RUSSIA GETS ITS FIRST EMO FILM
05.19.08
Here’s the vaguely not safe for work (brief nudity) trailer for Russian film Zakrytye Prostranstva (Confined Spaces), directed by Igor Vorksla. According to russia-ic, this is the first emo film produced in Russia. Seriously? Can it be considered "emo" if you’re depressed about living in freakin’ Russia? Seems justified to me.
The trailer’s not subtitled, so Twitchfilm sent out a plea to their regulars to translate. Commenter Vladimir eloquently explains:
"It’s art-house movie about the guy with agoraphobia, who kidnapped pizza-girl and will release her after she would make 3 tasks."
I should totally sue. They completely ripped off the police report about that time I kidnapped the pizza guy and made him make with the three tasks, ifyouknowwhatimean. – RoboPanda
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Huebel-gyllenhaal-carell-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
In Soviet Russia, wrists cut you!
Three tasks;
A Russian film isn’t emo unless it has the Winds of Change whistling playing the entire time.
I once delivered a pizza to a guy with "Al Gore Aphobia"! He votes Republican!
In Soviet Russia, this film would never have been made.
I miss Soviet Russia. :-(
Where did she deliver the pizza from, the ballet?
I swear to God, if he hurts that pizza girl, I’m going over there. I am so tired of ordering my brides and having them arrive pre-bruised.
Call me patriotic but I like my woman’s bruises to be red, white and blue.
Banner cap:
Look here bitch. You can either take your dress off and enjoy it, or I’m gonna slip this roofie suppository in your ass and push it up with my dick. Either way I’m making with the fuck.
Stay classy, JHC.
What with the flour shortage and all, I’m betting dude ordered that pizza about 5 years ago.
::ding dong::
Da?
Pizza.
Fuck off, my buzz is long gone!
I never thought of making the guy do any tasks when he delivers the pizza. i’m happy if he just glances at my erect penis when i answer the door naked and engorged.
Right Kurgan!?! High FIVE!
By the time this movie has made it to the states, it will have the title White Snake Moan. The song that plays over the end credits? "Is This Love?"
HIGH FIVE!!!
Stay classy, JHC.
Is that your passive/aggressive way of telling me that today is no anal jokes Monday?
My step dad is super passive/aggressive, so I’m a little punchy….and he has a hellish left hook. You can even be looking for it, and BLAMO! Night, night.
I bet there’s just a character in it named Emo.
With a sexy bowl cut and a silver tongue – from all that delicious mercurial fish.
CACTUAR!!!!!!!!!
Shhh, Bex… don’t make too big a fuss about Avatars. Michelle may come to realize that we can change them now and she might take off that very excellent Jennifer Connelly picture.
She already did, its wonder woman, and welcome back michelle
Russia gets its first Emo film.
I watched the whole trailer and I didn’t see that ticklish little red, furry freak anywhere in it! What a fuckin gyp!
And here I was worried.
GRRRR…. BONDAGE SLAVE!
In Soviet Russia, the anchovies hold you!
Thanks! Glad to be back in my Pro American Unitard!
Sorry, that extra space above is where I meant to say that I’d bang that delivery girl until Stalin sat up in his tomb and told us to keep the fucking noise down.
New up, fall out boiz.
Wait , there are non emo Russian films? Since when?
Robo, you dont have to lie to make friends.
The closest sounding name to Fall Out Boy in German is Gefallen Jungen,
which loosely translates to "Favors Boys".
Feel free to check on Google in the Language Tools section.
This explains alot…
–
Your first task: Go to the store and get me 20 Rothmans.