Steven Seagal, noted cockpuncher, has a role in Last Night, a horror movie by first-time director Richard Crudo. You may remember Crudo for his cinematography in such masterpieces as Down to Earth, Bring It On Again, and Homie Spumoni. I had to look up that third one just to make sure it exists. Yep. Homie Spumoni. It stole the prize for Best Cinematography away from Reprise in Norway.
The original source is Romanian, but moviehole did some translating:
"The futuristic fright-flick tells of a group of people in a hospital who are transformed into bloodsucking vampires [Ed. - the worst kind of vampires]. Seagal plays the commander of a troop of soldiers sent in to obliterate the neck-biters."
I hopes he punches the vampires in the junk. He really excels at that. – RoboPanda
[source: Kappa]



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QAPLAH! He has a journal on Rotten Tomatoes now! (Can someone see if this works?)
Long time reader, second time poster. Just saying HI…
The Mighty Fek’lhr hopes Steven Seagal stabs some dude in the armpit…TWICE!
When I was younger, many a night were spent debating who was the bigger bad ass, Segal or Van Damme.
Think of all the chicks I could’ve been fucking instead……
FULL NUT SACK :-(
Fuck me, I actually am more excited to see this than Indiana Jones…
PS I am on holiday to day! Fuck you worker drones. I slept until 10am today…
Works good Mighty One. Only 7/10, huh?
bryce, do you get next monday off as well?
JHC: I can empty that sack for you… COCKPUNCH!
To be honest I do so little work it hardly matters any more…
Hi, Thirsty! Bang any dead animals lately? Don’t be shy…
Is Steven Seagal the Corey Haim or Corey Feldman of action? Because I know Van Damme is the other.
Steven Seagal is somewhere between Chuck Norris and Hulk Hogan.
Only 7/10, huh?
Well, if it hadn’t been a Narnia movie, I probably would have hated it. They make Reepicheep a little too much like Puss N Boots from Shrek, too.
Basically, if you liked the first one, you will like this. If not…meh.
"You seen Richie? He killed Bobby Lupo."
The Mighty Fek’lhr’s all time fave Seagal scene is that movie where he busts in on his niece getting high to bang this dude in a seedy hotel, and Seagal totally punks out drug guy, annhilates his stash, and drags the girl out kicking and screaming.
GRRRR…JUSTICE!
"I’m going to take you to the bank, the Blood Bank."
I want to be between Chuck Norris and Hulk Hogan. Wait does that sound Ga…
I guess if I have to ask it does. DAMN!
Fek’lhr define dead…?
I read he got his wife a cameo as one of the vampires not because of nepotism, but because she didn’t need any make-up for the role.
(He is, or was, married to Kelly LeBrock, who I don’t think hit the wall so much as the wall collapsed on her).
He looks like Henry Silva, the bad guy in his first movie, Above the Law.
‘splain that one to me…
Steven Segal is somewhere in between David Paul and Peter Paul. My guess? Loving every minute.
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What’s with the clothes?
He looks like everyone is rocking out, but then he stops to tell the Enriquez party their table is ready, and, that To Go Order 117 is ready for pickup!
The outfit is because he’s so spiritual.
Fek’lhr define dead…?
We prefer rotting with flies.
Is there a Steven Segal clothing range? Many a time i’ve watched a Segal movie and thought "Where can i get me one of those jackets?"
Stinky: Kelly was the hottest bitch in e 80′s. I fathered an entire army of drain babies over her role in Weird Science…
However, the past 20 years have not been kind to her.
If anybody is gonna be hitting any horror movie monster in the junk, it needs to be a wolfman on the receiving end of the blow.
Wolfman’s got nards!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!!!! ANDALE YIPPA YIPPA!!!
fEK, this is weird my nik in msn and skype is Repicheep Rules today, Prince Caspian kicked major quantities of ass, Repicheep Rules like a motherfucker and Susan is so damn hot, that girl is going places (mostly going donw on jewish movie execs but still goin places)
Bex: Is Diez y Nueve de Mayo another holiday or something? Or is this weekend’s drunk just hanging on for dear life?
Peet, always remember its 5 o clock somewhere, so keep on truckin’
Bex-prepare to freak out (I am buying this one, btk):
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I hope Voyage of the Dawn Treader is next. Reep is like the star of that one. Plus, most of the rest have extremely fetishistic titles: A Horse and His Boy? The Magician’s Nephew? Was C.S. Lewis a founding NAMBLA member? I can’t believe I just typed that sentence. I think I just slew my childhood.
Fek hahaha awesome :D, i loved the movie i thought it was great, i think they missed some stuff in the books like Baccus showing up and the explanation about how repicheeps clan came to be, but im not complaining i liked what i saw
New up, or down, depending on your point of view.
I’d like to lift up Segal’s pony tail and say, "You forgot to wipe! Bad pony! No Carrot!" Bag tag him and run like a bitch with her ass on fire.