UWE BOLL IS SUING BILLY ZANE
05.01.08
–Author’s Note: Please read “Billy Zane” in the voice of Derek Zoolander whenever possible.–
Director Uwe Boll is suing Billy Zane over $700,000 in revenue from Bloodrayne.
Boll claims in the April 30 filing that Zane was the one who suggested Romar Entertainment handle distribution of the film. Zane and Romar principal James Schramm allegedly promised the film would open in 2,000 theaters and that a $10 million advance from Boll would be used for advertising and promotion. But at least $900,000 was paid out to Zane and Schramm and the movie opened in only 950 theaters, Boll claims. The film’s budget was $25 million and brought in just under $4 million at the worldwide boxoffice. [Source]
Billy Zane is the cheesiest man alive and Uwe Boll is a villain from Rocky and Bullwinkle. I can’t imagine both of them trying to act serious in a court of law. The only way to settle this is some sort of Double Dare-style challenge in which the contestants have to snorkel through a giant bowl of spaghetti and the winner is the guy who can stuff the most meatballs in his speedo.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/ragingbull-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Junie-Hoang-150x150.jpg)
Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he’s a cool dude!
Boll: Ja! OK… Vee make good za marketing togevher. JA?!
I think it’s pretty clear that Uwe Boll is physically intimidated by Billy Zane. That’s why he took him to court instead of challenging him to a fight.
re: and the winner is the guy who can stuff the most meatballs in his speedo.
that’d be me, then. Woo-hoo!!!
Wait, so the movie’s budget was $25 million, and they spent $10 million of that on advertising? They should have spent that money on hiring a decent writer and director and actors and set and editors and… etc.
Shouldn’t Uwe Boll concentrate on suing the devil for not holding up his end of the bargain?
Boll is also suing Zane for a further $500,000 for stealing his haircut.
SUCKER!!!!!!
Boll is also suing Zane for a further $10 for stealing his pen.
"This is everybody’s fault but mine"
I think what Billy Zane really stole…was our hearts.
*runs off clutching Billy Zane embroidered pillow
Uwe Boll is also suing Uli Lommel for having a name that begins with the same letter and for making movies just as shitty as Boll’s.
Boll is also suing Zane for a further $100 million for stealing his ‘lucky’ pen. He justified this in his complaint by saying "Wiff that pen I was going to write the best movie ever written. Bloodrayne 2: Electric Boogaloo."
coming soon to E! Entertainment… "PUD-RAYNE: the Uwe Boll True Hollywood Story"
If I were Billy Zane, I would just end every argument by holding up a naked picture of Kelly Brook and saying "I used to fuck that…a lot."
Shouldn’t Uwe Boll concentrate on suing the devil for not holding up his end of the bargain?
He is. See post title.
Uwe Boll is also suing Tay Zonday for writing Chocolate Rain. It states in the complaint the reasons behind this are ’just because’…
Schramm. hehe
/Borat
The vaguely-self satisfied smirk on Boll’s face in the banner pic suggests to me that he is finally getting used to the sensation of having his head squarely up his ass.
I mean, I’m no psychiatrist or anything, but I did see some of HOUSE OF THE DEAD. ugh.
My bad, Stoney. How could I forget the stirring lessons of Demon Knight?
Jeez Billy Zane got horrible luck these days, get dumped by Kelly Brook, loses his hair and then get sued.
ha ha, love it!
Billy Zane thought he was the dumbest kid in his high school graduating class because they called his name last to cross the stage.
True story: I just got an email from my boss that started wiff GRRR. I think I shat my pants when I saw that. And that’s the troof.
I’m suing Billy Zane just for getting to suck on those sweet, sweet, nips Kelly has attached to those God given mounds of chest we call titties……….
*Pauly stares off into nothing with drool running down the side of his mouth*
Do you work for Kellog’s, Erswi?
Only in today’s crumbling society could Billy Zane have starred in THE PHANTOM and still be the (slightly) more respectable of two parties involved in a lawsuit.
Demon Knight was fucking sweet. Bring it on!
*SMB hides behind Gallagher-esq clear plastic tarp*
He’s actually suing Billy Zane because Zane backed out of the film BloodZayne.
Mr. Fabian in Tombstone is how I think Billy Zane is ALL THE TIME.
Did you have to IMDB Tombstone to get his character’s name Pauly?
New post, you foppish dandies.
SMB, no. I watch that movie almost once a week.
Who doesn’t know Fabian?
I too watch it at least weekly.
Now, SMB, I’m gettin’ tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work!
I SAID THROW DOWN, BOY!
i’m liking pauly‘s (bad) taste in movies
YOU’RE NO DAISY!
Is Uwe Boll even a real person? Or did Flea not realize The Big Lebowski wrapped a decade ago?
Donk Ho’s right.
Boll was all Balls out to fight everyone. Why not Zane?
Pussy.