After the jump is the new trailer for the next movie in the Mummy series, titled The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. That title sounds like they used mad libs to write it, but okay. I guess it’s better than Terminator: The Return of the Terminator.
In the film Brendan Fraser is back as explorer Rick O’Connell and he’s battling the necromanced corpse of a Han Emperor (played by the usually-awesome Jet Li). It’s directed by The Fast and the Furious director Rob Cohen. They’ve substituted our usual Rachel Weisz with Maria Bello. Let’s see if anyone notices. – RoboPanda
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You were waiting for me to do that, weren’t you, Robo?
What the fuck? Maria Bello isn’t even in the same odor as Rachel Weisz. For the record, I’d stab Marissa Tomei to fuck Rachel Weisz.
Did they really just use the arrow sequence that "Hero" already used???
Tiings The Mighty Fek’lhr Would Rather Do Than Watch A Brendan Fraser Movie
Watch a Nic Cage movie/screeches the tires on his new AMC Pacer
I hope Maria Bello brings her Persian kitten along for the ride.
Soooooooooo a 40 year old Brendon Fraser has a 25 year old son in this movie????
I will go see any movie that has the possibility of Brendan Fraser at somepoint taking his shirt off. Does that make me gay? Surprisingly, no.
Is that the tomb from Double Dragon?
Tiings is the Mexican Things.
Necromanced? Is that like getting a hickey?
I’d fuck a mummy.
Really flying through these posts Robo. Don’t shoot your wad too early. I’ve got to be here ’til 5 Pac time.
You were waiting for me to do that, weren’t you, Robo?
Nope. But I’m pleased as punch that the fates aligned to make that happen. I fuck your sunshine.
5 Pac? I thought there were only Tu Pacs.
/raises hand and expects some serious high fives
Your Mommy: Womb of the Naggin’ Cumdumpster
<— Bizarro Vince’s Thumb. You can tell he’s evil cuz he has a mooostache.
Wow what a steaming pile of shit. If they haven’t figured out to keep Brendan Fraser the fuck away from
moviesreally old dead bodies by now, there ain’t no learnin’ ‘em.Maria Bello’s BOOSH getting Viggo’d on the stairs > Rachel Weisz’s fat ass in The Constant Gardner.
Producers: We want to make another Mummy movie
Test Audience: But we’re bored as fuck of Egyptian shit!
Producers: You guys are still into that corny Asian shit right?
TA: Hell Yeah!
Producers: Fine, we’ll resurrect a Chinese dude or something, will you go see it then?
TA: See it? Hell, I can’t wait to get "The Mummy Three" in Chinese script tattooed on my shoulder.
It
isn’t
even
a
fucking
Mummy.
I have "Get Mummy" tat’d on my neck Donkey. Just like Allen Iverson.
Thankfully, Rachel Weisz will return for The Mummy 4: Stop Or My Mummy Will Shoot.
Show me the Mummy!
Fuck you guys, you were all thinking it.
If Brendan Fraser digs up the grave of George Washingto, he’s fucked. Proper fucked.
Pauly: You shut the fuck up before the producers of this turdlet and National Treasure decide to do lunch.
Maria Bello has ugly nipples Burnsy. That’s a deal breaker for me. A guys gotta draw the line somewhere.
Was that a Yeti or does Gary Busey have a cameo in this?
Brendan Fraser is the poor man’s Brendan Fraser.
Thought it was a polar bear sans saddle Kurg.
Why is it that only action/adventure movies (or their spoofs) get the dramatic "Name and the Noun of the Adjective Noun" title? Why not other genres?
For example, a Jud Apatow comedy: Jewey Jewman and the Dream of the Blonde Shiksa
or
Sappy British period pieces: Dandy Randy and the Parlor of Oversized Hats
I suppose Parlor should be spelled Parlour in that example…
BTK, Fek – I like the new avatar. I actually thought of you when I first saw that Code Monkeys character. Good call.
“Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” is code for “Asian pussy”.
wait, he controls the five elements? is this some gay captian planet ripoff?
Stone…aren’t you supposed to pick up a 6-piece bucket of chicken today, or a baby, or something!?
Shame on a Mummy for tryin’ to run game on a Mummy.
I once necromanced a chick at this school dance.
She never walked the same again…or at all for that matter.
Is this movie had aliens, it would be JUST like Indiana Jones.
Or the Bollywood version, Indian Jones.
I hope shooting this movie didn’t take away from Brendan Fraser’s busy schedule of not shooting movies?
The baby’s arrival is set for Tuesday. I just thought I’d note it in the site news thread because why the fuck should Panda get all the fucking attention around here? I matter, too, dammit.
And, I need to get at least one more nom in before the end of the week. You know how Lance is about not paying us unless we meet quota.
Producers should just run ideas through me:
Producers: Hey we got this idea for a movie…
Pauly: [lights bong] Oh yeah?
Producer: Yeah. Imagine Brendon Fraser as……
Pauly:Nope, that shit sounds lame. [exhales bong hit]
I asked my Asian friend if he wanted to watch this and he shouted back, ” I Encino Brenda Frasia movie!”
Glad you like the avvy, Stone.
Here is a little blog entry that might amuse!
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/05/worst-thing-i-ever-did.html
I asked my Asian friend if he wanted to watch this and he shouted back "You orda flied lice! No lo mien!"
Congrats, Stone, and you are going to get another nom as soon as I catch up on reading threads.
We should all get babies now and then swap them like Pokemon.
Congrats, Stone, and you are going to get another nom as soon as I catch up on reading threads.
You can pilot my ship anytime, Panda.
Even though I haven’t met my baby yet, I’m pretty sure it will be the most awesome baby ever. Actually, I’m counting on it. I need help with construction, yard work, auto mechanics, accounting and taxes. If the baby’s gonna be able to help with all that WHILE holding a full time job, it better be amazing.
Noms? What happened, Stone? You changed, you used to be all about the music, Man.
You know, Stone’s not the first filmDRUNKard to have a baby…I mean, I steal em’ all the fucking time.
What’re you gonna name him, Stoney? Al? Please say Al.
I told my wife I’m just gonna have myself cloned because I don’t want any of her family’s genetic material in my baby. I also had to warn her brother to stay away from my future children for the same reason.
“I need help with construction…”
Fuck Stone, you’re just asking for Mike to show up, aren’t you?
FUCK MIKE!
Stone, you should name your child either "Split Pea" or "Chicken Noodle."
New post, baby-makers.
FUCK MIKE!
Stone, I’m drunk and barely know you but may I suggest Poonsmasher for a boy and Ironbox for a girl?
Maria Bello hit her peak in that movie where she got diddled on the steps. That fucking hot, by the way. Leaves marks too (for those if you with ‘actual’ women to fuck) and enough balls to demand it anywhere.
Still, Rachel isn’t getitng any younger. she’s lookin’ like Kimora Simmons (in the other site), these days…
–
Damn! I talk a lotta crap for someone that hasn’t seen a real pussy for about 15 months, huh?!
I think, if Stone has a boy, the most amazingly awesome name would have to be "Guy". Actually, lets spell it G-Y-E. Yeah….name him Gye. Or even "Rye". And the natural evolution of this namestorming has brought us to the best name for any child ever.…….Name him "Ergot". That way he’ll be able to synthesize LSD for me when you’re out of town.