietly in the corner.
Little known fact: Canadians are also prone to using superfluous "e"s.
Re-reading it all, apparently I’m knocked up and you’ve been killing lobsters and Nom is a pot head and there’s something about a "Cheadle" person but I don’t get that part.
How did you kill your lobsters? Pillow fight? I made salmon like a good Norske and a blueberry pie. = yummy burps
Well known fact: Canadians suck a mean dick. Mine’s nice though.
Michelle, I’m gonna take you all the way back to 2008.
http://filmdrunk.com/post.phtml?pk=928
No I meant re-reading the 1,600+ comment thread of yester-year. People have actually DIED trying to get through all those pages.
Nom, I’m just realizing now how much I’ve missed you. Wanna meet me in Vegas?
OMG Nom, that’s awesome. I’m so sad I wasn’t there which is in turn a little sad. Jeebus, 35 pages?!?
Nom, I’m just realizing now how much I’ve missed you. Wanna
meetmeat me in Vegas?FIXED!!!
and yeah, sure.
No michelle, 33. But it’ll surpass 35 eventually,
godfek willingDooter sounds like an incontinence problem.
I shall fill in ze rest myself.
michelle, if you do that, I will so have sex with you. And that’s really hard to get me to do.
Be careful, I’ve got pole finger
Wow, you even suckered me into it. We did forge some beautiful relationships in that thread, didn’t we? Ah, we were all so young and foolish then. I didn’t know what freaks you all were until I saw you on Facebook.
Al is a stone cold lobsta killa
It’s like the freaking Mother Thread
Al is a stone cold lobsta killa
Okay chino, for that I will totally have sex with you, in front of michelle07, while I talk to Al on the phone. It’s a great deal, take it.
They didn’t even scream, Chino. But they fought the good fight when I was putting them into the pot.
Did anyone ever find out what happened to Lala? Is she dead?
I’ll take it, Nom. I’d be a fool not to.
Al, you scare me. Meany.
Did anyone ever find out what happened to Lala? Is she dead?
Not quite yet, but I am almost finished gassing up the chainsaw!
How come Chino gets to have sex with you when I’M the stone cold killa? I call "no fair". BTK, it’s this kinda talk that turned my ex into an ex. Way to ruin my relationship, Nom.
Hey, he’s the one that ruined the relationship by getting all ‘you’re having an affair’. I’m just the one who seduced you.
Don’t worry, Al. He’d never survive it.
And what about Butters? I think Lala and Butters were both actually Eibz. Like I’m actually also
Contractor MikeNominalNominusMarc SummersNomInAlFek.somehow, the coke dealers thread has more pages than the recent comments page. Awesome fantastic, incredibleasstic.
Thank God my husband doesn’t look at my facebook page or this. I’m essentially making the fuck with you all. So very innapropriate (too hard to spell drunk)
Hey! I got a new pillow and a bottle of chablis! PFC in the hizzy!
Awww shit yeah
Are you sure he’s not looking, Michelle? He is Norwegian. That means he is extra smart. Like me!
Don’t worry, Al. He’d never survive it.
Well duh. She dropped him into a pot of boiling water with rubberbands on his pinchers. Al’s a bitch like that.
The Mighty Fek’lhr forgot how funny He used to be. That pic of Lance in the 1600 post thread is priceless.
By pricless He means HAWT!
BTK, Al is as much Fek’lhr as Vin Diesel is the next Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Michelle, is your drunken ass gonna play your Scrabulous turn or not?
It’s comments like this that drove that ridiculous thread to that many pages. I say if we all go hard tonight, we can top 35.
Ahnold did Kindergarten cop and Vin did The Pacifier. You do the math, Fek..
Nom, even His latent racism and pro-infanticide demeanor cannot save us from Pillow Fight Club!
*The Mighty Fek’lhr is surrounded by a red aura, then SUDDENLY vanishes*
Hey, I talked about movies! In here!!!
*incoming transmission*
Ahnold did Conan and The Terminator. He rests His case.
*end transmission*
Holy fuck. Chino is norwegian too? We are great aren’t we?
Public notice: If you are married(and a woman), I do not really want to do it with you. And never will. Sorry ladies, just the way it is.
*incoming transmission*
So, Nom, The Mighty Fek’lhr is married and NOT a woman!
*end transmission*
Norwegians rule.
But, you just confused me. If you don’t want to do it with a woman, you sir, are no Viking.
Rape and pillage. That is Our motto.
*sub-space emergency channels light up!*
Dor sho gha! The Mighty One forgot that tonight was Roller-Disco night on Grethor! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
*message halts abruptly and is replaced with The Beegees*
Hey, I talked about movies! In here!!!
You did not. But you did reveal your real name in there. Interesting…
Fek, if you are a bottom, I will so do yours, and laugh while ruining your marriage. It’ll be great, just you wait. It’s fate. What’ya say, mate?
Al, what?
This place is so funky with Norwegians it’s surprising we allow an Italian… nevermind.
My lefse so beats your pasta, Al
Okay chino, you win. I’ll rape you.
WOO HOO!!!
*incoming transmission*
re:What’ya say, mate?
Eh, never mind.
*end transmission*
*Grethor goes blurry around the edges, then SUDDENLY vanishes*
My krumkake trumps your lefse, Chino. And let’s not forget where a lot of this wine we like to drink comes from.
yeah, well, fek is a slut. And a lesbian. He was so all over my dick.
Crap, it didn’t ask me to play my turn. and now I have to go to bed…but I’ll be picturing you all
God Natt babies
Um, ludefisk? Ok, that shit is gross.
Krumkake makes me think of bukkake
Did Al just talk about how she loves bukkake? Good night michelle, I’ll watch over your bedbugs while you sleep sweetly. Promise.
EVERYTHING makes chino think of bukkake. Ever since she was raped by that viking who coincidentally looked similar to me.
Nom, were you typing bukkake whist I was typing kukkake??? Kismet.
Too many k’s, pervert?
I think of K’s like I think of X’s. The more, the better.
Holy shit, that is awesome chino. I think we were. I hope you don’t mind that I tell people that. BTK, if I hadn’t said g’night to michelle, I woulda been first. I’m ALWAYS first.
OK, now I can’t stop thinking about coke dealers with incontinence problems. Will Doug freak out if I tell him I don’t want to watch "Jumpers" because I’m too busy chatting with my invisible friends?
you’re always first cuz you’re a selfish lover
Al, if you watch "JUMPER" without the ‘s’, you so cannot be involved with me and chino’s bukkake. And that’s NOT a threat, thats a PROMISE.
Would a selfish lover exclude a second fine-ass chick from a dirty session? I think not! I’m awesome. Jerk. **sniffle**
Jerk? Is that an insult or a command?
Quit yer cryin’
VIKINGS DON’T CRY!!!
**sniffle** Sorry **sniffle** it..happens..when..I..*whimper*have..sexing**sniffle**
Ok but seriously, extra "s" or otherwise, I’m prone to superfluous letters, remember? Did the movie suck or not? Should I just have sex instead?
Yes. But not with him. Find a girl. They are much better at sex. TRUST ME. Jumper sucked.
UPDATE:
I’m on my 14th beer and took a break to smoke a bowl.
FYI
Don Fransisco > Don Cheadle
Holy shitm, AI wish you could see me local station cuz a camera is showing sa ti\ornado hittiing K-State university LIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Well Pauly, I certainly hope you’ve caught yourself up on this and the Thread of Never-Endingnessness, or I’ll do some coke and curse you with an incontinence problem.
Nom are you drinking or being tossed about by a tornado?
I’m excited and drinking do equis. This shit is gonna be here in 45 minutes. It’s producing shitloads of tornados, and a HUIGE one just tore it’s way through manhattan.
I think he’s having a tornadous salad tossing
Shouldn’t you be in the attic or something if there’s a tornado coming your way?
I hope you don’t live in a trailer park. With cows in the back yard.
You’re in danger so I’m not gonna pick on your spelling, but please don’t disrespect the beer like that.
dudes, this is kansas. This happens regularly. Plus, it’s pretty far away right now. It’s not raining here YET. Plus we have tornado sirens. Although, the ones in topeka have only had one succesful test this year.
Al, I was there on the “What about the coke dealers?” thread. I said some stuff I regret.
That took a weekend to fill. I been pondering posting a comment there too.
I;m not in danger right now. Keep in mind, I just watched a 1/4 mile wide tornado tear thru the K-state campus live on tv, so it was pretty fucking exciting.
*starts looking for what pauly is ashamed of*
no comment on the tornadous salad tossin?? I made that shit up, son!
son? That baby taint mine.
Don’t drag me back to that thread to find out what you were talking about, Pauly. No, really. Stop it.
I’m watching The Perfect Storm w/Geroge Clonoey
hot piece of man, that one
Hey I watched Perfect Storm in a hotel in Phoenix after I broke up with my Phoenix boyfriend, thanks for reminding me of all my failed relationshiops, people. All I have is the hot young stud temporary boarder on my couch patiently waiting for me to get off the damn computer to occupy myself with now.
you have a hot man on your couch right now???
I have a dog on my couch :(
Isn’t that sort of the same thing?
Two, actually. Menage!!
Hey guys, if I die in this storm tonight, my last request is for one of you to blow my corpse, with more intensity than the turbulent winds driving the debris which killed me.
you want a guy to blow you? Dead2me.
Commence crying.
I’m gonna just say I’m up for the challenge now, Nom, knowing you won’t die in this storm tonight.
Remember: the safest place is on the roof*
* I secretly want to blow Nom with more intensity than the turbulent winds driving the debris which will kill him
my CORPSE. Interesting that your mind went there though. VERY interesting. Weirdo.
* In Canada, "Nom’s corpse" is the same as "Nom".
in Canadia, wouldn’t that be "courpse"?
I wanna fellate Marky Mark’s courpse
Okay, it looks like this storm is gonna just clip the north side of town. So….looks like we’re both gonna get to enjoy that, Al. Woopeeeee!
In Canucklese, you would be Chunu Mourunu. I think we have an orca at our aquarium by that name.
Cling to the weathervane, Numunus.
are you an Orca killa, too??
It’s odd that you guys have mentioned lobsters and George Clooney in this thread, cuz last night I had a dream I was hanging out in a Menards parking lot with a dude in a lobster suit who turned out to be George Clooney.
I would totally blow that lobsta
I feel like a peeping tom right now
I embrace the Orca, Chino, ’tis the mascot of my beloved Canuckleheads. Trevor Linden retired today and
I criedso want to have wild animal sex withtooka little piece of my heart with him.I feel like a peeping tom right now
WTF??? I thought we were all alone in here. Now I feel kind of
excitedviolatedweirdexcited.El Topo, do you feel like a peeping tom right now, by any chance?
Naaaa…not any more
do you know the band, Peeping Tom?? Mike Patton rules.
UPDATE:
I’m on my 20th beer. It’s a rough ride.
I think I posted something about throwing a girl off my bed that Coke dealers thread. I mean I lifted up my matress and threw her off.
I’m drinking 40+ beers tonight.
I called it.
I like Mike Patton…Ever heard The Lovage?
Pauly, I feel for your liver. Mine, too, BTK.
The Lovage?? You fuckin’ with me?
I tell ya, they are just C-walking dowo my throat.
Never heard of Peeping Tom but I say that’s an awesome name for a band. Do you know the band She Says Electric? The guitarist is the hottest guy in the world. Tragically married, but hott.
aaaaaaaaand…..tornado sirens. I was wrong.`
never heard of them, Al. Good?
Fun Fact: It has been documented I have drank 36 beers.
Nathaniel Merriweather presents baby
Hey Al, remember that song I sent to you? Lovage, beeeeatch.
K, I’m outtie. Nom, hunker down. Al, get the guy on the couch. El Topo, I’m still waiting for you to take back your diss on Disturbed.
’night, Drunktards!!
XOXOXO
If I ever catch my son listening to disturbed, I will disown him.
Nathaniel Merriweather presents The Lovage…Music to make love to your old lady by
It’s one of Mike Pattons many side projects…Pretty damn good IMO. Not a rock record though
Stroker Ace by Lovage. Thats what I’m talking about. Off that album.
Al, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a Canadian say the word tragically without following it with the word hip.
NO CAN DO babe
Ok, I’ve heard of that. Peeping Tom is not really rock, either. Neither is Mr. Bungle or Fantomas.
You tricked me into staying on! DAMN YOU, EL TOPO!
Hellz Yuh, Nom!
To late I’m already damned
Nom, I choose to ignore your Disturbed comment
OH-AHAHAHAH!!!
Tricks are for kids Chino
True dat, lTop
Isn’t it past your bed time?
yes it is
do you want me to leave or something?
Where’s the rest of the party?
they’ve gone-a-sexin’
You gotta be kiddin with the disturbed*LOL*
meh…i like ‘em okay. Not the best, but they’ll do in a pinch
what do you like?
Take a wild guess
Dammit, I was temporarily removed from the keyboard (yes, forcibly).
Nom, that Lovage song was awesome, She Says Electric is excellent (go see my FB friend’s open profile "Derek Usher" for info), and yes, Tragically does not necessarily need to be immediately followed by Hip, even though it’s the law here. I’m rebellious like that.
Take a wild guess?? Pantera??
(please say yes, please say yes)
Lovage also does a version of that old Berlin song "SEX"
Teri Nunn is the bomb
Never been a HUGE Pantera guy, but they’re alright…Good guess though…..I likes everything from Slayer to Miles and Coltrane….
Actually been listening to Hank 3 lately though….He’s in Superjoint
As in Superjoint Ritual? Phil Anselmo?
how old are you?
Yes dear
You listen to Down?
Old enough. Do you know who Hank 3 is or no? I take it from your Avi your a Deftones fan, cool
Deftones are my boys. I have never heard of Hank 3. I will definitely check them out, though.
Hank 3 is Hank Williams the 3rd.
Wait…it says country/rock?? Don’t know about that…
He’s also the bass player for Superjoint Ritual.
Duke!!! Missed you. You only come out at night.
BTW why does Chatzy look like Filmdrunk?
that’s what we are talking about. You like that??
Hank’s real name is Sheldon.
Hank 3 as in Hank Williams the third. It’s country, but he’s a total metal-head. They did a show in LA in 06 and Glenn Danzig came up and did some tunes with them.
Chatzy is Whackzy lately
Glen Danzig is a SQUARE
HaHaHa…this love affair could get interesting then.
"Don Cheadle Is A Traitor". Oh yeah? Well then, a "traitor" stole my new bicycle.
In this day and age, are you fuckin’ kiddin me
I’m going to smoke out and then I’ll come back and write some more stupid shit.
Hail the New Dawn!!! If anyone knows that Fuck me runnin’
So what have I missed here at the FD whilst I’ve been toiling away at the movie factory?
I make a cameo here and there, but I’m fairly new in these parts, so kinda hard to say.
Jack shit Duke. Jack shit. Fuck 470, reading this shit might take a minute…
Well , "El Topo", at least you’ve probably seen the film "El Topo". Most of the drunkards don’t actually watch movies, unless of course it is a film of themselves fucking a decaying cub scout behind a KFC. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.
Nice avatar Crappy. Real nice.
Thanks, made it myself. Well, I read up to about page seven and thought, hmmm, FD shit. Whats the topic now, besides my kick ass tripper cat?
This 470 posts shit isn’t cool, at least not to people of my generation. Back in my day [3 months ago] somebody’s ass would get whooped for that.
I don’t know what Lance wanted this thread to be about-I think they’re making a movie about the Cream of Wheat Man or something. Let’s maybe talk about our intense hatred of foreigners instead.
This is a "movie" site after all. Figured I’d go with something relevant. I’ve always liked that film
What about those stinky breath Asians?
What? This is a MOVIE site?! Oh… oh…
Wha hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAH!!
Musty A rabs
Exactly. WTF is that? Why, those smelly Ak Nads should be forced to have their ears pierced and then have to wear those car air fresheners shaped like pine trees as ear rings around all the time.
The Jews have said that Giraffe is kosher. That’s just fucked up truth and not even racist.
Cool. Maybe those big shnoz bastards will hurry up and start making Hebrew National Giraffe-Beef Franks because I’m hungry and would like to eat a hotdog made from a kosher giraffe.
Chicago style, please.
*ROTFL*
FD after-hours
Whatever happened to the Spice channel? I remember trying to watch scrambled porn back….Oh before you were born Luke
I was there ElTop.
I prefer my Giraffe with some fine pork sausage, bacon wrapped and pissed on by a goat. Jews dont know what they’re missing.
After the suck cess of the slanty yellow panda movie last weekend, maybe they’ll make an animated feature about a Jewish giraffe who is picked on by the other giraffes because he is different, and he is different because instead of having a long neck he has a long nose. And he’s also annoying.
Jewraffe movie spoiler alert!! Don’t read this if you don’t want to get the Jewraffe movie all spoiled for you and shit.In the end of the movie, the Jewraffe gets made into Kosher Giraffe-beef franks.
And that hooked beak fuck of a giraffe can’t stop talking about how he only pulled 13 hun at his Gar Raffma even though "all the tribe was der". Oi!
^one minute sooner that would have been jewraffe and alot funnier.
I blame the magnum of red wine.
Or not.
UPDATE:
On beer 31.
No more Bud Light. Drank it all. It is Miller time.
DangPaulyously, we were just talking about jacking off to the static that was Spice Channel, made me think of all the CJC crew.
Now this thread is getting some legs! You can thank me for this later, Lance.
Oh, you missed that Duke, it’s Vance now. He had a midlife and chnaged his name. Or Vince, or Lince, or… fuck it, he goes by Vince now.
For some reason i picture Pauly lookin like Tom Hanks’ buddy in Bachelor Party
I 100% back Steven Spielberg’s decision to cast Don Cheadle as Uncle Ben in his upcoming film based on the legendary godfather of instant rice.
Oh sorry Duke, is this Chatzy?
(sorry to be a bitch and interrupt your CJC)*
* no I’m not
I’m not buying into that whole "Vince" thing. Lance needs to just take a Zanax and a Zima and get over her butch ass self.
Pauly, brag about it when you’re drinking something better than weak-ass American 0.002% beer.
Good evening Al. I knew you were lurking. I could smell the presence of your coochie, kind of like Dr. Lechter in Silence of the Lambs. He seemed really smart, like the kind of guy that could smell one of your farts and then be able to tell you everything you ate to make the fart.
Did you fling a rope too JW?
Duke, you’re such a charmer. Actually I was watching the extremely lame "Jumper" and just came back now to discover… well, this.
Welcome to Page 11.
You know, it’s only quarter after midnight for me. I shudder to think that the rest of you hangers-on actually have to work in the morning considering your time zones. I hope you don’t do anything important for a living like save lives or repair TVs.
Dooter sounds like an incontinence problem.
God I’m drunk.
WTF is a Dooter?
This typing is interfering with my drinking.
I’m on west coast time too. I don’t have to work tomorrow. If you remember, I’m the guy who only comes here when he’s NOT working. And I end lives and break T.V.s.
Rodney king to join cast of Celeb Rehab on VH1!?!?
Rodney King took a real beating to earn his spot on Celebrity Rehab.
That’s what I call affirmative action
If you don’t know who Dooter is, not that I want him to come back, mind you… I may have to bury you in a fire ant hill or feed you to sharks or stop addressing you like you mean something to me.
^ All of the above are equally demoralizing.
I’m worried about Pauly drinking 40 beers. Hope he doesn’t do something stupid like forget to turn on his headlights before driving his car really fast.
Settle Down….Are you always like this?
No, I’m usually much more masochistic and I’d prefer you to all be calling me "Dominatrix Al".
Were you talking to me?
At least he ain’t hittin the Thunderbird….plus he can still type
I’m worried about El Topo drinking 40 beers. Hope he doesn’t do something stupid like forgetting to plug in the hair dryer before dropping it in the bath tub.
The chord doesn’t reach
Thunderbird is one of the most perfectly named products. It’s right up there with Slinky, Jello, Play-do and dildo.
"The ‘chord’ doesn’t reach"…..You must be a musician. Musicians can’t spell.
I’m worried about the Duke drinking 40 beers. Hope he doesn’t do something stupid like magically appear in my bedroom right now.
Funny shit Duke, might be the late hour, might be the wine talking, but hey, thanks for the entertainment.
Fuckin’ Rancid is coming this weekend!!!
ps – I’d nominate the bathtub comment but it’s off topic and won’t win anyway. But in my heart, you’re a winner.
Musicians can’t spell? Don’t get me started on what architects can’t do.
Speaking of gay wrestling, and who isn’t these days, anybody catch "Rumble in the Seat" last saturday night where Ali Babba Streisand The Semen Sheik pitched a turd on the Transylvanian Tranny’s face?
… aaaand this is where the No Poon Early Morning Sausage Fest starts and I bid you all adieu.
We were aiming for 35 pages tonight and I’m very disappointed in everyone. Fuck all y’all.
Not into Gay wrestling, Al?
I was aiming at the toilet but accidently hit your collection of hairy porn. Too bad you don’t collect pee-rags. It might have actually raised the value of them.
I see nothing wrong with oiled-up muscular men groping each other. Nothing at all.
I encourage it. If you’re into that, come on over.
"Accidently"?
Al’s all horny and shit. Let’s tie her up and abuse her, like at the DMV or jury duty.
Put your hands where I can see em’ AL!!
Am I that transparent? That’s it, I’m waking up that
corpseguy on the couch. See you bird rapists in the morning.Or maybe she’d prefer getting boned in the ass, in which case we could make her finance a new car through the dealer.
Sorry Duke, there’s only room for one dick in my ass at a time – my government already has me bent over the couch. Did anyone else get their property tax papers recently?
FUCK MIKE!
Kinda funny how she comes here to get roughed up when some dude(allegedly) is asleep on the couch.
I know your type, Al. You are the kind of woman that needs to get astronaut fucked. That’s where I take you into outerspace where there is zero gravity and my spooge floats slowly through the air for a minute or so before it smacks you in the eye.
Fine, it’s a stuffed animal I named to make him more friendly.
He sits on my couch.
He’s actually a pan-handling homeless guy I picked up at the gas station on the way home from work.
DON’T JUDGE ME!
So Al, is there more to you than all that smut in your head?
(but seriously, I’m gonna go have the sex now. I think I deserve it.)
(So what if it’s with a stuffed animal.)
YOU’RE STILL JUDGING ME.
Stuffed animals? Where’d you go to Dominatrix school?
What happened to Pauly?
Ok. I tabbed out at 39 beers. Cut short by a fracus (sic) that almost was a bar brawl. *frownies*
But the cool part is that the bar had a breathalizer machine. $1 dollar, you blow through a straw, and POOF! Your BAL.
I got a .17
Ask and you shall get Pauly
Pauly is fine, so long as he remembers not to hit the brakes on his dodge neon when he drives into the bus stop. Where are you from, El Torito?
DUKE!
I missed you like a herpes flare up. How did you know I was a Mopar Man?
Texas, Devo
17 is fine, Pauly, because the limit is 55.
Only Steers and Queers come from Texas. And you aint got no horns, so that pretty much narrows it down.
I missed you too, Pauly. I love you. In a prison way, not a gay way. And I knew you were a mopar man because you seem real classy.
I can’t drive 55
I tip my dick to you, Duke. Welcome back.
Now I’m ready to suck cum off the feet.
I meant succumb to defeat.
"Beers, Steers, and Queers" I saw that cummin’
Miller lite? come on man, I expected more from a Piss connoisseur
Well Bud Light ran dry. It was either Coors or Miller, so I picked the lesser of the evils. Plus Dos Equois Amber nor Olde English were on tap.
El Topo’s right. There are way better things to make fun of Texas for.
True Story: The waitress gave me a crazy eye when I asked for a piss boot.
I used to work at the Bud plant. I haven’t bought Old gold since…the 90′s…early 90′s.
Texas does have some hot poon though
True story: I’m passing out now.
Where you at Duke?
I haven’t drank an Old Gold since Feb.
But I’ve been craving one lately.
Because I’m a spic and along with stealing, drinking is what I do best.
I’m a spic, but not the kind that act black!!!
You guys are going to have to be more interesting than ‘bating at this point.
You don’t have to be a negro to enjoy some OE, but grape drink on the other hand….
OE is nice, I always like Mickey’s though.
You would.
I’m very brand loyal.
Where you from Pauly?
I’ve drank as much Mickey’s as much as I sucked a dick.
None.
Ok, maybe like 6.
Tucson, AZ.
Oh yeah…Your Boy Mccain is in tha runnin’
I’m a felon and can’t vote, so….
Aww, man…
I’d vote McCain only because of his stance on “gooks”.
Put a fork in it, ya’ll….I’ll hit this shit tomorrow
Yeah, I’m avoiding the whole Obamagasm thing
It’s late homeboy, I’m out
*sensors detect a sudden spike in neytron radiation, and THEN! Grethor appears!*
Dor sho gha! The Mighty Fek’lhr read all of this Gah-Forshak, and all He got was this lousy t-shirt!
*end transmission*
I hate these Ben Hur threads but still feel compelled to read through them, all the better to properly profile you all.
I would be willing to
take a bullet foreuthanize any of you, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna read all of this. Besides, I was too busy last night dodging fuckin’ tornados. Again.*Donkey walks in, sees the place is a fucking mess*
I’m gonna have to fuck the landlord again to keep him from throwing us out, aren’t I?
You really knocked something loose, tiger.
*Looks around, sees Donkey rolling around naked in a pool of pudding/excretia?*
What the fuck is going on here?!
BTK
El Topo – cool fucking handle.
Don’t get too excited, El Topo. Bryce says that to all the guys while he’s looking at their crotches.
Seriously though guys? I’m out of the loop for ONE FUCKIN DAY and you go and write War and Peace on me? If you don’t love me, you can really just say so. It won’t hurt me that much.
Don’t worry Erswi, I left about 20 minutes before the shitstorm erupted on page 6.
I’m not sure because I only skimmed the comments, but I’m pretty sure that Nommy, Michelle, and Al had a three-way somewhere in there.
So has this all night chachki convention officially nuked the durst?
New Post.