WEEKEND PREVIEW: IRON MANIA!
05.02.08
Folks, it’s that time of year again – when the movie studios wisely follow three months of releases completely bereft of anything worth watching by packing everything that looks decent into a two-month window within which you’ll have no way of seeing everything you wanted to. Opening this weekend (click on the title to go to the trailer):
Iron Man
Don’t know much about this one. Have you guys heard anything?
Made of Honor
McGagme
Redbelt
In the past, David Mamet’s made some worthy contributions to cinema such as Wag the Dog, and Chuy is a fine actor, but this looks stupid. Why do they always have to make fight movies about more than people hitting each other in the face? I like people hitting each other in the face.
Son of Rambow
"In 1980′s Britain, young Will Proudfoot is raised in isolation among The Brethren, a puritanical religious sect in which music and TV are strictly forbidden. When Will encounters his first movie, a pirated copy of "Rambo: First Blood," his imagination is blown wide open. Now, Will sets out to join forces with the seemingly diabolical school bully, Lee Carter, to make their own action epic." Sounds almost like a Michael Bay origin story, doesn’t it?
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Gary Busey has already seen all of these movies.
W.W.G.B.D.?????????????
Gary Busey gets turned on by superfluous punctuation.
Tony Stark loves hookers and brandy. Especially hookers named Brandy.
My wife asked me to go see Made of Honor with her this weekend. I asked for a BJ this weekend. Misery loves company.
Is it just me or do the banner ads for Redbelt look like Simon Cowell is fighting Anthony Anderson?
Donkey – have her do it AT the movies. This way, the other guys will have something to distract them from the actual story.
Gary Busey do’snt like Made Of Honor.
I hadn’t noticed that, Jack but you’re right. However, up until I read the synopsis, I did think that the movie was about support group man-hugs from those ads.
I already copywrighted the porn knock-off, Made of Boner.
"Is Tony Stark gonna have to smack a bitch? You better start making fuck, woman or you’re gonna taste my pimp hand."
And you just knooowww RDJ sniffed blow off those to hookers asses and then violated them with fire extinguishers.
BERZERKER
BERDURSTER
The Mighty Fek’lhr plans to see Iron Man this weekend! QAPLAH!
*Pauly walks up to Fek in drag*
Hey big guy, need a date?
Ironically, Stark refuses to wear armor on "Little Tony".
Don’t fuckin’ look at ME like that, YOU’RE the one in drag.
Donkey, please tell me that you didn’t go. My wife is f’n pregnant and I said "Not no but Hell No!" Cuz I’m a real man.
Fellas: Don’t let the Power of the Pussy take control.
Be strong ‘lil buddy, be strong
erswi you’re so gonna have all girls
fuck i went to an all you can eat chinese food buffet i think im gonna die
"In 1980′s Britain, young Will Proudfoot…"
Soooo….more hobbit porn? If I wanted to see homo-erotic D&D shit, I’d go to the local GLBT Renaissance Faire (they have a real blacksmith making the cockrings, just like in the days of yore).
Bex, that’s what I had for lunch too (China A Buffet). I fuck up some Beef n Broc put I pay in the end.
Literally.
I went to an all you can eat Chinese Buffet. Some people call it the Kennel.
I went to an all you can eat Chinese buffet. I don’t know why, I couldn’t even finish one Chinaman, let alone go back for more.
I guess my eyes are bigger than my stomach, unlike Chinese people.
I heard that the orange chicken is just the girl babies that they didn’t want.
Jacktion! as the resident racist, I approve that comment. You have my vote.
i think when aslan makes his move 79% of narnia is going with him
bob that is so wrong and delicious
Sorry about the long delay. No Erswi, I did not agree to go see that movie.
Wow, a summer blockbuster about a billionare arms dealer with a bad ticker. Are you sure this isn’t a Dick Cheney biopic?
I went to an all you can eat sushi place last weekend and they brought out our sushi rolls on boats. I said to the waitress "I’m sinking these fuckers as a retaliation for Pearl Harbor" I don’t think she got the joke.
In hindsight she might have got mad I used the word "retaliation" cause she couldn’t say it.
"letariation?"
I will not, under any circumstances, be asking my husband to see Made of Honor. what is wrong with chicks?
I must qualify that by saying because I wouldnt see it with anyone’s eyes.
Eibz, I wouldn’t see it with Ray Charles’ eyes.
The last time I went to an all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffet, a 10-year old shirtless kid with a shoulder-length mullet smiled at me from another booth and said "howdy buddy!" That forced me to rethink some of my life’s decisions.
donkey that sounds like an enchanting place
For the record, the phrase "ass like a ten-year old boy" isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be.
Bex is "enchanting place" spanish for "High class joint"?
My mother’s idea of an all you can eat buffet is a Mellisa Ethridge concert. She’s a lesbian, and I’m a child of rape.
hahaha Pauly, you got it dude!!
so have you guys seen that smell yo dick video yet?
Never seen the video, but a local radio station plays the song every morning during my drive to work.
It’s my ringtone, Bex.
:D thats awesome P Dang
and we gots a durst, come on guys we’re losing the touch of the no poon afternoons
Nice Durst fags!
<runs around room high fives, cock slaps, winks, etc>
Just been checking out some remixes of an old fave on youtube and someone left this comment: Zazou moves through the swim of the greed; he dances the tango of the years. What the fucking hell does that mean? Is it code?
Oh yeah, watched Iron Man earlier and it is fucking magic.
Question, is it a bad thing when you literally vomit out your ass? Because I heard a radio add for Maid of Honor, and that happened to me, and this dude I was talking to on the phone. It’s like The Ring ‘n’ shit.
Stay classy, drunkards.
Not awesome when it rings at church, Bex.
You fags better not be wearing pants!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Pants_Day
Sunday is naked day
HA! Church. I made myself LOL out loud on that one.
Yo CB, it’s after midnight in the land of boiled meat and bad teeth now right? So tell me, is tomorrow a better day cuz today sucked rat cock.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…. it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. That’ll be a yes, then.
Made Of Honor?
Is that what they made they kids watch in Clockwork Orange?
Whoopie! Thats cool, rat cock tastes gamey.
*Chodin pokes head in kitchen*
Does anyone else smell a “No Poon Afternoon” cooking?
I took the biggest shit right now, I have proof via picture but since I can’t change my avatar….
I think I’ll send it to my Mom.
Chodin’s Mom is making Stove Top Stuffing!!
Oh, my bad – that was just my top lip I was smelling.
Does your upper lip smell like a dick broom, Chodin?
Shooting from the hip
About our faith and love
I see it in your faces thin as shadow
i’m now stuck in 1982 in the youtube vortex. Man, i’d forgotten how much i used to love this song.
Charlie, are you singing to me and Pualy?
*cough* queer *cough* *cough*
In the future, there is no Pauly…only Pualy.
Hay Pualy, ees dat da giy fwom Duhbel Dwagun?
Those are the lyrics to "Cunter and the Cunted".
The great Geroge Washingto and Pualy were community college roommates.
They got all the JCC poon, Man.
I heard a rumor that their "swords" touched while "Chinese Finger-Trapping" a skeezer, but that always happens when your cock is a yard long.
It’s a free country, brother
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no
Not tonight, anyway. Think i’m in 1984. Or rather 85 and Bono is climbing into the crowd. Y’know, U2 were rather good.
Welp, I’m off to the local watering hole. My dick aint gonna suck itself, ya’ know.
Bye turd dots.
Vaya con Dios hombre, Vaya con Dios.
lance, you need to make this entire post and all its comments the comments of the week.
damn i miss y’all.
oh, and i saw iron man last night…
two words, three syllables:
HO-LEE SHIT.
it may have been lance that said this thing is on track for being the movie of the year…that dude is like nostradamus.
per usual, i’m the only one awake on a saturday morning.
this whole no drinking thing is probably affecting my sleep.
in fact, i’m starting to wonder if i really belong on a site with drunkards now.
one could say i’m like a dilletante drunkard, a poser drunk, maybe…
a drunk by association?
a neophyte drunk?
sober sub rosa?
an erroneous inebriate?
a specious sot?
ahh, screw it i’m-a start drinkin’
this sobriety shit is overrated anyway.
s’up bne? you up this morning?
yup. just about to start some sobriety-breaking drinking.
maybe it’ll get me back into the swing of this place…; )
there are some classic comments from yesterday, man…
yeah, I missed a lot of it being out of the office for work. I checked up on the last thread when I got home though. If you think those were hot you gotta go back and check out the gary busey threads. those things win comment of the year fo sho.
i would have been happy to say that the first Spiderman or maybe Batman Begins was the hand-down best origin-story for a comic character, but i think that iron man eclipses them both w/o question. either because of the (somewhat) lighter and more humorous nature of the subject matter or something. it was freakin’ awesome though.
the whole ‘chinese buffet’ series of comments is hi-sterical.
i haven’t been here in so long that i can’t possibly ‘catch up’ with all of the little gems out there, but i’ll look at the busey thread @ your suggestion.
i was up @ 0700 this morning. couldn’t give you a reasonable reason why…
haven’t seen it yet. i downloaded it but the file was corrupt. i gotta get it again now.
hope you have some serious audio and LFE in your home system, ’cause i would say it’s worth catching it in the theatre. don’t know how the baby-erswi would take it. all the bass might affect the little nippers’ en utero development…like, maybe come out with super-sonic laser eyes or something.
That would be so fuckin awesome! BTK, it’s not baby erswi. It’s babies. Plural.
There are two of them.
yes, I’m ashamed of myself for quoting a Van Damme movie here.
ok, FYI, when the bottle says ‘alcohol may intensify the effects…’ they are NOT joking.
i think that the muscle relaxor just kicked innnn. i’ll be talking to y’all a bit laterlllllllll
Hey, homos! Glad to see you too, bne, by the way!
s’up Eibz? Sorry but I’m just about out also. Gotta go clean out my attic and my back bedroom so we can start doing our house renovations in the next week or so. Later fuckers, erswi specials all around.
whoa! i didn’t realize…my sister in law had ‘the twins’ just over two years ago…it’s been…how-you-say, interesting. and a total BALL, to boot. you must let us know sometime when they arrive. although now that i think about it. if they did come out with super powers you might have a jan and jana on your hands!
‘wonder-erswi-twin powers activate!’
‘shape of- a baby-jesus!’
‘form of- a water bong!’
you never know…
eib, you got that? i didn’t think you’d see it since the new post came up exactly at the same time that i was posting my comment. it’s so nice to be welcomed back into the fold. the sun is coming out here. i don’t believe it. yesterday, 72 and sunny. this morning, 45 fucking degrees and windy.
the longest-standing joke in northwest arkansas: don’t like the weather in the ozarks? wait for 15 minutes and it’ll change. the only thing that’s not ‘funny’ about it is that it’s absolutely true.
Sup Pimp Fuckers? So, yeah, I just saw Iron Man, and that movie didn’t have one bit of rust on it! Thats right, it’s my new type of humor. Puntopical rust humorificness. Fuck you, don’t judge me.
I have judged you. So there.
By the way, you got a score of 10, bitch
fuck i went to an all you can eat chinese food buffet i think im gonna die
Bex, I know this tidbit of wisdom is tragically
hiplate, but "all you can eat" is not a challenge.I miss you guys.
Testes
iron man= the sex
I-ron Man = the dog’s ballz. The dog’s stainless steel ballz!
Iron Man
Iron Man
Does whatever an iron can
So, Iron Man was pretty good…
/peels off his tin foil Iron Man suit
I AM IRONMAN.
/giggles delightfully