06.17.08 BONER ALERT: TONY JAA EDITION
WATCH THE PROMO REEL FOR ONG BAK 2 AFTER THE JUMP
Compared to Tony Jaa, all other martial artists are made of girl parts. Feel free to mess with his elephants, but only if you want everyone in your family to get kicked in the face. In fact, he’ll probably travel back in time and kick your mom in her big, stupid, pregnant uterus. But only after he does a couple backflips just to warm up. Then he’ll shrink himself, crawl up your dad’s pee hole, and punchasize all three million of his sperm in a 7-minute steadycam shot, saving the one that became you for last.
The point is, Ong Bak 2. After Ong Bak and The Protector comes Jaa’s third starring role and directorial debut (this morning’s erectorial debut for yours truly). This time around, the plot concerns some people who do something to piss off Tony Jaa, and the spectacular ways in which he beats the shit out of all of them.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/lost-chick-lipbite-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/bitchslap-3-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/wolfman-international-poste-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/jeffbridges-crazyheart-blak-150x150.jpg)
There are 58 comments about:
BONER ALERT: TONY JAA EDITION
Tony Jaa’s stare could throw an elephant, but he doesn’t do that, because he loves them dearly.
Wait, is this a trailer for the sequel to Ong Bak or The Descent?
You can tell they’re running out of fighting styles when they get to "One Cut With Sword"
Does "Ong Bak" stand for "Showing off Tony Jaa’s Fighting Skills"? Cause this looks like it has nothing to do with the original.
I have three different fighting styles.
Ok, maybe that last one technically isn’t "mine", but I pay for it, so I considered it pwnd.
Tony Jaa is just like John Cena, except without the whole being a fucking joke part.
I love Tony Jaa, he makes proper action films, little plot, lots of bones snapping.
Ever since those cocksniffles over there stole the Electric Boogaloo joke, I get upset when I see 2 in a movie title.
Is this the one where he gets on the pummel horse and kicks the shit out of the angry mob?
Lisa Rinna once called Tony Jaa a queer. Once…
My vietnamese is a little rusty but isn’t Ong Bak 2 a spicy noodle dish topped with prawns.
Fek, it’s no fun if you don’t get angry when I prepost.
<pouts>
Fucking twitch videos, they never fucking load for me.
The Amazing Soupnak holds an envelope marked ‘Ong Bak’ to his head:
"What did Lou Ferrigno say when he returned from the store?"
Jaa’s pimp hand is strong.
If you’re ever playing Scrabble with a Vietnamese man and he drops TONYJAA on the board, dont’ ask for a definition.
I now have a reason to live another 6 months.
Fek, it’s no fun if you don’t get angry when I prepost.
Wait…then who in the hell did I throw the cup of semen on???
Oh, that was you angry? I thought that was a gift.
Jokes on you! The Mighty Fek’lhr has teh Klingon Klapp.
My fighting style:
Stinky Pinky Potty Pummel
Don’t worry, my army of crabs will consume any unclean material.
Remind me to make Michelle angry.
So what do you call parkour with elephants? I’m going to go with "pachydourm," it’s sure to be all the rage in India in 2009.
The Mighty Fek’lhr hopes Dustin Diamond is the bad guy in this movie.
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