06.30.08 A WHOLE SLEW OF NEW HELLBOY CRAP
With Hancock, Hulk, The Dark Knight, Wall E, Wanted and everything else that’s out or opening in the next few weeks, it’s almost like Hellboy 2 has slipped through the cracks - like a fart, or queef. To jog your memory, they’ve released the third official trailer (above), a featurette, an animated comic, and a clip introducing Johann Crause (all after the jump).
With a signature blend of action, humor and character-based spectacle, the saga of the world’s toughest, kitten-loving hero from Hell continues to unfold in Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Bigger muscle, badder weapons and more ungodly villains arrive in an epic vision of imagination from Oscar-nominated director Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy). After an ancient truce existing between humankind and the invisible realm of the fantastic is broken, hell on Earth is ready to erupt. A ruthless leader who treads the world above and the one below defies his bloodline and awakens an unstoppable army of creatures. Now, it’s up to the planet’s toughest, roughest superhero to battle the merciless dictator and his marauders. [Apple]
I watched all of these videos and didn’t see any kittens. I call false advertising.
Johann Kraus
Featurette
Animated Comic
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/lost-chick-lipbite-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/bitchslap-3-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/wolfman-international-poste-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/jeffbridges-crazyheart-blak-150x150.jpg)
There are 57 comments about:
A WHOLE SLEW OF NEW HELLBOY CRAP
Just goes to support my theory that kittens are the Devil’s henchmen.
I am powerless in their gaze.
It must suck to always have to call yourself Hell Boy for fear of being confused for mayonnaise.
Monster to Monster action? I thought Jenna Jameson stopped making movies!
To jog your memory, they’ve released the third official trailer (above), a featurette, an animated comic, a paint-by-numbers poster, a commemorative plate, a podcast, a novelty hat with Hellboy’s cut off horns, a Hellboy snow globe, Hellboy the board game, a limited run of Hellboy first edition printed on the woven foreskins of Christian babies, and a Hellboy Happy Meal.
Hell Boy would totally kick ass on Unbeatable Banzuke.
I don’t so much have an infinite greed as I do an infinite need for jelly beans. Have you tried them? They’re DELICIOUS!
Needs more adjectives.
So, Hell Boy cut off his tail as well? I guess he follows the old boxing theory of "no dames before a fight." Ya know, "to keep the spunk up."
No kidding, Craptastic. The event where he’d push his wife (Hellgirl?) around on the cat-shaped wheel barrow would be a cake walk.
Anyone want to play with my Hellboy Pogs?
I heard instead of paying Ron Perlman, the studio has people walk up to him and say, "Oh my God, you’re Ron Perlman!"
Laugh all you want, guys, but I can’t wait to see this.
Uh huh, keep laughing.
Still laughing?
Seriously, it’s not that funny.
Fuck you for judging me.
*runs away, trips on an air conditioner*
Favorite thing about a queef: the embarrassed look on the girl’s face.
Animated Comics a perfect for nerdy paraplegics.
Second favorite thing about a queef: letting a silent fart out and blaming it on her queef.
Hellboy’s favorite cat? Hello Kitty.
*High Five!*
True story - a friend at school used to refer to her queefs as "The Noise".
AWWW HELLSBOY NAW!
Sounded good in head.
Paully - Great avatar. Chet at his best.
Being the delicate flower that I am I have no idea what you guys are talking about. If I did though I would suggest
Love Burps
Lady Stinkers
Keiths
or
Secret Love Triangle Whispers
Worst thing about a queef? Getting the taste out of your mouth.
Girls really do that?
That’s some nasty shit! I’m getting divorced IMMEDIATELY!
TWATCHATS!!
podcasts
Mung. 1 "L". Thanks
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