SOME POSTER FOR SOME MOVIE
05.28.08
Heartless stars Jim Sturgess, that dude from 21 who my girlfriend says is hot so he’s definitely a gigantic queer. …Wait, did I just accidentally burn myself?
[via IMDB] A young man makes a deal with the devil to become handsome, but then discovers there’s a price for his good looks: he has to become a killer.
Big whoop, I’d light a baby on fire for a different hair color. I mean, I know I can just dye it, but I think a firebaby would be more fun.
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Since when is an NFL linebacker a "girlfriend", Lince?
there’s a price for his good looks: he has to become a killer.
The Mighty Fek’lhr was sure that was the price for being a sexually repressed D&D and Magic playing Trekkie?
So what if i were ugly and already killed people? what kind of deal could i get then?
Finally, a movie that comes out with the truth. It’s about time we take away the societal stereotype that we, the beautiful people out there are more likeable, more intelligent, and more morally upright than all of you poor ugly bastards.
I push a kitten into a garbage grinder for straight toes.
I’d drink a bucket of vomitted feces to have Gary Busey’s teeth.
So is that poster supposed to be the picture after he sales his soul to be handsome?? He got totally ripped off! I hope he kept the receipt.
I’d drink a gallon of jizz to have Chyna’s dick.
I’d suck the insides of a fish through it’s asshole for Colin Farrells facial hair.
Yeah, cuz if the devil is letting you pick a new body, you’d totally say, "Make me that blank-faced dude from 21 that looks like every bass player in England."
I’d microwave my parrot for Hustler’s sunglasses. They’re boss.
Ha, this dude got ripped off. Satan made me handsome and all I had to do was show him where the first hidden flute was on Mario 3.
“Squat on the white box, Lucifer! No, the fucking white box!”
Well, all I can say is I musta already made this deal with the devil because Im Fucking Gorgeous!
hmmm… let’s see:
Rampant narcissism? Check.
Weak plot device aimed at getting somebody to kill people? Check.
Stupid tagline that involves the word "darkness", "alone", or "Afraid" ? Check.
I’m definitely going to the theater for this… not because I think the movie is going to be good, but because movies like this are flypaper for at-risk teens and I want to
BTKhelp save them.I would suck Chyna’s dick to cancel the release of Sex and the City.
boPa, is your avi Quentin Tarrantino threatening me with a penis pump?
"Hey, Satan, can you make me look like that dude from that one movie? You know, the guy that looks like every third dude in London? And don’t bother making my dick bigger or give me rippling abs or anything."
I’m going to light a baby on fire and throw it at this movie.
Donkey, should we take the van or the station wagon?
Which is worse: when your girlfriend tells you that you look Jason Schwartzman, or the battery charges?
Craptastic – it’s Quentin Tarantino filling a glass boot with Cristal, cuz anything else is just piss.
I’d drink a gallon of jizz to have Chyna’s dick.
That’s exactly how she got it.
Burnsy, bring the van. The station wagon has windows and I don’t want to be seen with any of the skanks; might hurt my rep.
"makes a deal with the devil to become handsome" eh? Is the devil operating out of some discount car lot in Shittsville? How the mighty have fallen; or risen in his case. What kind of satanic transaction is that? I hate this shallow douche already. I did a deal with the devil for a 10" penis, but that’s only because i was reluctant to undergo any surgery to reduce it by half.
Chod, how come I get the feeling you’ve been told you look like Jason Schwartzman?
I’d let Freddy Kruger give me a hand-job to watch chodin and dubs "work out".
What? Those fuckers are ripped and I need a new workout regiment.
What do I get for being over 30, balding and . . . let’s just say not in peak physical condition? Is Satan willing to give me anything for that? I thought not. Fuck you
SantaSatanSanta!I made a deal with the devil and now I get Jumbo Jacks for free.
OHOK! I see it now thanks oboP.
Favorite Four Rooms scene, when Tim Roth throws the matress back and finds the dead hooker, then does the technicolor yawn all over the room… best "spit take" ever!
I made a deal with a doctor to get a "duel flow" for my piss stream.
I
made a deal with a doctorjack off to get a "duel flow" for my piss streamI’d fuck a hot waffle iron for some buns of steel.
is that poster supposed to be the picture after he sales his soul to be handsome?? He got totally ripped off! I hope he kept the receipt.
You don’t post here for weeks, then totally butcher your grammar?
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m having a bad hair day. How do i summon up the devil to get it sorted? On second thoughts, fuck it. I’ll just put some conditioner in it tomorrow when i shower.
I’d smash my balls flat with a hammer to get rid of that wonky eye of mine.
Crap, I stole Four Rooms in a drunken black out at a Blockbuster video, at like 4 in the afternoon, without trying to conceal it.
I made a deal with the devil to get that bottle of shampoo out.
I agree with Hustla, that guy was jipped. Maybe, in the before, he has glasses, or a ponytail.
I’d fuck a broken mirror if Satan could give me a massive rat tail, just for one week every month.
I don’t understand why he would do that. My Mom always told me there is someone out there that will love me for the way I am…..
She was lying, JHC
I would masturbate with a crucifix to…..
oh, wait, I did that
I buy other people’s souls through a broker like James Brown and sell those to the devil to get things I want.
I considered buying gaydar with one of my souls but you know the devil, there’s always a twist… instead, I got the ability to sense whenever Anne Hathaway is naked. That didn’t work out so well when the bitch apparently decided to take a shower when my wife’s grandparents were here last.
Who the hell wants to look like an even wussier version of David Blane?!?
The concept for this POS might be worthwhile if, before he meets the devil, the protagonist looks like this:
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2007/11/growthmanR_450x594.jpg
I’d suck a mile of dicks to get the tangy Mc Rib back on the menu
I kinda want one of those cool firebabies now.
You’re probably right Eib. She told me I’d go blind if I kept touching myself, and I see just fi….HEY! TURN THE FUCKING LIGHTS BACK ON!!!!
I hear firebabies taste like the tangy McRib.
Oh, I get it! while he gets prettier on the outside, he gets uglier on the inside… how clever.
*adds "writer of Heartless" to Donkey’s list*
Maybe he is all glow in the dark. That would make sense, if the darker it gets the more you see.
What is the List, Donkey? I imagine it is a list of people you love, right?
I’d take the deal, crawfish that ol’ devil, and drill him in the ass.
I don’t know, Pauly. The McRib is kinda gross.
Thanks to the most recent musings, I’ll call it my list of people I would throw firebabies at.
Darlin’, it appears that we must redefine the nature of our association.
Pauly, I could help you out with that McRib deal by supplying you with 1/7920th of a mile worth of dick. You do the math.
Also, Powers Boothe is a God! I love you for that reference.
But you can see it’s "ribs", just like the ol’ firebaby!
I love you firebabaaayyyyy!
*throws firebaby up in the air but distractedly scurries off to the corner to investigate shiney bits.
You gonna do somethin, or just stand there and bleed?
When I have an outbreak I shuffle out some firebabies about twice a day.
Waaaaait a second, wasn’t this a plot on Happy Days where Chachi makes a deal with the devil and becomes irresistible? I call Phoey.
You smell that Bill? Smells like someone
crawled up my ass anddied.*chodin wakes up from bad dream on keyboard*
Wha- !??
Are firebabies the new pissboots? No doubt the zombies in the Asexual City movie will be accessorising as such. Madonna likes hers charred.
JHC, stop flirting.
I’d make a deal with the devil for a 5 o’clock shadow likw George Michael.
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Making a deal with the devil!? And there’s a price to pay!? Where do these Hollywood writers get their ideas! OMG! Most original story since "Swimfan"!!!!!
I knew it! I IMDB’d this sonova bitch and it’s the fucking dick-lick from Across The Universe. I swear to christ this guy is the human equivalent to a really thorny shit inching out of my ass.
Also I would let this fuck-face push a really thorny shit back up my asshole for the Bruce Campbell chin. For use at birthdays and weddings.